My Final Adios

Shane,
It was your dad's posts on 360 that showed me just how much I really didn't know about UT football, and they taught to look at our team in a different light. That new perspective has helped me gain greater appreciation of the game itself, and as far as analysis of UT goes, he helped me remove my orange tinted glasses. And I find I am even more attuned and attached to our favorite team now that I can see it clearly, warts and all. That's a gift worth keeping.

I'll raise a hefty shot of Single Malt in your honor tonight, Neil. Adios, and vaya con Dios.
 
Man, it is powerful reading this thread and witnessing how many folks Neil affected. It's kind of moving, actually. I am certainly no different than those who have posted before me. I consider him to be the greatest poster I have ever read on any forum in regard to any subject, and I am not big on doling out praise like that for the purposes of mollifying folks. He was simply the brightest, most fascinating poster I ever read.

Beyond all of that, I feel excessively fortunate to have gotten to know Neil, and even you, Shane. The past year has been a less interesting one for me as a UT fan, and not really due to anything with the team, but due to you guys not being around, and having a vague belief in why. I miss y'all, and all the pre-game and post-game discussions I'm used to having with the two of you. Nonetheless, I am glad to have had the time in knowing Neil that I did. He was brilliant, hilarious, and you always knew where you stood with him. In short, I viewed him as great fun and his visits to town were truly tremendous times for me.

As a poster, Neil influenced me more than anyone else I read, and by a wide margin. Certainly, that probably casts a negative light on his contributions to Longhorn Netdom, but what can you do? Ha. His refreshing style of taking a position, supporting it with facts, and then asking for discourse was one I admired and tried to adopt as I started posting. His willingness to respond to all posters who stated anything besides a flame on his threads was an incredibly strong characteristic to me. I have always tried to respond to people who are kind enough to respond to a thread of mine, giving me the gift of discourse from the Internet abyss and the real world doldrums. My habits and style have become distorted over time and are a shell of their former selves. They suffer woefully when I compare them to those I came to know and understand when watching him post, and others like yourself. For that I'm thankful, as posting more like him and others is still something I aspire towards.
 
sl express, thanks for sharing the loss of your father with us. thanks to phxhorn for all he shared with us as well.
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Wow, where to start. I'm not sure how many times I've had the chance to meet up with Neil over the last few years, but I'll savor each one for the rest of my life.

I'm not sure what it was about Neil that I liked the most. There was no ******** with him, just the bottom line and I always loved that about him and I think that's one of the reasons why we always got along so well.

Katie was dead on when she said that the highlights of the spring and two-a-day schedules were the visits from Neil (and Shane).

In fact, when Neil wasn't around, we were talking about the memories of when he was. I know it will be like that from this point forward.

I don't have much family, but I certainly considered Neil to be as much of a crazy old uncle as anyone I've ever known.

I would say that I'll miss him dearly, but the truth of the matter is that I've laughed about 1/2 dozen times in the last five minutes in just thinking about him. How can you really miss someone that will always be with you?

Neil Kidwell wasn't just a poster or some Internet legend - he was family... for all of us.

I wish I could share my favorite memories with Neil on this board, but there are somethings that you simply must take to the grave.

He wouldn't want to read through all of this mushy stroll down memory lane ********, but damnit, if there's a way to dig at a guy in the afterlife, then this thread will surely do it.

It makes me smile just to think of the look he'd have on his face.
 
SLX - I seldom post on this board, but I have been reading it for years. Your father's threads always interested me, and I will miss them. As a 62 year-old connoisseur of J&B, Marlboro's, Ruth's Chris, and Longhorn football, I felt some kinship with him. I usually didn't post on his threads as he had said all that needed to be said. I had the same feeling for my own Father that you do, and I lost him when I was 27. I have missed him a lot, but I thank God that he was my Father. As you deal with your loss, I suggest that you do the same, and then try to be the best father that you can be yourself. I have, and I hope that my son and daughter realize that. Time will help.
 
I can't say anything that hasn't already been said, but I know I will miss him. I didn't know the man at all, but it's amazing what a forum such as this can do. When I read about him passing away, I really felt like I lost a friend.

As others have posted, I, too, always scanned down the authors of the list of topics. When Phxhorn was spotted, it was always one of the first threads I visted on the given day.

Thanks for posting, SLX.
 
I remember lurking for months on the old 360 site before I ever had the nerve to post. The reason? Because people like Neil, Shane, horndfl, and several others held everyone to such a high standard. I was afraid to be wrong about football, but I was almost as afraid that I would never be able to communicate as eloquently as PhxHorn or a handful of others.

I finally got up the nerve to post one day from my home (at the time) in Philadelphia. I wrote some post about "It's easy to be a Longhorn now, there is burnt orange everywhere and people are begging for tickets." I was basically worn out in the throes of the late summer doldrums...where we haven't played a game yet and everyone is bickering about who's who and what's what in practice and what conspiracies are taking place to ensure that we never again have a National Championship team. Anyway, I made the post and clicked "enter." I was petrified that I would be skewered, or even worse, labeled a "sunshine pumper."

To my surprise, I recieved several very complimentary replies to the post. It's Neil's I will always remember, though. When I saw that he had responded, I was terrified to read the post. I think it started out as something like, "Oh, ****. I suppose you think you're the biggest ******* fan who ever walked the planet and the rest of us are just a bunch of crybabies."

It was the beginning of, as Bogie said, a beautiful friendship.

We flirted with each other and teased each other and cursed each other and made fun of other people with each other. (But always in the most loving of ways, of course.) Neil didn't suffer fools gladly, and it was my pleasure to have met him and to have also met you, Shane. I write this from my mother's in Nebraska, and she also remembers both you and your father well. She sends her regards.

The thing I loved most about Neil was (besides his crotchety, curmudgeonly charm) that if he thought you had the mental capacity to engage in any sort of discourse with him, he would take time to explain things to you - and, unlike some others I've met, would never pull the "You're a girl, You never played the game, you're not a coach or a player so how would you ever know" card with you. If you were intelligent and had even a modicum of manners, he was happy to educate. I was honored that he took that time with me.

I truly believe that as crotchety as Neil could be, he truly loved making people - especially ladies - laugh. I think there were times when I'd tease him right back when he may have actually blushed. Except I'll never know, because I could never really make his face out clearly through his smoke and my bloodshot eyes.
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Shane - all my best to you and your sisters. And I say this in the most honorable and ladylike way...

****.

Hook 'em

sp
 
SLX -

Your old man was one of the first posters I ever read, back in '98 on Hook'em.com.

And he has remained the best.

Hearts out....

JudgeRoy Beanbag.
 
I know.... no condolences. However, anytime someone loses their father, it merits condolence. To you, I wish the best. I would add I'm sorry you lost your father. He will be missed in this little section of cyberspace.

Now, about your father. I will remember him. Probably until I die. He was eloquent, articulate, and thoughtful in his analysis. He pushed me towards analysis of football.... and away from emotion.... although the passion and emotion is what pushes all of us in our demented obcession of U.T. football, and football in general.

Here's to your father. Here's to the Horns. I'm figuring he'll be at the 50 yard line of everygame in the future..... and I will look there for him.

NOJA XXX
 
Anyone whose been around hornfans as long as me knows that there arent enough posters like PhxHorn and way to many of the rest of us.
 
When PhxHorn arrived on the 360 boards his posts were quickly recognized by everyone as the best of the best. That's how I will remember him. I think he was awarded the first or second NOJA of all time. I wish I could go out and get an "All Time Greatest Posts" of PhxHorn, something like the best of Johnny Carson videos. Adios Phx, man you will be sorely missed.
 
The first time I met Neil Kidwell was in 1997, at the first arranged meeting of posters from the old Austin 360 board, which I guess was where all this Longhorn internet madness began. If memory serves, oneriver and Alfredo put that deal together (I'm guessing Shane helped as well), and around 20-25 of us showed up. It was at an Outback Steakhouse in Houston, on a Saturday in the Spring. Everyone showed up dressed in polos, jeans and tennis shoe attire, many of us unshaven. Then there were these two guys perched on stools at he bar, father and son, dressed in sport coats, slacks and loafers.

As always, the KIdwells were stylin'.

I'll remember Neil as a study in contradictions. He is the only person I've known who could simultaneously come off as gruff and elegant, profane and urbane, insulting and charming.

I guess when I try to add them up, I've only met Neil face to face something around 16 times over 7 years. Doesn't seem like much. Yet, because of the daily conversations we had at places like this one, and the occasional mid-day phone calls I'd get out of the blue asking me "what in the f--- is so-and-so talking about in that post?", his presence had become a real, valued part of my life. He was, in fact, my friend, and I will miss him greatly.

I already do.

(I can hear him saying right now, "Ah, ****, Eyes, don't get all maudlin on me.")

A toast to PhxHorn, truly one of a kind.

Hook 'em!!!
 
I've been struggling to come up with the right things to say. I've failed at doing so.

All I can come up with is that he was the best of us.

I'm sorry for your loss, Shane.
 
From someone who has been around the 360 board/hornfans since around the first Big XII Championship, I can say I will truly miss PhxHorn's insights. I have always felt that the guys who frequented hookem, were the pioneers who have made this format what it is. PhxHorn's impact cannot be understated.

As others have said, I was intimidated by the football knowledge folks like Phx shared in their posts. I was mostly a lurker on hookem.com, but really enjoyed the banter there. Hornfans has grown into a great place now, too, because of Phx and posters like him.

Shane, sorry to hear about your loss. Your dad will be missed greatly around here. God bless you and your family.

Adios, PhxHorn.
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You can add me to the long list of those who stumbled onto the old 360 boards several years back. I learned quickly who had “it” and who didn’t. It was obvious from the beginning (at least for me anyway) who had “it” in greater quantities and quality than any other poster. From the replies of so many this was an opinion held by others as well. PhxHorn was the one poster I would read above all others—simply put, he was and shall remain the best.

I, too, offer a toast to PhxHorn…thanks for the memories.
 
Shane,

Thank you for sharing that.

I first found HornFans in '99 or so and found your father's posts outstanding.

I often told him they were "like rain in the desert".

I meet him once at a tailgate and I'm glad to have known him if but briefly in cyberworld.

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Shane, thanks so much for your post. I just hope someday my sons can feel half the love you show here. Your Dad was one in a million and I miss him already.
 
Well, here goes.

I've been reading all these posts for the last couple of days trying to figure out what I should say, and coming to the realization that the words just weren't going to come to me. I always strived to be as eloquent and insightful as PhxHorn, but always fell WELL short of that goal (hell, I wasn't even in the same ballpark, and mostly felt like I wasn't even playing the same game).

During my "old" days at 360, Phx was one of the posters (along with more than a few names on this thread) that I took time to really "read". Most posts I would just kind of skim over, get the general gist, and go on. The main problem I had with Phx's posts was that, after I had finished reading them, there was nothing left to say. One can only say "Nice post" so often. Besides that, I'm sure he KNEW he had made a "Nice Post", and didn't need some damn veggieboy reassuring him.

When I first started posting on the 360 board (in late 97 or early 98), I was a brash, overly dramatic, trash talker who thought that was what message boards were made for. A few posters with names like PhxHorn, beowulf, utvol, EyesofTX, HairyScotsman, JudgeRoyBeanBag, ressetex, basically told me to shut up, sit down, and learn what it really took to make a "Nice Post".

Some did it in ways that were not so nice, but Phx always had a way of making me stop and really think about what I was posting. I, too, am one of those people who always "feared" the PhxHorn response, knowing that if he disagreed with me, that I would be forced to give up the fight (sooner or later), and admit that he was right, and I was wrong.

Jeez, I didn't really mean for this post to be so long. I think some of the old 360 posters really tend to be long winded. But I know that I could keep writing for the next three hours, and still not be able to convey my admiration for PhxHorn. I have never met him in "real" life, but wish I had.

****.
 
Shane --

Sorry to hear about your loss. I want to join all of the other Longhorn posters who have paid tribute to your Dad's memory. He was fiercely loyal to the team, and his observations and insights were really valuable to the new posters like me. PhxHorn will be sorely missed from our conversations here on Hornfans. I'm hoping that the team's relative successes in the past 3-4 years made his days interesting and enjoyable.

I share your pain. I just returned from the funeral of my daughter's best friend who just lost her dad to leukemia. It's rough at first, but your family and friends do their best to console and ease the burden. Take care and best of luck.

Final word --- no good-byes, just "till we meet again." God bless.
 
Most won't recognize my handle. I almost never post and have never posted anything of any significance.

But, that hasn't been my role.

My "role", as I have seen it, has been to watch, read, and learn from the great posters and those with more knowledge than myself.

I developed this role for myself way back in the austin360 days. PHX was one of the main reasons for this. What could I say that he hadn't and how could I say it in a more elagant way? Obviously I couldn't. So I read and learned.

Funny how the internet works. Names and posts become dear to us. Pixels on a computer screen become important. Some how, this guy I had never met, had become dear to me. Some super intelligent ******* became important and what and how he said things became important.

I'm obviously rambling, but this one time I don't care. He deserved to have people ramble on and on about what a grouchy genius he was.........and how much they will miss him.

I miss those 360 days. I miss those amazingly long but brilliantly satisfying posts. I miss reading and watching those brilliant arguments between people who knew what the hell they were talking about.

Mostly, I just miss reading PHX.

I hope you aren't a stranger SLX. You are just as important as your father was to this community. If there has ever been a poster who was up to snuff with Phx's excellence... it has been you.

Please forgive the length/quality of this post and know that you are being thought of in these hard times.

Hook'em
JMill
 
I am genuinely sorry to hear that your father died.

I lost my father on November 2 of this year. Nothing in life prepares us for the loss of a parent. Especially at this time fo year. Thanksgiving and Christmas were not the same without Dad around.

Keep close to your mother--she will need all your love and support during this time. being present is evry important, although when she says she wants to be alone, let her grieve in private.
 
I'm another long time lurker since the hookem.com/360 days.

Phxhorn's posts were always long and chunked full of stats that I always read more so for the discussions they created more than anything else.

Sucks to lose a great poster, which I am sure is the least of his attributes. He is missed.
 
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