How do you ask a woman out on a date?

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this thread reminds me of why i ******* hate dating. i hate all the stupid ******** small talk. the best date for me is a long bike ride. i don't mean some casual ****. i'm talking about a legitimate training ride. any girl who will go on a bike ride with me as a first date is someone who i know will have something in common with me. then maybe lunch afterwards.

i loathe the whole "dinner date" nonsense, where we both throw ******** at each other for an hour or two. i have decided that a date has to be something that is not totally ******* boring. i've done a lot of this kind of dating, and i can't ******* stand it anymore. i don't have the attention span to sit still and chit-chat for that long, no matter how hot the chick is.

so my advice: think of something that you really enjoy, and ask her if she wants to do it with you. if not, you don't want her anyway. if so, then you can actually be relaxed and have fun on the date, rather than just sit there and fling ******** at each other.
 
The Elbow hits the nail on the head for me.

I really don't want to go on a dinner date. What is it with eating that is so cool or interesting? Food? Really? Hell, I only eat to stay alive. Not that there isn't good food out there but WTF? Much less the mindless chit chat.

I'm supposed to meet another woman for lunch today. I'm actually dreading it. Yikes! Yeah, let's sit around and have a sandwich and talk ********.

Let's go do something fun, which is why I suggested going for a walk, riding bikes (though I'm not doing "training" rides), Blues on the Green, or Shakespeare in the Park.

Some people didn't like my suggested activities, a few people did. But, my suggestions are some of the things I would like to do with a woman that would be easy and not take too much time.

Later, we could go to Enchanted Rock or South Padre or Mexico ... but as a first date I would choose to do something that was fun and didn't take more than a couple of hours.

Also, I play golf (it was my life for many many years). I was also UT Co-Ed Intramural putt putt champion one year. I think we finished second three years before we finally won because there was another bad *** guy/girl team that won it 4 years in a row. Of course, my girl partner didn't play golf so I'm going to blame our lack of success on her, ha ha.

Or maybe go to Butler Park Pitch and Putt, just to show her the game. That wouldn't take much time, and it would be easy.

To end, I do agree that it would be important to figure out what she likes to do and work out a compromise activity.

However, now I don't think I'm going to have the opportunity to talk to the eye of my affection today since I'll be going on a mindless chit-chat lunch with another woman.

And yes, I understand and respect earlier posts about "obsessing" but if I don't desire it and pursue it then I'm not going to get it. I can't just kick back and hope luck lands in my lap.
 
gobears with the win!

Advice from a 24-year-old, so take it however you want.
I think you should just call her up if you can't see her in person and say, "Hey, you wanna go do (insert cool activity) with me this weekend?" From a guy who has a beautiful sister who got asked out a lot before she got married, she said the best dates she went on were the ones that were original like rock-climbing, hiking, or a visit to the museum. Everyone does the dinner date. Don’t be like all the other guys. Be something different. Do something that demonstrates to this woman that you’re different from the pack and worth spending time with.
 
just ask.

I asked out many, many ladies in college. I was only told "No." maybe three times. I was however told the following on several different occasions:

Busy that night (and the next)
Had a boyfriend
Going out of town
Not interested in going on a date right now
Are we going as friends or more, cause i am not interested in more right now in my life.

There were a lot of excuses, but there were some that accepted and we had a great time. Get used to rejection. Not every lady will be interested, but there will be some that are.

Good luck. Best dates i had were not dinner, but go-carting, rock climbing, biking, types.
 
Just be Steve.

1. Eliminate your desires.
2. Do something excellent in her presence, thereby proving your sexual worthiness.
3. Retreat, for as Heidegger said, "We pursue that which retreats from us".

Actually this strategy might not be that great for finding a real relationship, but it was a cool movie.
 
It sounds like you are really overthinking this one. Start off with a casual 'let's get together and catch up' and go from there once you get the go ahead....she may suggest something and then you are off the hook. And if all else fails, ask her what she would like to do and throw out a few suggestions. Good luck!
 
First of all , you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi."

Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it."

Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?"

Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice."

And five, now this is the most important. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.
 
Yes, I probably am overthinking this. Ok, here's another kicker -- she's one of my 3 references on my "one page" resume (edit: that's a joke from another thread)... so, maybe I ought to just leave it alone. It's complicated. Well, I could have other references on my resume but she's a good one. However, if I asked her out I think I would have to replace her with someone else.

I was going to mention the Fast Times quote but didn't take the effort to look it up, but in college (before the movie came out) one of my good friends also said to never let a woman know how much you like her. I ****** up about 6 years ago and that relationship ended up going nowhere because I gave her all the cards.

I went to lunch with the other woman today. That went fairly well. She said "call me or e-mail me." Ok, whatever.

I will say this, and I don't mean to be disrespectful to women, but there's a lot of hot tail at Central Market.
 
Punt, you aren't a loner who rides a red bike with a bell, are you???
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*and in all fairness, I owe Yuppieprick props on this one...
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So you are interested about beginning a relationship with this woman, but now you are hesitant because you would need to redo your resume and get a new reference? What, is paper that expensive? Are you looking for a new job? You haven't even made it to the friend zone, you're in the reference zone!

Quit thinking up bogus excuses. Quit thinking about it at all. Seize the moment and ask her out today. Best of luck.
 
OK, when you first mentioned the bikes in my first post, I was going to post that you probably should keep that under wraps for the first couple of dates. Now that I've heard the details, um, I'd mention that you still live with your mom before suggesting a first date of bike riding on your sweet custom bikes.
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dude, just ******* do it already, or somebody else is going to.

if you go out with her, dinner, drinks, snorkeling, whatever the ****, and it doesn't work out into a second date, it's not like she's gonna not be a good reference for you. in fact, she'll likely feel bad and be a great reference.

and if you start dating, she will obviously be a good one.

i know there have been people on here that don't "get" dinner dates, and "stupid chit chat" or whatever, but i would still keep it simple. if you can't enjoy each other's company and conversation over a sandwich or a drink, you are ****** regardless. trying too hard is a turnoff.
 
yes, let's focus more on this bike angle. ask her if you can put your bike into her trunk. it worked for that dude on 40 year old virgin, it can work for you
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See I like the "dinner thing" but as a kind of side dish to the main course. My standard move is this.

1. Find out what kind of music she likes
2. Find a concert that involves that type of music
3 See if she wants to go
4. When plans are being finalized(maybe even the day before) ask her what she is doing for dinner before the show and suggest a place close to the venue. Some [very] casual preferably.

Reason behinds this is simple. Two people eating together, preferably sharing food, is intimate. Yet in the casual setting it seems less formal and less second datey. Then after that you go enjoy something that she likes, showing her that you share some interest. But that's just me and I suck at asking girls out.
 
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