History Channel-USC v. Greatest armies in history
- Thread starter Jive_Turkey
- Start date
The NFL has opened an investigation into the Colts loss to the Lightening Bolts yesterday.
There is some concern over a rumor that the Colts threw the game to enhance their draft position for next year, and that the Colts are in the process of turning their franchise in for practices that would result in the Colts forfeiting all wins this year.
The suspicion is that the Colts are trying to get the number one pick away from any other team, rather than face the horror of having to play against Reggie Bush the next few years.
There is some concern over a rumor that the Colts threw the game to enhance their draft position for next year, and that the Colts are in the process of turning their franchise in for practices that would result in the Colts forfeiting all wins this year.
The suspicion is that the Colts are trying to get the number one pick away from any other team, rather than face the horror of having to play against Reggie Bush the next few years.
rushman2112
< 25 Posts
my fav. part was how Pete Carroll gameplanned against and shut down the blitzkrieg. Like they always say, give him a month and he cannot be defeated!
Jive_Turkey
1,000+ Posts
Jive_Turkey
1,000+ Posts
A lot of people don't know this, but when filming the World Series of Poker, ESPN arranged a special no limit game between Reggie Bush, Doyle Brunson, Phil Helmuth, Johnny Chan, Phil Ivey, Greg Raymer, Howard Lederer, and Jesus Ferguson.
Bush won the bracelet. He had 7 straight Royal Flushes.
Bush won the bracelet. He had 7 straight Royal Flushes.
Dateline Atlanta, GA:
"The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has announced today preliminary results of a study initiated by University of Southern California research scientists.
Dr. Strangelove of the CDC remarked: 'We are a bit disappointed in the early results of our blind trials in which we are attempting to duplicate the USC study. While there is hope that their claim of just 2 drops of Reggie Bush's blood would be sufficient as a vaccine to prevent bird flu contractions for up to 220 million Americans, our results suggest it may take as much as a full pint of his blood to innoculate all of the North American continent.
We will keep the American public advised as we learn more on this breakthrough that rivals the Salk and Sabin vaccine discoveries for eradication of polio.'"
"The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has announced today preliminary results of a study initiated by University of Southern California research scientists.
Dr. Strangelove of the CDC remarked: 'We are a bit disappointed in the early results of our blind trials in which we are attempting to duplicate the USC study. While there is hope that their claim of just 2 drops of Reggie Bush's blood would be sufficient as a vaccine to prevent bird flu contractions for up to 220 million Americans, our results suggest it may take as much as a full pint of his blood to innoculate all of the North American continent.
We will keep the American public advised as we learn more on this breakthrough that rivals the Salk and Sabin vaccine discoveries for eradication of polio.'"
HornsForever'93
1,000+ Posts
AP Wire---
PETE CARROLL has announced that after a month of planning he has come up with a strategic missile plan that would shield the Earth from the destructive Asteroids that are bearing down on the planet. The United Nations has proclaimed Carroll as the Saviour of the Planet.
PETE CARROLL has announced that after a month of planning he has come up with a strategic missile plan that would shield the Earth from the destructive Asteroids that are bearing down on the planet. The United Nations has proclaimed Carroll as the Saviour of the Planet.
UTME
25+ Posts
I've heard that Peter Jackson is going to re-release the LOTR trilogy in the upcoming 'Super Deluxe Director's Cut: Gold Platinum USC Edition". The caveat is that all three movies have been combined into one 45min feature length film. Apparently the roll of Frodo Baggins, originally played by Elijah Wood, has been rewritten for Reggie Bush. Bush will become the new ring bearer and will be responsible for the "one ring's" journey into the fires of Mt. Doom. Jackson had to significantly shorten the length of the movie because Bush was so fast that none of the Sauron's eye could not follow him on his quest. Work from E! News is that it went cross-eyed.
Another item of note is that Gandolf will now be played by Pete Carrol. The word from Jackson's New Zealand studio is that Carrol grew a 4ft beard especially for this role and had a full month to prepare against the onslaught of the Sarumon's army. The Orks figured it would be a better idea to leave well enough alone and they all went AWOL.
The 'Super Deluxe Director's Cut: Gold Platinum USC Edition' DVD of the LOTR should be in stores by Arbor Day.
Another item of note is that Gandolf will now be played by Pete Carrol. The word from Jackson's New Zealand studio is that Carrol grew a 4ft beard especially for this role and had a full month to prepare against the onslaught of the Sarumon's army. The Orks figured it would be a better idea to leave well enough alone and they all went AWOL.
The 'Super Deluxe Director's Cut: Gold Platinum USC Edition' DVD of the LOTR should be in stores by Arbor Day.
UT Padrino
100+ Posts
How does one eye go cross-eyed?
Sleepygrad
< 25 Posts
Pete Carroll was given one month to game plan against Mr. T and Chuck Norris together. Pete Carroll's game plan was perfect: he sent only Reggie Bush.
Neither Chuck Norris nor Mr. T have been heard from since.
Neither Chuck Norris nor Mr. T have been heard from since.
red candypaint
< 25 Posts
In the year 2007, PLO president Abbas is asassinated culminating a seemingly Iranian-backed Hezbollah coup d'état. The fragile Middle East peace that had began in the year 2004 had appeared to come to a sudden, and violent conclusion. Hezbollah and Hamas pointed the blame towards Israel, and conflict loomed on the horizon larger than Mangino's *** post-postgame trip to $4.99 shellfish buffet night at Sammy's Seafood Kitchen's.
The UN Security Council was deadlocked; with China and Russia blocking every possible measure. Now Israelis and Palestinians were in full-fledged war; weeks and months went by as the world watched helplessly on.
Into the mess at the UN stepped Secretary-General Elect Bill Clinton. In an emergency midnight meeting of the General Assembly, Secretary-General Clinton ordered the passage of a 15-day ceasefire. He also announced the appointment of a Special UN Ambassador to Israel/Palestine with the standard lofty goal of ending the centuries-old conflict...this man?
Pete Carroll
It cannot be said that this announcement came as much of a surprise to the delegates; after all, this was the same man they watched guide the University of Southern California to victory in the game now commonly referred to as 'The Seriously Greatest Domination Ever' in the 2006 Rose Bowl. (USC's 147 Texas -2 )*
Ambassador Carroll made progress in no time. Every man admired him from 'The Seriously Greatest Domination Ever' and his casual, laid-back persona made him a hit with the ladies. (24 local Islamic clerics even issued fatwas allowing women to remove their veils upon the passing of Carroll, in order to both properly absorb his brilliance and to prevent massive public unrest, the popularity of Carroll was such).
After making special agreements with both the Israelis and Palestinians on a condition for peace, Ambassador Carroll personally desalinated the Dead Sea in an act of such astonishment and ridiculousness that the two sides soon went on to live in harmony, forming a bipartisan government under the leadership of Grand Chancellor Carroll.
*-Texas achieved a score of negative 2 after a Longhorn player ran off his own bench and tackled his own punter in their own endzone late in the 4th quarter to prevent further embarassment attributable to Reggie Bush's five blocked punts of the evening (another example of the brilliance of the mind of Carroll, the coach having randomly inserted Bush into the 'Punt Block' team only that day)
The UN Security Council was deadlocked; with China and Russia blocking every possible measure. Now Israelis and Palestinians were in full-fledged war; weeks and months went by as the world watched helplessly on.
Into the mess at the UN stepped Secretary-General Elect Bill Clinton. In an emergency midnight meeting of the General Assembly, Secretary-General Clinton ordered the passage of a 15-day ceasefire. He also announced the appointment of a Special UN Ambassador to Israel/Palestine with the standard lofty goal of ending the centuries-old conflict...this man?
Pete Carroll
It cannot be said that this announcement came as much of a surprise to the delegates; after all, this was the same man they watched guide the University of Southern California to victory in the game now commonly referred to as 'The Seriously Greatest Domination Ever' in the 2006 Rose Bowl. (USC's 147 Texas -2 )*
Ambassador Carroll made progress in no time. Every man admired him from 'The Seriously Greatest Domination Ever' and his casual, laid-back persona made him a hit with the ladies. (24 local Islamic clerics even issued fatwas allowing women to remove their veils upon the passing of Carroll, in order to both properly absorb his brilliance and to prevent massive public unrest, the popularity of Carroll was such).
After making special agreements with both the Israelis and Palestinians on a condition for peace, Ambassador Carroll personally desalinated the Dead Sea in an act of such astonishment and ridiculousness that the two sides soon went on to live in harmony, forming a bipartisan government under the leadership of Grand Chancellor Carroll.
*-Texas achieved a score of negative 2 after a Longhorn player ran off his own bench and tackled his own punter in their own endzone late in the 4th quarter to prevent further embarassment attributable to Reggie Bush's five blocked punts of the evening (another example of the brilliance of the mind of Carroll, the coach having randomly inserted Bush into the 'Punt Block' team only that day)
Jive_Turkey
1,000+ Posts
Comedy Central hired the USC offense to do a sketch show that will replace The Chapelle Show.
"I'm Reggie Bush, *****!"
"I'm Reggie Bush, *****!"
bozo_casanova
2,500+ Posts
USC could have taken the persians at Thermopylae.
BigManOnCampus
< 25 Posts
It has just been unearthed by archeologists that the USC Trojans built the Great Pyramids during halftime in a game thousands of years ago
40Acres&aHorn
< 25 Posts
Noahs Ark was found buried 9 feet below the USC practice field
BernOrange
500+ Posts
This just in: Bill Nye The Science Guy just had a brain hemmorage while attempting to film an episode reducing USC's complex football schemes into an easy to understand format for the common man. PBS has cancelled his show indefinitely.
Naked Bongos
250+ Posts
Lifetime is running a program where Reggie Bush has to deal with the struggles of breast cancer. He wins by 7.5+.
WiscOwnsShoe
< 25 Posts
but, but, but ligers are bread for their skills in magic. I know, because they are pretty much my favorite animal.
orangebones
500+ Posts
that wasn't a chariot of fire that took Elijah up into the clouds, it was reggie bush
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