HornGrandioso
500+ Posts
If someone pulled this **** in my office, said individual would be ridiculed until he or she resigned or took his or her own life. Go get the classified ads ASAP! Get out of there! Don't let their idiocy taint you.
My toaster.....****UPDATE****
- Thread starter Mrs.Macanudo
- Start date
Turn the toaster setting to high (or very dark) and insert a pop tart. Repeat toasting until it catches fire. Call the fire marshal.
Check this out
Check this out
CleverNickname
500+ Posts
Mrs.Macanudo
25+ Posts
Geez, I never knew my post would get so much attention.....
Well, I was waiting for her to bring my toaster back this morning. My boss talked to her last week and then went on leave. Apparently, he told her to give me my toaster back and then came and told me that when she gives it back, I need to take it home. She did not bring it in today because, "she left it in the car over the weekend and the cheap plastic casing cracked because of the cold air" she is now going to "have it repaired right away and return it to me as a good as new".
My Sergeant has oh, wait...."someone" removed the !% year old toaster from the breakroom and then placed a Louisville slugger up against my door this morning. I think we are going to have some pinata fun at lunch today!
I'm gonna go medieval on its ***....sometimes its good to be a gangsta!
There you go.
Well, I was waiting for her to bring my toaster back this morning. My boss talked to her last week and then went on leave. Apparently, he told her to give me my toaster back and then came and told me that when she gives it back, I need to take it home. She did not bring it in today because, "she left it in the car over the weekend and the cheap plastic casing cracked because of the cold air" she is now going to "have it repaired right away and return it to me as a good as new".
My Sergeant has oh, wait...."someone" removed the !% year old toaster from the breakroom and then placed a Louisville slugger up against my door this morning. I think we are going to have some pinata fun at lunch today!
I'm gonna go medieval on its ***....sometimes its good to be a gangsta!
There you go.
Mike_Tyson
500+ Posts
Your boss needs to tell her, "See you next Tuesday!"
random horn
250+ Posts
you should have your coworker charged with theft
Mrs.Macanudo
25+ Posts
Oh.....we're not quite done yet....
You're going to hurt the toaster?
Think of how the toaster feels. It's been through two Gulf Wars, 9/11, and quietly served its country without asking for anything more than a little respect and appreciation. But, oh, since it has a little rust on it and you can't warm up your hippie food, let's kick it out and replace it with one a' them fancy new toasters -- the "me generation" toasters.
Que triste.
And what does this new toaster do except increase energy use, and as such increase our dependency on foreign oil? And that toaster was probably made in another country by one of them dang foreigners.
I say "no" -- "no" to disrespect to our veterans, "no" to terrorism, and "yes" to the good ol' U. S. of A.
Think of how the toaster feels. It's been through two Gulf Wars, 9/11, and quietly served its country without asking for anything more than a little respect and appreciation. But, oh, since it has a little rust on it and you can't warm up your hippie food, let's kick it out and replace it with one a' them fancy new toasters -- the "me generation" toasters.
Que triste.
And what does this new toaster do except increase energy use, and as such increase our dependency on foreign oil? And that toaster was probably made in another country by one of them dang foreigners.
I say "no" -- "no" to disrespect to our veterans, "no" to terrorism, and "yes" to the good ol' U. S. of A.
KaiserSoze
250+ Posts
bigup2dahorns
250+ Posts
sig check
Mike_Tyson
500+ Posts
S197HQQKEM
500+ Posts
accuratehorn
10,000+ Posts
I believe I have just witnessed the birth of the People for Ethical Treatment of Toasters. History has again been made on HornFans.
dougiefresh
< 25 Posts
here's a way to kill 2 birds with one stone....
problem #1 - the fire hazard
solution - dump it in the toilet
problem #2 - exacting revenge for your lost toaster (publicly)
solution - after completing task #1, take a giant Monday morning dump on her antique p.o.s.
problem solved and you will become a legend without ever admitting to it....
oh, and in order for this to work effectively you must post a pic of the carnage on this site
this is guaranteed to work, ....
ON A RELATED NOTE:
when i was in college and living in the Jester dormitories, my roomate left UT midway thru our soph year and i got assigned this tool who had a frickin wind up, TICKIN' like the Tell Tale Heart, alarm clock that i hated with a passion...it keeping me awake at night.....
so on a daily basis, i would jam a knife into some little slot it had in the back so it wouldn't appear tampered with...and i tell you, it wouldn't work for a few days, then out of nowhere that P.O.S would just begin ticking again (repeat process many times until i finally killed it...)
never got along with this guy, but during grad ceremonies he said "I knew you were messing with my alarm clock and broke it..." to which i replied.... "...so what, i hated that f@$king thing more than i hated your ***..."
had i known then what i know now i would have dropped it in the toilet and dropped a big deuce on it and fished it out with a hanger or something and put it back on his shelf.....
problem #1 - the fire hazard
solution - dump it in the toilet
problem #2 - exacting revenge for your lost toaster (publicly)
solution - after completing task #1, take a giant Monday morning dump on her antique p.o.s.
problem solved and you will become a legend without ever admitting to it....
oh, and in order for this to work effectively you must post a pic of the carnage on this site
this is guaranteed to work, ....
ON A RELATED NOTE:
when i was in college and living in the Jester dormitories, my roomate left UT midway thru our soph year and i got assigned this tool who had a frickin wind up, TICKIN' like the Tell Tale Heart, alarm clock that i hated with a passion...it keeping me awake at night.....
so on a daily basis, i would jam a knife into some little slot it had in the back so it wouldn't appear tampered with...and i tell you, it wouldn't work for a few days, then out of nowhere that P.O.S would just begin ticking again (repeat process many times until i finally killed it...)
never got along with this guy, but during grad ceremonies he said "I knew you were messing with my alarm clock and broke it..." to which i replied.... "...so what, i hated that f@$king thing more than i hated your ***..."
had i known then what i know now i would have dropped it in the toilet and dropped a big deuce on it and fished it out with a hanger or something and put it back on his shelf.....
dougiefresh
< 25 Posts
i just thought of another thing that would be cool....
sprinkle a bunch of pot in the toaster first thing in the morning so when someone goes to toast something the whole place will smell like weed...then call the cops and since it will be in HER toaster she might possibly be charged with possession
(only proceed with this tactic if you are NOT a pothead as everyone might get tested...)
another idea comes from Brick, just put a shitload of mayonaise in that bad boy....game over
sprinkle a bunch of pot in the toaster first thing in the morning so when someone goes to toast something the whole place will smell like weed...then call the cops and since it will be in HER toaster she might possibly be charged with possession
(only proceed with this tactic if you are NOT a pothead as everyone might get tested...)
another idea comes from Brick, just put a shitload of mayonaise in that bad boy....game over
Mike_Tyson
500+ Posts
UPDATE!
MizzouSnives
500+ Posts
update, please. i care about that little toaster waaaaay too much.
This post should be moved to classics someday. For now it is highty entertaining. Mrs. M. I feel for you. You really need to get back at that ***** in your office. But how? Hmmmmmm.You must be sneaky and cunning. How late do you work? You MUST get rid of that woman's toaster without anyone suspecting you took it. You must get it and toss it into a trash can far far away from where you work. Then about two days later bring in some bread to "toast". Look around and say "What happened to the toaster?" "I need to make toast"! Let's see what happens then...
We all work with the worst--but that toasterlady is the worst of the worst!
We all work with the worst--but that toasterlady is the worst of the worst!
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