Things your pets know

You should call your cat Valerie Bertinelli or Kirstie Alley or however you spell her name.
 
Bluto knows when it is somewhere between 5:59 and 6:01 a.m., and starts meowing for the morning dish replinishment, whether we remember to set the alarm or not- but he doesn't know when it is the freakin' weekend, dammit.
 
We recently adopted a deaf dog. He is part Westie, part Maltese and maybe some poodle thrown in for good measure. The people who owned him had him for 18 months before they realized he couldn't hear **** so they dumped him at a vets office.

In about 2 months, we have taught him sign language for sit, shake, outside, bed time and are working on several others.

Also, our other dog knows that when we say "Go find Teddy" it is her duty to find his *** and bring him to us.

He can also feel the vibration of the garage door, from upstairs at the other end of the house.
 
Our dog knows the sound of the peanut butter jar opening, and comes running. She also thinks that grocery bags= new bone.

When I wake her up in the morning to go outside, about half of the time she just lays there and looks at me like I'm the meanest person ever.
 
Bluto knows when it is somewhere between 5:59 and 6:01 a.m., and starts meowing for the morning dish replinishment, whether we remember to set the alarm or not- but he doesn't know when it is the freakin' weekend, dammit.

you really sell me short
 
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Running water = much better than water in a bowl, so time to jump up on the sink and stick head under the tap.

Bathtub = echo chamber which will allow house-wide broadcast of pathetic, caterwauling cries for attention.
 
I have 2 Labs, Daisy and Beau. Daisy is as smart as a whip and Beau is dumber than all hell.

My livingroom is covered in dog toys, but they both always want the same one...and it can be any of them. If Beau is chewing on a ball, Daisy will make one or 2 attempts to take it. When that fails, she will go get another toy and wait for him to come take it (Huh, that one must be better!). As soon as he attemts to take it, she leaves it for him and goes and takes his now-abandoned ball. He doesn't even know what hit him.

Also, she always knows when there's an opportunity for a car ride and I can't figure out the signals. I can be home, all alone sitting on the sofa. I get up, could be to go to the bathroom or it could be to run to the store. If it's to go to the store, she's jumping around like mad before I get my balance. Beau has no idea what's going on, but follows her lead.

She does all the thinking for the both of them, it's quite funny. The only thing he knows is that he might get a cookie if he comes inside when I call.

I know chickens that are smarter than that dog. On the other hand, he's as sweet as can be. He's on the left.

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Cooper is probably too smart...

He knows that crinkly plastic sounds or the opening of medicine bottles might mean queso/ C-H-E-E-S-E and a run to the fridge must be made immediately.

He knows that by stepping on the white remote he'll get whoever is watching the TV's immediate attention.

He knows to head downstairs or get under the bed when he hear's romantic music or see's candles lit

He knows that when daddy picks up the football, it's time to leave the room b/c there may be screaming, conversely he knows that when he hear's Coach Mack's voice it's okay to come back b/c the game is over.

When riding, he knows exactly how long it takes to get from the new house to grandma's and he knows that if Milo is on "no stoppy" (he hasn't picked up on the new guys' voices yet), the same for Craig Way. Arby's/ McD's sign are reasons to whine and look pathetic...Oh and he LOVES ABBA...go figure...

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Danno
 
What's eerie is you just described my girlfriend's family labs. The older one is Daisy (black) and smart as hell. The younger one, Deuce (choc) is dumb as a rock.

My girlfriend says his internal dialog is something like "doop de doop de doooo, dum dum dum dee dum" while Daisy is working on calculus or something in her head.
 
great thread ...

DJ knows that if we ask him to lay down in the front hall, we're about to put his leash on for a walk (which means get up and BARK!)

If we're in the car, he knows the routes to a few friends houses and several spots on Town Lake. When we get close, he gets whiny and barky until we let him out.

He's got about 6 tricks that we show off at parties. And he HATES OU - our "speak" (bark) command is "OU" (grrrr)

He'll sleep on my side of the bed when my wife is asleep, and when I enter the room he'll get down by himself. But if I'm in bed, he won't sleep on my wife's side - he'll stay on the ground. Little punk.

The two cats know when cat treats are being opened, as echoed by several on this thread. I have no idea how.
 
That's fantastic Montag. You second line sums them up perfectly.

Dogs are great (except when they're being rotten). I get hours of entertainment from them.
 
Make eye contact ! - I am gonna get a belly rub (dog)

Suite cases- they are leaving me, crawl inside
(cat)

Alarm goes off - I am getting fed run to the kitchen
(both)

Open Frig- maybe I can have a snack too
(both)
 
My dog is possibly the only lab in recorded history that will not eat anything put in front of him in 10 seconds. Even when he was young, putting food out didn't do anything for him, he'd always rather play or anything else.

But the one way I can always get him to eat is if I come to the kitchen and fix food for myself. He'll perk his ears and check to see if he's going to get any scraps, then after a minute he'll head over to his bowl and start eating.

Let's see, obvious ones, he knows what shoes mean but can almost always tell when I'm leaving and not taking him along. He learned very quickly that whining and standing by the door will usually get him a trip outside, whether he needs to go out or not.

The weird one though is that he seems to be able to tell the difference between me packing to go on a work trip and me packing to go home (which means he gets to come along).
 
My dog knows that if I'm at the computer and he wants a walk, it's more effective to go bother my wife to tell me to do it than get my attention himself.
 
We have a black lab and a blond lab mixed with chow.

They learned "outside" very quickly and could even spell it in record time.

They know when I reach in the red box to come up and sit pretty, because that's where the treats are.

The blond is the athlete. If you throw it to her, she'll catch it about 90% of the time. The black is the goalie. She won't catch it, but it's not getting past her.

wh
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My cat doesn't like treats and doesn't know what tuna or milk is. She doesn't care for toys either. She doesn't care if we're packing. And she's scared to death of going outside.

She does however follow us everywhere in the house - except our bedroom. My husband trained her to stay out of there. Besides the obvious, the damn thing used to wake us up at 6 sharp on weekdays and at 8 sharp on the weekends. Now she doesn't come near the door until she hears movement or flushing.

No matter who comes home first, she doesn't deign to get out of her chair until the second person arrives. Then she's all over us.

She knows the word "stick" but she doesn't know how to spell it. Stick is her only toy. The first one was a long black plastic rod with leather strips on the end (yes, looked like a sex toy but really came from the pet store), then was replaced with a longer white plastic rod with feathers on the end (made her do flips on the air, quite the athletic little acrobat). When all the feathers finally fell out, it was replaced with a laser pointer made for cats. She recognizes the click it makes before she even sees the thing.
 
We avoided a couple of bad habits with our last dog by never feeding him scraps from the table or from the dishes, so he would be disinterested while we were eating-but as soon as you scooted your chair back an inch at the end of the meal, he would appear out of nowhere and point at his bowl, hoping for the anticipated leftovers.
And dogs and cats definitely know the sound of your car, as they wait by the front door when you arrive to greet you.
The danged cat knows there is a rule against getting up on the kitchen table, as I have told him repeatedly about it. He knows what the squirt bottle of water means, which is for the enforcement of this rule. He doesn't care. He gets up there anyhow. Cats aren't big on listening comprehension.
 
My sister's parakeet could see our vehicle approaching out the front window and start flapping around and chirping before it could hear the car or hear the garage open. We fooled the bird for a bit when my parents sold it and got a new minivan, but within 2 weeks he had figured it out. He also figured out pretty fast that if he was perched on our shoulder and we walked into the hall bathroom, he needed to fly away before we had a chance to shut the door and turn out the light. He hated getting put back in his cage and so he wouldn't let us grab him and pick him up, so getting him in near pitch darkness was about the only way to do it.

The guinea pig I used to have knew that hearing a plastic bag rustle or the fridge door open meant that we might be getting out some carrots or lettuce for him, so it's time start squealing at the top of his lungs to make sure we don't forget him.

The parakeet also learned pretty quickly that getting into the guinea pig's cage and either trying to nibble on some timothy hay or preen him would draw a response of what was probably "Quit stealing my food" or "Quit pecking me on the ***" and result in some feathers getting ripped out and a stubby-looking bird tail for the next few days.
 
OK, so in general my dog is very smart. He loves playing with toys he has to figure out, you can always see his wheels turning, but the best thing is what he doesn't know. He doesn't know that he can still move if he has his leash on but no one is holding it. You know how sometimes you'll get the leash on the dog but you remember one more thing to do before you go out? Well, Max just sits right where you left him staring imploringly at you to let him leave.

It's funnier when you get back. One time I had a bunch of luggage in my hands and I forgot to unhook the leash. I set it down and started doing all of the stuff you have to do when you get back from a trip. Finally I get done and sit down to watch TV. About 10 minutes later I hear whining from right next to the door, and it's Max, sitting right where I left him because he hasn't figured out that he can still move.
 
Sees me in the bathroom AM shaving or taking a shower... he knows it means I am leaving you for awhile...

he goes and gets in the kennel in the kitchen because he knows that where he goes when no one is home and he gets a treat for going in there.
 
The Ratty I saved hates for me to leave her, I put my clothles on the bed to go out she jumps on the clothles to keep me from putting them on, then stands blocking the door so I cant leave.
Another thing she does is after many times of us going through the drive through for fast food she gets pissed at the lady at the drive through bank because they dont send food out.
 

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