Funny sayings of old time country folk

[Vino Bevo]

My Greatest Generation grandad used to say "almost as good as a Moon Pie with a Nehi belly-washer!"

 

[Horn6721]

I still use this
Standing in High Cotton

 

[Chop]

Cletus is certainly not the wisest, sharpest, or most sophisticated person around.

So we say: he "just fell off the turnip truck."

 

[Chop]

This one's from an old George Jones song:

She was "hotter than a two dollar pistol."

 

[SabreHorn]

She'd make a freight train take a dirt road

Lots of great lines in country songs, but one by Rodney Crowell - "she came into my life like a tornado lookin for a trailer park"

 

[Chop]

You could fry an egg on the asphalt, it's so hot.

 

[Chop]

Don't let the door hit 'ya (on the way out...)

 

[Chop]

Well..................God bless him.

(said about somebody you absolutely can't stand)



And, ending a tense conversation with: "I'll pray for you..."

(basically equivalent to "F-off and die")

 

[Chop]

Some weather events:


Gully-washer

Blue Norther'

It's 'bout to "spin" (a tornado is coming)

The devil is beating his wife (it's raining while it's sunny at the same time)

 

[Chop]

He's getting "too big for his britches."

(doesn't mean he's getting fat; rather, he's getting too arrogant and haughty and thinks of himself as above his current actual station in life.)

 

[Horn6721]

Variation
Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya

 

[mchammer]

Don't let the door hit 'ya

Where the good Lord split ya’

 

[Vol Horn 4 Life]

Don't let the door hit 'ya (on the way out...)

I always heard it as "don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya".

 

[nashhorn]

Better ‘git it while the gittin’s good’.
I always heard that where the good lord split ya as ‘where the Indian hit you with a tomahawk.

 

[Horn6721]

Purt near
As in I purt near got the north 40 plowed.

 

[HornHuskerDad]

On working with a very difficilt person - "I'd rather french kiss a cottonmouth."

 

[Horn6721]

meaner than a snake

 

[nashhorn]

“as serious as a heart attack”, although that one has a more significant meaning to me now.

 

[Chop]

She's got two left feet.
(she can't dance)

 

[Chop]

She's a "cotton top."

(she has light blond hair)

 

[Chop]

Skinny as a rail.

 

[horninchicago]

This applies to most of you.

Drunker than Cooter Brown.

 

[SabreHorn]

With apologies to the ladies who sponsor HornFans - flatter than a pancake

 

[Sangre Naranjada]

If you think (insert something stupid), you got another think comin'.

 

[Chop]

Oh, for Pete's sake!

 

[Vol Horn 4 Life]

He's slower than molasses in the winter.

 

[Chop]

He's slower than molasses in the winter.

Slower than Christmas molasses.

 

[Chop]

Granddad was slow.....but he was old.

(said to kids who are lolly-gagging around and going too slow)

 

[Chop]

Shut yer smart mouth, or I'll take you to the woodshed.


And tan yer hide.

 

[Chop]

Speaking of hides...

Now that really chaps my hide.