History Channel-USC v. Greatest armies in history

[ScoPro]

If General Pickett had Reggie Bush with him on Day 3, fried chicken & grits would have been the national dish.

 

[MP5]

Reggies from so cal, not the dirty south. Pretty sure everyone eats Baja mexican and sushi.

 

[DrPepperHorn]

OLN just announced the real reason that Lance isn't participating in the Tour next year is b/c Reggie announced that he is using the race as a warmup for his offseason workout.

He is also considering breaking Lance's record if an NFL team will allow him to miss part of summer camp.

 

[ESPNJunkie]

Oprah has just come out with her new book of the month: Why I Want to Be Reggie Bush...the Life and Times of a True American Hero...she has also announced that everyone in the audience was going to be able to shake this great man's hand except that he currently is taking over the duties of the Pope.

 

[gohorns78]

the title for this post made me laugh.. its great.. hook em!

beat the hell outta of usc!

 

[GHOST HORN]

neil armstrong just called... said the USC flag was on the moon when he arrived. told me not to tell anybody, but i never thought hornfans was a body. anybody got a super duper powerful telescope???

 

[HornDawg]

Dateline 1984, President Reagan declares that the Soviet Union has violated its political commitment to observe the SALT II Treaty. United States prepares for Global Thermonuclear Warfare.


March 1985, Reggie Bush is born at Sharp Memorial Hospital, Los Angeles, CA.


March 1985, first order of business, Reggie Bush eliminates Konstantin Chernenko, Chairman of the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet. Installs Mikhail Gorbachev as General Secretary of the Communist Party. Coins terms perestroika and glasnost during Sesame Street commercial break. Wins Cold War.

 

[blonthang]

Next week's Jeopardy features Reggie Bush as he stomps a mudhole into his fellow contestants.

Categories in which RB shines include "I've Seen Hotter on Campus", "Sneezy Beltran Meets Marquis Johnson", and "Capes, Orange Pants, and Name That Defense".

Where Reggie really shines is in Final Jeopardy, the category being "University Mascots That Have Nothing to do With the City in Which They are Located"

Reggie's winning question is "What is the University of Southern California Trojan?"

The creator of Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, Merv Griffin is so taken with RB's talent, he immediately signs him to replace Vanna White to turn letters on WOF.

 

[HogsSuck]

Did anyone catch Monday Night Raw? Apprently, the WWE has announced the main event at Wrestlemania will be a 3-way cage match between Reggie Bush, Ditka, and a Hurricane. Then Vince McMahon announces that none other than Hurricane Ditka will guest referee! How will Bush overcome this?!?!?!

 

[40Acres&aHorn]

a Bedouin shepherd loses his goats in the hills. He yells and looks but no luck. Out of desperation he throws a rock in to a small cave opening and hears a shattering sound. Upon investigation he finds two things:

The Dead Sea Scrolls
The USC playbook

 

[sessamoid]

The SciFi Channel is proud to announce a new television mini-series about a ragtag group of incredibly talented humans who survive genocide from the Cylons. Led by Commander Carroll and ace fighter pilot StarBush, the USC Trojans lead the remaining humans to victory over 10^50 Cylons and accomplish a feat no other team in football history ever accomplished--saving the entire human race from complete and utter extinction!

Join us as the SciFi Channel premieres a dramatization of the greatest story ever:








Battlestar Prophylactica!

 

[Ramathorn]

Just saw a remake of the Karate Kid. Matt Leinart knocks out Daniel-San to win the All-Valley tourney.

Also, Reggie Bush was on Ellen the other day. She is now a straight.

The ultimate though: USC vs Ditka?

 

[Ramathorn]

USC beat aggy 80-0 two years ago.

 

[Hornitos]

.....This just in....

The "A-team" has been officially renamed The "B-Team".

B.A. Barracus and Murdock finally agreed on something....

 

[Varsity Forever]

This just in: USC went back in time to 1876 and belatedly joined General George Custer's fighting troops to bring victory to the U.S. Army in the Battle of Little Big Horn. Matt Leinart picked off 50 Cheyenne with nothing but a bag of footballs, and Reggie Bush ran through the ranks so fast that they all shot one another. Pete Carroll, after spending a month preparing his troops for the victory, enjoyed a "peace pipe" afterward.

 

[WiscOwnsShoe]

Nominate for classics

 

[Brother Horn]

Congress is in favor of slashing the national defense budget in favor of a USC style Pentagon.

 

[Texas Horn]

Reggie Bush isn't hung like the Trojan Horse. The Trojan Horse is hung like Reggie Bush.

 

[hornybuck]

reggie was really supposed to die for everyone's sins, but jesus himself said it would be a sin to not see him play football

 

[DAGMAR]

Reggie Bush just won a "Trick Shot Magic" pool competition on ESPN2...and he doesnt even know how to play pool

 

[GatorHorn]

Pete Carroll used the Jedi Mind Trick to make Chris Webber call a timeout in March of 1993.

 

[2feathers]

Saruman's Uruk-hai army has Helm's Deep encircled and under full attack. The elves and men are dropping like rainwater. The Uruk-hai have breached the walls and all looks hopeless. King Theodin's Rohirrim are 1000 leagues to the west. All looks hopeless.

What's that? A football just ricocheted off the Uruk-hai general's head. He goes down in a heap. Another football flies through the air, another Uruk-hai goes down. And another. And another.

The Uruk-hai attempt to look through pure white light at a figure, a man, a man in a suit of strange armor. He has huge shoulders and rippled thigh muscles. The Uruk-hai recognize this being and know all is lost. It is Matt the Heaver, the Scarlett Wizard of the Far West. He has been sent by Carroll of Minas Troy to dispatch the Uruk-hai back to Isengard.

The Age of Men has been saved for another day.

 

[MustangKurt20]

Before resigning defeat at Appomattox Courthouse in 1865, General Robert E. Lee first consults with General Longstreet if the Rebels had it in them for one last stand. Longstreet, knowing full well the dire position the Confederate army faced, suggests to Lee that he unleash the USC corps led by General Pete Carroll upon the right flank of the Federal Army. Lee, always the gentleman, refused this suggestion because he knew every last federal soldier would be slaughtered by the carnage of Carroll's troops. It is rumored that Corporal Bush could strategically throw his "619" eyeblack pieces directly to the jugular of oncoming troops and that Major Leinart could instantly make any human, male or female, instantly fall in love with him and therefore be resigned not to fight. History would have ultimately been changed had Lee unleashed the most ferocious of all military personnel in human history. THE USC CORPS

 

[Cwaghorns]

In reply to:

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[mez2]

reggie bush does NOT need more cowbell.. actually, it should be noted that he is actually Bruce Dickinson. Yes, TEH Buce Dickinson

 

[TrickyStickin]

To Classics

 

[Uncle Rico]

In Red Dawn, the group of high schoolers that whipped the Commies *** was really USC. Jed and Matty were Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush, but in real life they wouldn't have taken over the town and destroyed the entire Russian base.

 

[UTIceberg]

Ah yes, this is one of the reasons why I love hornfans.

Thanks to all for a great job.

 

[kujotx]

On 21 January 1879, Lord Chelmsford sent out patrols to try to locate the Trojan squad . Maj. Charles Dartnell, that afternoon, reported an encounter with the Trojans. On 22 January, responding to Dartnell's report, Chelmsford split his main force and accompanied an additional 1600 troops to support those already in the field, leaving approximately 1800 men, including the 24th Warwickshires, to guard the camp. The main Trojan squad, consisting of about 11 troops divided into three corps under the commands of Ntshingwayo kaMahole, Mavumengwana kaNdlela, and Matt Leinhart had left Ulundi on 17 January and, on 20 January were camped about 15 mi (25 km) from Isandlwana. Using Shaka Reggie's "horns and chest" maneuver, they attacked the British main camp at about noon on 22 January. The superior firepower of the British Martini-Henry .45 cal breechloading rifles initially checked the Trojans who were armed only with footballs and their hands smeared with Icy-Hot brand muscle ointment. Eventually the overwhelming ability and bravery of the Trojans, coupled with the inability of the British to provide a steady supply of replacement ammunition, turned the tide of battle. By 2:30 PM the Trojans had overrun the camp and, except for a small number of escapees screaming from their burning eyes, killed the defenders and impaled them on yardage sticks. Chelmsford, on hearing that the camp had been overrun, is reported to have said, "I can't understand it, I left a thousand men there."

 

[numbereleven]

I was just flipping past Nickelodeon and swear I saw Reggie Bush score against Spongebob Squarepants. Dude can hold his breath for HOURS.

Tonight, Pete Carroll is hooking up with Mary Tyler Moore on Nick at Night.