History Channel-USC v. Greatest armies in history

sooner_mustang86,

MSNBC is reporting this morning, in online "Breaking News," that Reggie Bush is on the scene and is placing his hands on each of the 39 victims. One-by-one, they are being healed! Details to follow.
 
This just in, Matt Leinhart has been granted another year of eligibility due to his addiction to Oreos as a young man. Leinhart was qouted as saying, "Oreoism is a disease that can crimple you mentally and physically. It isn't something you chose, it is something you are born with." Leinhart went on to thank teamate Reggie Bush for assisting him in overcoming his addiction.

In related news, Pete Carrol has made oreos healthy.
 
My wife made me end my ESPN Bowl Week viewing when I couldn't name the conference Tulsa was in. So she changes it to "Flip This House" on TLC and sure enough, it was Reggie Bush and Matt Leinert buying a $280,000 two-bedroom condo, working under their $500 budget and two-day timeline, and selling it for their asking price of $640k.
 
In the first written draft of The Exorcist, the famous line near the end was "The Power of Reggie compels you! The Power of Reggie compels you!"
 
Reggie Bush can Name That Tune without even hearing it.

And he doesn't even have to die to attain perfect consiousness, so he's got that going for him.
 
THIS JUST IN! The New Orleans Saints have traded all their draft picks for the next 15 years to the Houston Texans for the 1st pick in the 2006 draft. Anticipating that they will use the pick to draft Reggie Bush, the NFL has decided to award the next 15 Super Bowl trophies to the Saints!

As a side note, the Texans still find a way to go 2-14 during each of the next 3 seasons.
 
We finally found out that FEMA is not to blame for the flooding in New Orleans. FEMA was just busy trying to hold back the "flood" of calls coming in for Bush and Leinart regarding this year's NFL draft.
 
USC vs. the Holy Trinity

At first glance, one would think the godhead wins this easily. Yet on further examination we discover a few things. First, the Holy Spirit is a ghost for chrissakes, so Reggie Bush will run right through him. Second, Jesus Christ died and rose again. Sure that's a miracle, but he still died. Reggie Bush hasn't even died once. Finally, if it took God the Father seven days to create the heaven and earth, think about what Pete Caroll can do in one month!?

USC wins a close one.
 
Just imagine the 2008 U.S. 400-meter medley relay if it were Aaron Peirsol, Brendan Hansen, Ian Crocker and Reggie Bush.
 
THIS JUST IN
the toyota tacoma is dump truck, monster truck, cliff, and meteor proof but is not trojan proof. i repeat do not take on a trojan in your toyota tacoma
 
My dark elf battlemage, Saeros, summoned the spirit of Reggie Bush to slay the evil psionic Naga that haunted the underground caverns of the Dark Mire. His swift movements and unnatural agility kept Explictica, the unholy, occupied while our Paladins struck mighty blows against her....blinding her, while under the cover of an invisibility spell...then Reggie struck her down with lightning generated from his unnaturally quick reflexes and smote her remains across her bed of gold coins...which upon she slept nevermore....
 
In 1898 Col. John Patterson set out to build a bridge in the African region known as tsavo. His efforts were abrubtly halted bt two man eating lions who managed to kill 130 workers until Patterson wised up and hired the two most leathal hunters in Human history............Reggie Bush and Lindale White who ripped the lions apart with their bare hands.
 
A reporter from hollywood leaked word today that Sylvester Stalone will be producing and starring in one last Rocky movie "Rocky 6" Rumor has it that the final match will feature Rocky and Reggie Bush. Stalone initially planned on a script where he defeated Reggie Bush but test audeinces refused to believe that any mortal could defeat Reggie. Stalone wisely revised the script to where he gets pummeled in the first round and throws in the towel for fear of death.
 
FLASH: ESPN bought last year by USC. New name will be USCPN: university of so cal phuck news. Texans bring in pete carroll. he immediately trades all existing players and coaches for leinart, drafts bush and they appoint Hillary leader if all the world. She declares them THE BEST TEAM EVER. Bill says " i dunno hill, me and monica and her cigars were pretty tough. Had a bush on that team too." Reporting from the situation room, this is Wool Blitzed.
 
Pete Carroll created Hurricane Katrina to diminish LSU's chances of thwarting USC's bid for a 3-Pete.

He had Matt throw mercury pellets into the eye, then Reggie breathed on the storm to exponentially increase it's energy and size. Then to guide Katrina, he had the USC offensive line swim out into the Gulf and divert her to Louisiana and Mississippi.
 
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