History Channel-USC v. Greatest armies in history

[Ankf00]

this thread has neglected to mention the fact that Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush would have single handedly staved off Hirohito's forces in Pearl Harbor. Advanced notice and anti-aircraft weaponry be damned.

Lucky for the Japanese, the Zues of men was not yet conceived.

 

[Hank_Kingsley]

*****SPOILER*****






It was a Reggie Bush jersey in Marsellus Wallace's briefcase.

 

[UTxOrange]

Last night I was sitting out on the front porch with my cousin when I saw something in the sky. I'd be damned if it wasn't Reggie Bush leading Santa's sleigh.

 

[Punt on 1st Down]

When 25,000 Persians landed on the Plain of Marathon, Matt Leinart told Pete Carroll, "don't worry coach, we got this." After routing the Persians with the greatest offensive military attack in history, Reggie Bush and Pheidippides ran back to Athens to announce the victory. Reggie arrived in Athens first but since Pheidippides died of exhaustion after the run, Reggie let Pheidippides take all of the credit.

 

[mini van horn]

Reggie Bush's Semen has just broken a Sotherby's record being auctioned off for $1,000,000 per sample. The bidder was not a woman but rather a biomedical consortium that plans on reselling each individual sperm for $1,000,000 each.

The Federal Reserve Bank, however, has temporarily blocked the deal. They are considering using the substance to back up the dollar and take the US back to a "hard currency" called the Reggie Standard.

 

[TR_Horn]

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[UTME]

Reggie Bush built the Great Wall of China

 

[UTME]

Pete Carroll walks on water.

 

[UTME]

Pete Carroll is the most powerfuest entity to ever exist in the history of existing. I have it on good authority that a previously missing entry from the last of Einstein's journals contains a mathematical proof which clearly and concisely proves that Carroll’s 'Leinart-Trojan-Bush Trick Whitey Mind Force' is exactly equal and opposite to the 'OU sucks Force'. (Please reference OU Sucks Force). It is this balance that keeps the universe from imploding and being pulled into Norman, OK (where the OU Sucks Force originates from). Mankind’s understanding of the laws of physics has forever been changed.

 

[MustangKurt20]

Shaquille O'Neal is Dominique Byrd's stunt double

 

[Horn_Dude]

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[UTME]

In reply to:

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[MustangKurt20]

Reggie Bush could whip Ken and Ryu's *** at the same time

 

[orangeut]

Reggie can drink sulfuric acid and then piss Perrier water.

 

[I Hear Voices]

I think Reggie Bush could push a piano through a key hole and the piano would come out whole.

I saw this reenacted once in a vision but the guy doing it had a long white beard and was surrounded by an aura of golden light.

In fact, now that I think about it, maybe it was a camel and the eye of a needle. I get so confused these days I don't know what to believe about USC and Reggie and company.

Maybe I heard Mark May reference these events the other night on ESPN. Or maybe it was in church, or...

I just don't know any more except that I have been feeling worthless lately. My therapist says I should stop watching ESPN. He said that he has noticed some improvement in my overall sense of well being after Trev and Lou were asked to find other jobs.

Lately, I dream of war at night and my side always loses. Last night, even World War II turned out differently.

I've been thinking about writing to Ann Landers again, but why bother because she never gets it right. Last time she told me George Pickett suffered no casualties as he led the USC Army during their famous charge. Imagine being able to withstand the Federal artillery followed by all that musketry.

I reach for the rusty razor blades but my senses are numbed and I return to a fitful sleep as the hooves of a thousand cavalry horses pass my bedroom widow.

Perhaps the person in the long white beard will bring me peace and salvation.

 

[Naked Bongos]

Pete Carrol was once diagnosed to be in a permanently vegatative state. Once in heaven he fought of the hordes of hell with just the use of his Sony PSP.

 

[UT Padrino]

Reggie Bush spent all Christmas flying around the country helping kids put together the bikes their parents bought them for Christmas and could not put together.

Pete Carroll spent the day siting in his wheelchair with Cerebro on his head directing the action. His mutant mind powers are magnified by the device and helped him find the unassembled bikes while figuring out ten different gameplans that would each beat
Texas.

 

[blonthang]

Paramount Pictures is remaking "Citizen Kane."

The opening scene of "Citizen Young" has the 95-year old VY on his death bed, dropping a glass orb filled with water and miniatures of Reggie Bush and Matt Lienart, and VY mumbling....."Rose Bowl......Rose Bowl...."

 

[Ramathorn]

Lendale White, unlike Hansel, really is too cool for school.

 

[2feathers]

USC's offensive line:

79 - Sophmore LT Sam "Great Wall of China" Baker
- Strengths
So wide he can be seen from outer space

71 - Senior LG Taitusi "Great Pyramid of Giza" Lutui
- Strengths
So big he blocks out the sun
"Man fears time, yet time fears the pyramids"

67 - Junior C Ryan "Maginot Line" Kalil
- go around, go around, go around

51 - Junior RG Fred "Diamond Head" Matua
- It was originally named Laeahi by the ancient Hawaiians. The name meant "brow of the tuna".

74 - Junior RT Winston "Backside" Justice
- Don't turn your back on this guy!

Playing against these guys will be like going against the 7 Wonders of the Ancient World. Why bother?

 

[Phil Hellmuth]

The new F-22 is an exact replica of Reggie Bush's body and the plane's flying pattern was obtained from his Rival's vidoes.

 

[Horn_Dude]

AM 1300 The Zone just announced a format change from "The Longhorn Station - All sports all the time" to "The Reggie Bush Station - All Reggie all the time". The local Austin ESPN affiliate has refused to pick up the rights to broadcast Longhorn Sports stating that "it might offend Reggie".

 

[Burnt Orange Bevo]

The action-packed movie "The One" with Jet Li is essentially the repackaged life story of Reggie Bush. In it, RB accumulates all the strength, speed, and power from each of his parallel-universe copies by doing flying jump-kicks into them at mach speed and rendering them dead. Word on the street is that Jamaal Charles is the only RB double (remaining alive in all the parallel universes) left alive to counter RB. If RB is able to take JC out... all power in the universe becomes his.

 

[ThrowittoRoy]

When Reggie Bush was in line to get on the plane to NY for the Heisman, he stood next to two Mexicans for a few minutes and picked up the spanish language just by listening to their conversation.

Upon hearing this, ESPN purchased Telemundo and will have Reggie host episodes of SABADO GIGANTE on saturday nights during the college football offseason replacing College Gameday Final.

Ay ay ay, seis uno nueve!!!

 

[MrX]

Sherman's March to the Sea, which was done without any communication to Washington since Sherman cut his telegraph lines, was actually accomplished with only Sherman, Major General Pete Caroll, and USC's 85 scholarship players.

 

[Horn_Dude]

"Quién es más macho? Bush o Montalban?"

 

[techie]

Rece Davis just mentioned this thread on ESPN's gameday. Mark May and Lou Holtz were talking about how USC stacked up with the alltime great teams and Rece said according to UT fansite they had already given up and was wondering how USC would do against Rome and Caesar and how Custer would have won had USC been on their side.

 

[blonthang]

techie,

I hope that they were joking.

Probably not. Sarcasm is probably something that goes right past espn idoits.

Hook 'em

 

[SteveFoxSC]

Come on you guy's are you crazy the new Reggie Bush Station is about to come out soon this is no tme to be talking! Crap ima be sure to get Reggie Bush 2007 on that thing!

 

[UTeric32]

Tonight on the Playboy channel they are showing an "interview session" with Reggie Bush and Mark May. Word on the street is May will work standing up for the next week.