I love virtually everything you said, but I'm pulling this quote for further discussion. I want Deez, Jr. to have an open mind in general, but I'll admit that I don't want his mind open on everything.
I'm always outwardly respectful of other people and their beliefs and lifestyles. For example, as much as I detest this gender fad (and it is a fad and a stupid one), I wouldn't intentionally call a "trans-woman" a man to his face. I wouldn't tell a non-Christian that he's going to hell. (To be clear, I will not deny my faith, and if pressed or asked explicitly, I will say yes. However, I won't say it unprovoked.) Why not? Because it's rude and counterproductive. However, that treatment is for the outside world.
I have different responsibilities in my own home. It's my job to teach Deez, Jr. the truth and solid values, even if it would be rude to do so in public. We're a Christian home. We go to church. We pray and read the Bible. We believe that a marriage is a lifetime, monogamous commitment between a man and a woman, ordained by God for the purpose of building families. We don't believe that putting on a dress and wearing makeup makes you woman or that having short hair and wearing pants makes you man, even if you're delusional enough to think otherwise. We're Americans, and we believe in the principles that were written into the US Constitution and the Declaration of Independence and think the fact that it is written rather than pulled out of some judge's *** makes a difference. To be perfectly honest, I don't want his mind open to some other faith, national loyalty, values, or lifestyle. If he happens to choose something else as an adult, I'll love him just the same, but it'll be with my fervent and explicit disapproval. That doesn't mean I'll hassle him about it, because that won't help, but he will know where I stand and why.
Of course, this begs the question of if this stuff is so good, then why be so lopsided and arguably even unfair in my approach? Why not let him see Christianity and Americanism on the merits and choose it and its lifestyle without influence as many passive, candy-*** parents nowadays do (which is how we got Millennials)? The reason why is that I know that what comes at him in school and in the popular culture will not afford that same courtesy. Our faith and values are going to be crapped on at school and in the popular culture as the "progressive" Left tries to fill his mind with their garbage. He's going to be told to reject that stuff and substitute it with an unquestioning loyalty and acceptance of government and to global citizenship. That was true when I was in school, and it's far more true now. That crap will come up when he gets older, and when it does, I'm going to slap it down very hard and explain to him the corrupt and destructive agendas behind it. He's taught to be respectful to his teachers at all times, but he will also be taught that if what his teacher says conflicts with what he's taught at home, he should and must reject it.
And I get it. That's harsh and seems out of character for me. However, like I've said before, it's all about the roles that we play in certain situations. Same thing applied professionally. There are positions I took on things as a lawyer that I wouldn't take or accept as a judge because my role was different. A lawyer is there to zealously pursue the interests of his client. A judges is there to zealously apply the law as it's written. Likewise, my role as a respectful and open minded adult in public is different from my role as a father.
I do fully understand that an open-mind is a slippery slope. Implicit in that comment is my definition of an open-mind:
1) Not indulging your base emotional instincts
2) Taking your time to confirm the information
3) Don't force a reconciliation to a desired truth that you currently believe
4) Do not be afraid of the truth no matter where it lands
5) Be curious
6) Do not be rigid by understanding your belief may be too literal
7) Faith is a choice at some point when you cannot prove it scientifically.
8) Understand your place of birth and parental beliefs may have greatly impacted what you believe to be true
9) Empathy is a great equalizer
10) Kindness in manner; never stubborn or defensive; always willing to listen; do not judge if you see no harm being done to others; understand that what is your truth may be in fact your hang-up
I just typed that up off the top of my head. I did not provide a list such as this to my children. I think they see where I'm coming from when we speak.
As far as Christianity goes, my children and I are being oppressed by their mother who unfortunately is mentally ill. We don't know what happened to her. Long story short, I divorced her and she appealed all the way to SCOTUS on the grounds that the no-fault divorce laws of Texas infringed upon her religious freedom; i.e. a blood covenant made with me to be bound for life. She lost her appeals and is now telling everyone that we are still legally married. I've had to send her a cease and desist letter from my attorney and she responded with an FU couched in biblical rhetoric the likes of which no one has ever seen.
My girlfriend thinks that my children and I are suffering some level of PTSD because of this situation which has plagued us for a very long time. I am only telling you this because it has greatly impacted our faith. We are TRIGGERED (and I mean it) anytime we hear someone lead off with, "Jesus is my Lord and Savior." We want to run away.
But are we failing in our beliefs because of our trauma? Maybe so. We are trying to look at it as her failure and not the failure of Christianity. But the point is that one's experiences can greatly impact their emotions and their point of view. So if you are reading this, you have a point of view about my situation (and I'm telling you the absolute truth) and I have a point of view.
How do we define an open mind now? I suppose one would understand why I have a problem with aggressive evangelical Christianity. I suppose one would now understand why I call myself a Democrat because the evangelical wing of the Republican Party is very distressing to me because I've faced the extreme end of it first hand. So you might conclude, I don't blame the guy for feeling the way he does. But it doesn't mean abortion should be legal either just because of my troubles.
In my view, that discussion can be secular because even wild-eyed Christian hating atheists agree that, "Thou Shalt Not Kill."
But if I'm wrong about Jesus (meaning the Bible is literally true) and my ex-wife is correct about the blood covenant, then am I going to burn in hell? I haven't rejected Christ but like I told her former pastor (who has been a great comfort to me as he has tried to counsel her to let me go), "I'll never step foot into a church again except for a wedding or a funeral."
So do I have an open mind or not? I don't know. But I am open to others who have problems with faith, religion and the manner of true believers.
I. Get. It.
I don't think you're like that. I just think you're sharing your personal beliefs without being preachy or aggressive and I appreciate someone who can say what they believe without being oppressive.