History Channel-USC v. Greatest armies in history
- Thread starter Jive_Turkey
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12thStudStan
250+ Posts
Matt Leinart had the best Bar Mitzvah of all time and he is not even Jewish. His Bris, however, went total meshugass after all the blades broke off on his schmeckle.
bozo_casanova
2,500+ Posts
The rules may call it illegal motion, but Einstein called it the "Twin Paradox".
12thStudStan
250+ Posts
Pete Carroll coined the phrase "hey man" and just gave it to the entire world to use totally unrestricted.
RabidLonghorn
1,000+ Posts
Steven Speilberg has said Reggie is such a shining star all his movies from now on will have Reggie's name in them, his next movies:
Reggie Poppins
Regrasic Park
Reggie Poppins
Regrasic Park
12thStudStan
250+ Posts
The blades of grass on the playing field actually bow in awe before Reggie Bush, making his already incredible speed even more incredible. The grass secretly hopes that they are somehow related because of the "Bush" thing.
The USC team took on the ESPN college football analysts in true Greek Olympic spirit (sans clothing) and with nothing but a lathering of olive oil to separate the two teams. Although defeated badly in several wrestling matches, the ESPN crew insisted on further matches, which the USC team gladly agreed to .....
jayakris
2,500+ Posts
.. And the day arrives .. It is 12.06 am here in Irvine, California and I am getting the vision .. I was waiting to do the final post mentioning the gratest war in the world history, the Mahabharata War that defined the civilization as we know it now.
First the background for my vision ...
The year is some 15000 BC (the true age, not what the history books say, but that is a whole other story) ..
The place is Kurukshestra near the current day India-Pakistan border, in the vast area then known as Bharata (now India & Pakistan) where a great river Saraswathi then flowed (now the river flow is underground) and not far from Afghanistan (then known as Gandhara) ..
Five brothers, the Pandavas (Yudhishtira, Bhima, Arjuna, Nakula, Sahadeva) fought against their 100 half-brothers, the Kauravas (led by Duryodhana) .. That was for the right to rule the whole civilized world, then known as Bharata. The 5 Pandavas probably had a bit more of a claim to the land, and had a bit more of moral authority but this was a toss-up war.
God Krishna himself was on the earth at that time as a King of Dwaraka (current day Gujarat in India where the river Saraswathi then flowed to the ocean) .. Incidentally, the word "Krishna" means "Blue" .. God Krishna was an uncle to these 105 brothers .. He offered his army to one side and himself to the other side .. The 5 Pandavas selected Krishna and the others selected his army .. All kings of the world (then the civilization of human beings who came from Africa to the India-Afghanistan area had not spead to the rest of the world yet)
The war was won in the end by the Pandavas with the smaller army. The Kauravas had a 12 to 7 margin in military size (in terms of men, elephants, horses, etc), but Krishna himself counted for a lot on the other side - he was God after all ..
Now my vision ...
The great Mahabharata war is about to start and God Krishna is giving his speech "Bhagavat Gita" to force the greatest warrior Arjuna on the Pandava side to stop feeling miserable about setting out to kill his brothers.. How that was his "dharma" and how his "karma" was to end the world's misery by fighting the war and taking the country ..
My vision continues ..
Suddenly, the place is stunned. Loud strains of some music starts (so scary and shrill that an elephant's TUSK broke into two) .. Out of nowhere rode in a man on a horse, and following him were 70 odd group of people wearing some odd red and gold colors that nobody had seen around there ...
The horseman announced that they were known as "Trojans" and that they had come to fight both groups of brothers and their combined armies .. They wanted to rule the Bharata (the world) ...
Against the unknown enemy, the Mahabharata brothers united .. After all, their land was not going to be lost to somebody they did not even know about .. They had no doubt that their God Krishna would be able to win the war for them. But,
.. Little did they know that their might would be nothing against a diminutive warrior who would spring from any Bush anytime (he could kill from anywhere at anytime), or the man who could make Line-Art in the sky throwing flames, or the heavy running man who could erase any defending soldiers as easily as White-out ..
.. Nor did they know of the great powers of these Trojan's leader - Pete Carroll (really Pithru KaraaLa meaning the Father of Darkness)
.. God Krishna sat up .. HE knew the future and he knew that the Trojans had arrived from the future .. HE knew that Pithru Karaala had had 5 weeks, which is one more than he would ever need to get his men ready to take on all of the known world's armies, even if God Krishna was their commander.
God Krishna also knew HE had no answers. He (being God and all) knew the future. He saw the Mahabharata armies being trampled by the 70 men. He knew that the Mahabharata civilization would cease to exist, faced with the fury of the man(men?) from behind the bush, the line-art flame magician and the white-out runner - all following the schemes conjured up by the Pithru (who can beat the God Himself, given 4 weeks of time to prepare) ..
.. God Krishna knew that surrender was the only option to save the world as he knew it.
And he said, "I am everywhere, I am inside you, You are Me. So am I in these Trojans". They have come to prevent this war and distruction.
Krishna and the the whole armies of the world assembled there, joined together, and surrendered to the Trojans. Destruction was avoided. And God Krishna said,
"yada yadaahi dharmasya glaanir bhavati bhaarata ...
..
dharma samshtaapana aarthaayae sambhavaami yuge yuge"
(loosely translated, "whenever the world is about to go down the toilet, I will take my avatars and return to save the world")
Krishna then proceeded to reveal the truths. In the future there will be many a war. When excrement is about to hit the pankahs, God Krishna will return. He would be returning in the future as Pithru Karaala, some 15000 years later, but had decided to come early to help the surrender of the Mahabharata armies to avoid that war. In other words, He decided to come from the future to the past to counter himself (Sorry, dudes, you need to know Hinduism to understand that.. but try to stay with me there)
He also said, in the future there will be a war in a "place of the flower", when he will fight a war in the form of the Trojans against heathens led by a Krishna wannabe, prhaps a Brown-man (Krishna means blue color, and anybody who has other colors like Brown for instance are wannabes). He said that the world would hear through the clairvoyant airwaves coming out of a place called Bristol (for 5 full weeks) of the surrender of the Brown-man's paltry army, before it actually happens.
God Krishna would be the Pithru Karaala of the Trojans, who had once won the Mahabharata war without even fighting it .. The vision seemed to be going towards a smogged out city somewhere .. but,
My vision ended there!
Knowing of God Krishna though, I would say He could still change his mind and decide that his Godly powers would go to the "other side", turning Pithru Karaala into a mere mortal along with his prime warriors like the Bush-guy, the Line-Art flame thrower and the White-out runner.. How likely is that the Trojans will turn to mortals and lose a war at the "place of the flower"? .. I don't know .. Only God Krishna knows.
R.J.
First the background for my vision ...
The year is some 15000 BC (the true age, not what the history books say, but that is a whole other story) ..
The place is Kurukshestra near the current day India-Pakistan border, in the vast area then known as Bharata (now India & Pakistan) where a great river Saraswathi then flowed (now the river flow is underground) and not far from Afghanistan (then known as Gandhara) ..
Five brothers, the Pandavas (Yudhishtira, Bhima, Arjuna, Nakula, Sahadeva) fought against their 100 half-brothers, the Kauravas (led by Duryodhana) .. That was for the right to rule the whole civilized world, then known as Bharata. The 5 Pandavas probably had a bit more of a claim to the land, and had a bit more of moral authority but this was a toss-up war.
God Krishna himself was on the earth at that time as a King of Dwaraka (current day Gujarat in India where the river Saraswathi then flowed to the ocean) .. Incidentally, the word "Krishna" means "Blue" .. God Krishna was an uncle to these 105 brothers .. He offered his army to one side and himself to the other side .. The 5 Pandavas selected Krishna and the others selected his army .. All kings of the world (then the civilization of human beings who came from Africa to the India-Afghanistan area had not spead to the rest of the world yet)
The war was won in the end by the Pandavas with the smaller army. The Kauravas had a 12 to 7 margin in military size (in terms of men, elephants, horses, etc), but Krishna himself counted for a lot on the other side - he was God after all ..
Now my vision ...
The great Mahabharata war is about to start and God Krishna is giving his speech "Bhagavat Gita" to force the greatest warrior Arjuna on the Pandava side to stop feeling miserable about setting out to kill his brothers.. How that was his "dharma" and how his "karma" was to end the world's misery by fighting the war and taking the country ..
My vision continues ..
Suddenly, the place is stunned. Loud strains of some music starts (so scary and shrill that an elephant's TUSK broke into two) .. Out of nowhere rode in a man on a horse, and following him were 70 odd group of people wearing some odd red and gold colors that nobody had seen around there ...
The horseman announced that they were known as "Trojans" and that they had come to fight both groups of brothers and their combined armies .. They wanted to rule the Bharata (the world) ...
Against the unknown enemy, the Mahabharata brothers united .. After all, their land was not going to be lost to somebody they did not even know about .. They had no doubt that their God Krishna would be able to win the war for them. But,
.. Little did they know that their might would be nothing against a diminutive warrior who would spring from any Bush anytime (he could kill from anywhere at anytime), or the man who could make Line-Art in the sky throwing flames, or the heavy running man who could erase any defending soldiers as easily as White-out ..
.. Nor did they know of the great powers of these Trojan's leader - Pete Carroll (really Pithru KaraaLa meaning the Father of Darkness)
.. God Krishna sat up .. HE knew the future and he knew that the Trojans had arrived from the future .. HE knew that Pithru Karaala had had 5 weeks, which is one more than he would ever need to get his men ready to take on all of the known world's armies, even if God Krishna was their commander.
God Krishna also knew HE had no answers. He (being God and all) knew the future. He saw the Mahabharata armies being trampled by the 70 men. He knew that the Mahabharata civilization would cease to exist, faced with the fury of the man(men?) from behind the bush, the line-art flame magician and the white-out runner - all following the schemes conjured up by the Pithru (who can beat the God Himself, given 4 weeks of time to prepare) ..
.. God Krishna knew that surrender was the only option to save the world as he knew it.
And he said, "I am everywhere, I am inside you, You are Me. So am I in these Trojans". They have come to prevent this war and distruction.
Krishna and the the whole armies of the world assembled there, joined together, and surrendered to the Trojans. Destruction was avoided. And God Krishna said,
"yada yadaahi dharmasya glaanir bhavati bhaarata ...
..
dharma samshtaapana aarthaayae sambhavaami yuge yuge"
(loosely translated, "whenever the world is about to go down the toilet, I will take my avatars and return to save the world")
Krishna then proceeded to reveal the truths. In the future there will be many a war. When excrement is about to hit the pankahs, God Krishna will return. He would be returning in the future as Pithru Karaala, some 15000 years later, but had decided to come early to help the surrender of the Mahabharata armies to avoid that war. In other words, He decided to come from the future to the past to counter himself (Sorry, dudes, you need to know Hinduism to understand that.. but try to stay with me there)
He also said, in the future there will be a war in a "place of the flower", when he will fight a war in the form of the Trojans against heathens led by a Krishna wannabe, prhaps a Brown-man (Krishna means blue color, and anybody who has other colors like Brown for instance are wannabes). He said that the world would hear through the clairvoyant airwaves coming out of a place called Bristol (for 5 full weeks) of the surrender of the Brown-man's paltry army, before it actually happens.
God Krishna would be the Pithru Karaala of the Trojans, who had once won the Mahabharata war without even fighting it .. The vision seemed to be going towards a smogged out city somewhere .. but,
My vision ended there!
Knowing of God Krishna though, I would say He could still change his mind and decide that his Godly powers would go to the "other side", turning Pithru Karaala into a mere mortal along with his prime warriors like the Bush-guy, the Line-Art flame thrower and the White-out runner.. How likely is that the Trojans will turn to mortals and lose a war at the "place of the flower"? .. I don't know .. Only God Krishna knows.
R.J.
Texas Renegade
100+ Posts
Pete Carrol Knows who Kaiser Socee is.
Reggie Bush knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop.
Reggie Bush knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop.
Hello, I'm Ken Burns.The four most important contributions the United States has made to the world are the Civil War, baseball, jazz and the University of Southern California Trojans.
Now, in an unprecedented fourth part of a documentary trilogy, I am proud, in conjunction with PBS, to present my 121-part series, "The Trojans." It it, I'll explore the phenomenal, never-ending rise of USC and what it means to be an American living in this awesome presence. How USC healed the wounds of 9-11 by giving America a force behind which to rally. And where a generation of children named Pete, Matt, Reggie and LenDale can return for inspiration and answers. Here's a sample from episode 97, titled: "The Hand of God."
----------------
(title card reading "The Hand of God" is shown while in the background a single piano plays a slow, moving version of "Fight On.")
Narrator (Charlton Heston): In the sixth week of the 2005 season, the winning streak at 27, Pete Carroll took his Trojans into South Bend, Indiana, for an epic matchup with another fabled program, No-truh Dame. The Fighting Irish were beginning a renewed rise to power under Charlie Weis — like Carroll, a coach with National Football League roots and therefore unbeatable with sufficient time to prepare for an opponent — and fought to a 31-28 lead in the closing minutes. But a clutch fourth-down pass from Matt Leinart to Dwayne Jarrett kept USC alive, and after a Leinart fumble near the goal line fortuitously rolled out of bounds, Carroll and Leinart eschewed what would have been a tying field goal, opting instead for a risky quarterback sneak. Leinart's initial surge was stopped, but suddenly, from behind, he received the impetus needed to tumble into the end zone, a winner again.
Diego Maradona (translated from Spanish; voice over replays from 32 angles of the winning touchdown): I later spoke with the one they call Reggie Bush and told him, "No longer will they associate me with 'The Hand of God.' It is that which you placed on Matt Leinart's backside that will long be remembered as the true 'Hand of God.' For you, sir, are a God among mere men."
Narrator (Charlton Heston): While critics labeled Bush's intervention "illegal" and "against the rules," Bush, Leinart and the Trojans knew better. The only intervention (long pause) was divine. From that moment forward, the Trojans' place in history, already solid, was secure.
----------------
Please join me, Ken Burns, in conjunction with PBS, General Motors, the ESPN family of networks and viewers like you, as we present "The Trojans." Thank you.
Now, in an unprecedented fourth part of a documentary trilogy, I am proud, in conjunction with PBS, to present my 121-part series, "The Trojans." It it, I'll explore the phenomenal, never-ending rise of USC and what it means to be an American living in this awesome presence. How USC healed the wounds of 9-11 by giving America a force behind which to rally. And where a generation of children named Pete, Matt, Reggie and LenDale can return for inspiration and answers. Here's a sample from episode 97, titled: "The Hand of God."
----------------
(title card reading "The Hand of God" is shown while in the background a single piano plays a slow, moving version of "Fight On.")
Narrator (Charlton Heston): In the sixth week of the 2005 season, the winning streak at 27, Pete Carroll took his Trojans into South Bend, Indiana, for an epic matchup with another fabled program, No-truh Dame. The Fighting Irish were beginning a renewed rise to power under Charlie Weis — like Carroll, a coach with National Football League roots and therefore unbeatable with sufficient time to prepare for an opponent — and fought to a 31-28 lead in the closing minutes. But a clutch fourth-down pass from Matt Leinart to Dwayne Jarrett kept USC alive, and after a Leinart fumble near the goal line fortuitously rolled out of bounds, Carroll and Leinart eschewed what would have been a tying field goal, opting instead for a risky quarterback sneak. Leinart's initial surge was stopped, but suddenly, from behind, he received the impetus needed to tumble into the end zone, a winner again.
Diego Maradona (translated from Spanish; voice over replays from 32 angles of the winning touchdown): I later spoke with the one they call Reggie Bush and told him, "No longer will they associate me with 'The Hand of God.' It is that which you placed on Matt Leinart's backside that will long be remembered as the true 'Hand of God.' For you, sir, are a God among mere men."
Narrator (Charlton Heston): While critics labeled Bush's intervention "illegal" and "against the rules," Bush, Leinart and the Trojans knew better. The only intervention (long pause) was divine. From that moment forward, the Trojans' place in history, already solid, was secure.
----------------
Please join me, Ken Burns, in conjunction with PBS, General Motors, the ESPN family of networks and viewers like you, as we present "The Trojans." Thank you.
HornsForever'93
1,000+ Posts
THE TROJAN EMPIRE like all prior empires bathed in their decadence and self love meet their DEMISE in unexpected fashion. As all prior empires of gold, a hungry stronger army arose to CONQUER them!!! As history so eloquently notes, the Riches and Worship shall end swiftly and as sharp as a blade (in this case Horn)!!!!!!! Then they shall be forgotten like the dusts in the wind!!!!
Discovery Civilization presents The Trojan War
Typical reading of the Homeric events from Odysseus to Priam, the horse etc. right up until the surprise ending where it is revealed that right before the the city is sacked, and through a bizarre lotto system involving nude yodeling and group bestiality, the best 50 warriors of Troy are sent through an Apollonian time portal 3,000 years into the future to play American football for Coach Pete Caroll where for 35 straight games they dominate the college football landscape. Experts from the U.S. Army War College and West Point are brought in to verify that the final Greek assault would certainly have been otherwise repelled. Matt Drudge is interviewed to bolster the speculation that the Trojans will return to their own time after annihilating the Texas Longhorns and securing a "threepeat" for Coach Carroll just in time to save Troy. The program ends with Stephen Hawking confirming that the dictates of time travel would result in an instantaneous alteration of the Homeric epic to which all of humanity would remain oblivious.
Typical reading of the Homeric events from Odysseus to Priam, the horse etc. right up until the surprise ending where it is revealed that right before the the city is sacked, and through a bizarre lotto system involving nude yodeling and group bestiality, the best 50 warriors of Troy are sent through an Apollonian time portal 3,000 years into the future to play American football for Coach Pete Caroll where for 35 straight games they dominate the college football landscape. Experts from the U.S. Army War College and West Point are brought in to verify that the final Greek assault would certainly have been otherwise repelled. Matt Drudge is interviewed to bolster the speculation that the Trojans will return to their own time after annihilating the Texas Longhorns and securing a "threepeat" for Coach Carroll just in time to save Troy. The program ends with Stephen Hawking confirming that the dictates of time travel would result in an instantaneous alteration of the Homeric epic to which all of humanity would remain oblivious.
bozo_casanova
2,500+ Posts
But they can't beat the Texas Longhorns.
HOOK 'EM
HOOK 'EM
MajorTexasFan
100+ Posts
Hey, just caught a great special on ABC - apparently the TEXAS LONGHORNS beat USC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
uisge beatha
1,000+ Posts
OK, perhaps they would have lost to the Romans ÷÷÷
orange avenger
25+ Posts
False alarm. It turns out that Reggie Bush is just another 82-yard back.
ColumbusHornsFan
25+ Posts
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