History Channel-USC v. Greatest armies in history

[Chest Rockwell]

Funny stuff. I can actually believe all of this to be true except:

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[burntorange4life]

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[orangeut]

On a somewhat related note, ESPN sux has just hired Crazy Terrence the One-Legged Manure Eater

to do college football analysis. Of course he thinks SC is going to beat the crap out of us also. He's drooling

 

[CottonEyedHorn]

George Lucas uses the USC football team to stand in as Storm Troopers in all his Star Wars movies. After OJ Simpson's storm trooper bumped his head on the doorframe in the opening scene of Episode IV, he was not invited back.

 

[Lobo74]

ESPN has requested stool sample from Bush and Carroll to be used as air fresheners in its studio.

 

[mini van horn]

Regie Bush told his therapist (he rolls in Cali, remember) that he cries every time he sees Neo beat countless Agent Smiths effortlessly in the schoolyard in Matrix Reloaded.

Apparently, the world is a very lonely place when your only equal is a fictional futuristic sci-fi digital kung-fu superman.

 

[Hornius Emeritus]

One village, one Trojan.

 

[burntorange4life]

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[flyinsquirrl]

Pete Carroll always kicks everybody's *** online in Ages of Empire III. Then he likes to rub it in by commenting on his recipe for success afterwards, which usually involves some Victoria's Secret Enchanted Apple hand cream and playing some Nick Carter in the background prior to battle.

 

[orange_pride]

When Reggie Bush had sex with Paris Hilton, the sex tape made its round throughout the world like wildfire. However, it wasn't what Paris offered that got us interested in the tape...

 

[runthebone]

AP (Narnia)--Director Andrew Adamson announces that for future installments in the Chronicles of Narnia, Aslan will be renamed "Reggie Bush" because he, while sinless, gave up his life as substitutionary atonement for another's wrongdoing. Then he was resurrected from the dead and destroyed the White Witch (Vince Young) and her forces of evil. Also, Christmas is moved to March 2, Reggie Bush's birthday.

 

[Hornius Emeritus]

The rhinoceraus is actually the result of a drunken one night stand Lendale White had with a hippo.

 

[Hornius Emeritus]

"Blitzkrieg" is the German word for Reggie Bush.

 

[Exile]

Reggie Bush is suing the San Diego Chargers for copyright infringement. He says the lightening bolt on their helmet is a blatant copy of the one coming out of his ***.

 

[TexasSun]

In a never aired celebrity episode of the Smurfs, Pete Carroll was cast as Gargamel and Reggie Bush was Azrael. The episode was left on the cutting room floor, because Bush and Carroll quickly discovered the Smurf village and slaughtered all of the Smurfs before the Intro theme song was even over.

On a related note, Bush uses Papa Smurfs white blood to paint 619 under his eyes.

 

[HoosierHorn]

With a month to prepare, Pete Carroll will lead USC back in time and beat the '72 Dolphins 16 times.

 

[mini van horn]

Steve Irwin (the crocidile hunter) was scheduled to go to Southern California to study the rare and dangerous USC Trojans. He changed his mind. He was just too damn frightened.

 

[blueglasshorse]

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[newport horn]

General ZOD kneels before Reggie Bush

 

[Bill in Sinton]

News Flash from the North Pole Express and News:

Due to illness tonight Santa Claus will not be able to make the deliveries for only the second time in history. Mrs. Claus made the deliveries the last time but she is ill too. Both have colds and have been ordered by doctors to rest for a few days. Both are expected to make a complete recovery but too late for the toy deliveries tonight.
But be encouraged because Reggie Bush has said he is willing to make the deliveries from the North Pole. He will be running back and forth from the North Pole for each delivery rather than be slowed down by riding the sled tonight. A record time is expected to be recorded tonight so enjoy your Christmas and presents from Santa Bush.
ESPN was going to record this historic event but as one executive said: "There isn't a camera made that could record Reggie's speed."
Coach Pete Carroll when asked if he were concerned with Reggie getting fat like Santa after consuming so many Christmas snacks tonight replied "No. Not to worry. He will use up the calories running back and forth from the North Pole."
He will be running so fast that we may not be able to hear Santa Bush as he yells "HO! HO! HO! MERRCY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!"

 

[TyphoonSe7en]

This thread is hilarious, I actually heard people talking about it in a bar last night

 

[The Greatest]

Reggie Bush is allowed to walk on the grass in college station.

 

[aflatoon]

In 201 AD the barbarian Mongols led by Mo Du pierced the Great Wall with an army of over 300,000 men. Reggie Bush sealed all the holes with his endless supply of Trojans. He did it so fast that he still had time to make it back to LA to go loofah shopping with Petey.

 

[OpusOne]

how did this thread get so long?

 

[orange_pride]

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[gobears92]

How many of you had to open up some History Books for this thread?????
Be honest...

 

[MustangKurt20]

Reggie Bush reunited Led Zeppelin and Van Halen.

 

[40Acres&aHorn]

Reggie Bush gets free parking at the Texas-OU game

 

[MissingInAction]

Pete Carrol taught Sydmil Harris how to speak 5 different languages.

 

[MustangKurt20]

Matt Leinart's arm strength make Brett Favre and John Elway look like Chad Pennington.