My toaster.....****UPDATE****

I toasted a bagel this morning in the four wide slot toaster that we have at work and it made me think of you Mrs. M. And then it made me crack up because that lady is so batshit crazy.
 
This thread is ********! I demand some kind of update, even if it's a "The damn old toaster still sits in the break area...but its day is coming!"
 
Well, I didn't think it could get any more ridiculous, but it has.

We took the #@year old toaster out to lunch with us, but none of us had the heart to beat it to death after reading the "veteran" posts on this thread. We still have it in our possesion (well my sergeant does, he won't give it back).

However, this afternoon when I returned from lunch, there were TWO toasters sitting on my desk. One was my old toaster under about 3 rolls of Duct tape holding the crack together. Next to it was a brand new toaster not even out of the box.

The coworker had attached a note that said, "Please come see me as soon as possible! I have an absolutely HECTIC schedule this afternoon and I really need to talk to you!" (Her idea of hectic is 2 patients in 3.5 hours)...anyway...

I walked into her room and said, "what's up". She explained this:

She tried to get the cracked toaster fixed, but every place she took it to said it would cost more to replace the casing than it would just to buy a new toaster. So, she decided that since the "cooking part thingy" still worked, she would just tape over the crack with duct tape (with THREE freak'n rolls of tape). But then, she began to feel bad that they could not fix it, so she went to Sears to buy a new toaster. Unfortunately, she couldn't find the same toaster there. So, her solution was to purchase a very nice kitchen aid toaster for 60 bucks. Since my toaster was probably only worth 5 bucks, I now owe her 55 dollars. She takes checks. I said that I did not want to buy her kitchenaid toaster and I'll just take back my duct tape paperweight. She asked why I was being so rude since she went out of her way to fix/replace my toaster. I explained that the toaster wouldn't have broken in the first place had she not called in a "tip" to the Fire Marshall hotline on a renegade toaster.

She claimed she was just doing what she thought was safest for our office workers and the community. and "as a Christian woman of great faith" she "felt she was protecting lives".....

you can't make this kinda **** up....saving lives??

Anyway, I now have some sort of sensitivity conference at 2 with my supervisor. This is a crock.
 
Veteran toaster or not, that thing would be in a million pieces right now. I find it unbelievable she would go buy a $60 toaster to replace yours and expect you to pay $55 for it. I may need some of the sensitivity training right after I told her to put the brand new Kitchenaid toaster where the sun never shines.
 
[stanley] i got them a toaster, they called the wedding off and gave the toaster back to me, i tried to return to the store and they said they no longer sold tha kind of toaster, so now my house has got two toasters [/stanley]
stanleytoastermrsmac.jpg
 
You should have followed my advice. Right now she'd be thinking all was right with the world, and then one day BLAM - revenge!! Now she's expecting it, and that's not as fun.
 
This is easily the funniest thread I have ever read on hornfans that didn't involve sex, ****, or hitting a deaf mute in the junk. bravo. classics.

And I had a toaster oven my soph year, and used it extensively for corndogs, bagel bites, hot pockets etc. They are so much better than out of a microwave. You could just use the oven, but the toaster oven heas up so much faster so cooking takes less time.
 
That's it. I'm going to get hold of that toaster. There's nothing like a dirty diaper stuffed inside a toaster and the plugged in. At least I assume there can't be.
 
WOOOAHHH. Wait a minute here. Mrs. M. Did you say "patients"? You wrote that this wacked out toasterlady has "patients"? So...is she a doctor? A shrink? This gets better. Toasterlady was smart enough to acquire patients, yet she is lacking enough brain cells to get all bent out of shape about your toaster?

Who supplies the kitchen in your office area? I suggest whomever does, you become chummy with them and make sure the kitchen area is chock full of toaster strudel, pop tarts, eggos, bagels, bread for toasting and any other food item that must be toasted. Toast the hell outta everything.
Take that toaster of hers, even if the "food thingy" works and put it in your garage. This is getting better. I cannot even go into our office kitchen without thinking about your toaster--we have a really great one. It's our microwave that stinks!
yippee.gif
 
Let me get this straight, she feels guilty that she can't completely fix your toaster so she gets a new one for you and tells you to hand over a check to cover 95% of the expense? Wow. That is crazy! You should break her jaw, fix it, and then send her the bill for your services in fixing her face! Same thing. She then tells you that you are being rude? And then tells on you again for some BS reason and you have to sensitivity training? You should treat her like Jesus did the money-changers. This isn't even funny anymore. I feel sorry that you have to work with these people.
 
That must be a hell of a long sensitivity training session.

At least post the pic of the duct taped toaster. That's a guaranteed sig for somebody.
 
I'm 4000 miles away and this pisses me off. I can only imagine how angry you are. You aren't going to be there much longer anyway. I would make it as uncomfortable as possible with her.
 
Also, to reiterate and get clarification from the question above: This lady is a doctor? If so, this just gets better and better...

BTW this and the "Something about Mary" thread on 3:16 are the first two threads I check when I log in...good stuff.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Weekly Prediction Contest

SEC CHAMPIONSHIP
Predict HORNS-DAWGS
Sat, Dec 7 • 3:00 PM on ABC
* * *
SEC Championship Website

Prediction Results Threads

2024 Schedules

Back
Top