My toaster.....****UPDATE****

Mrs. Macanudo, I hope you are on the road to recovery. I trust the MP's hopefully resolving this problem will speed your recovery. I do thank you for sharing the story.
 
the toaster was not given to her by a grandpa or anything right?

i have this badass metal old fan from the 20's that was my grandparents... sure it is old, but it is a heavy duty badass that i love and well i would be pissed if someone walked into my house and took it!!

but on a serious note.... this ***** is batty!
 
Yes, LTC (LtC) is Lieutenant Colonel (also called "Light Bird" by some).

The story is completely enthralling. This is the ONLY thread on HF my wife cares one bit about & I've been reading it to her (the updates from today & responses, anyhow) while I sit on the couch & relax from a long day's roof.

To clarify, you don't really have any idea what happened to her toaster while you were on med leave, right? Yeah, didn't think you did. She's just batshit crazy.

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please tell me that this isn't over just yet. i need more.

mrs. macanudo, you really need to re-consider your transfer to oregon or wherever the **** you're going. there is no way there is a place this funny anywhere else in the army
 
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Allsome. I can't believe she called the MPs...this lady was a LTC? That's damned scary.

This must continue...I don't know if I could handle Rome and toastergate ending the same week.
 
I had a Sailor tell me that life in the Navy is a lot like Down Periscope than Crimson Tide. I didn't believe him until now. You should get her toaster and shove it up her sniz and then call her "ToastDog."
 
Now is not the time to rest on your laurels, it is time to go on the offensive. I suggest having one of your military electronics experts enter her office at night and hide some tiny speakers in the light fixture in the ceiling, connected to an impossible to find endless loop cassette player, which will play, over and over and over the following lyrics:

: I like bread and butter,
: I like toast and jam,
: That's what my baby feeds me,
: I'm her loving man.

: He likes bread and butter,
: he likes toast and jam,
: That's what his baby feeds him,
: he's her loving man.

: She don't cook mashed potatoes,
: she don't cook T-bone steaks,
: Don't feed me peanut butter,
: she knows that I can't take.

: He likes bread and butter,
: he likes toast and jam,
: That's what his baby feeds him,
: he's her loving man.

: Got home early one morning,
: much to my surprise,
: She was eating chicken and dumplings
: with some other guy.

: No more bread and butter,
: no more toast and jam,
: I found my baby eating
: with some other man.

You could also leave the song on her answering machine and put an 8 track of it in her car 8 track player. That should square things up nicely.
 
I wonder if she yells profanities at her new $60 toaster, locks it in a chest, and makes it play the piano until it messes itself...

thanks for the story..hope you are in good health...

How much longer will you be in the Army?
 
So this may seem like a rather insignificant question now, but does anyone enjoy a toasty bagel, or even a charred slice of bread in your office anymore?
 
Does toaster lady have the flying toasters screensaver? Or better yet, have everyone in the office put it as their screensaver...just to have her flip out some more. This thread is allsome.
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Allright, this is the last thing I am going to post....

Toaster lady comes up to me in the breakroom this morning declaring a truce. She says she realizes that this toaster issue got out of hand. She wants to make it up to me by personally planning my going away party.

Everyone up here gets an award when they leave. Its basically a self congratulatory award for making it through your tour. It is accompanied by an "office party" though anyone in the medical company is welcome. Obviously, some have more people show up than others.....anyway....

She and I sit down at the table as she begins to ask questions....do I want to go to a restaraunt or have a potluck, do I want it during lunch, in the evening, on the weekend?
I pleasantly answer all her questions and she seems very proud of herself.

Finally, she asks what I would like for a "going away gift". I shake my head in disbelief and say, "a toaster".

She ran off crying and now I don't think I am going to have a party....
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Just when you think this thread can't get any better...someone calls the MP's.
Everyone putting the flying toaster screen saver on would be hysterical.
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Okay, that last little shot warms my cold, black heart. Nicely done Mrs. Mac.

But the majority of this thread, while immensely entertaining, and I thank the Macs for that, has just left me angry at the wussy boss. I would've been going Ezekial 25:17 on that woman if I were her boss.

Again, nice parting shot Mrs. Mac. That was allsome.
 
Yes, by popular demand, this saga, if it ever ends, will go to Classics. BTW, y'all should use the "Rate The Thread" voting system on posts. Threads with high ratings will not get deleted.
 
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