Return of Sooner Haiku

[OhioHorns]

Should we run the ball?
Or maybe we throw the ball...
Either way, we win.

I can hardly wait
For the State Fair this weekend...
Kick some Sooner ***!

Running down the field,
Ivan, with the ball in hand,
Scores one for the Horns.

Just for the record,
It's 'bout three thirty-seven,
And OU still sucks.

 

[domedriver]

Of trailerpark trash
Toothless women and wasted lands
Vashersmack is the plan

Of sunsets tinged
Comes times to unhinge
And redeem by score

A score and more!
Just don't run it up, we want to win!
Next year again

Ah well I suck at Haiku, but I know for a fact that OUSUXS!
And our team is the greatest Longhorn Team that I have had the priviledge to be a fan of since '69!

Domedriver
Pins and needles until kickoff!
Corso SUCKS HARD!
Somebody needs to change his ******* tune!
Boom-Boom! Get the ball!!!!!!!

 

[horn4life]

Crimson and Cream Dream
masturbatory alone
clean hand with dish rag

">
~

 

[NickDanger]

UNEXPECTED STORKS IN NORMAN

But, I USED control!
Try spermicidal jelly
Instead of Smuckers!

 

[bclarke]

I'm fond of Nostradamus quatrains these days:

The house is not anchored; the clothes hang from trees.
The vermillion hordes wander from the bowl;
The fat one wheezes, while two brothers bicker in sorrow.
Beef shall crush all underfoot.

 

[bat]

Oklahoma, Free!
Touch Sis, inappropriate.
No one notices

 

[longhrnfan]

Major can't cut it,
he should be coaching our team
simms is plenty fit.

 

[Orenthal]

With pork rinds and booze,
Movin' south on thirty-five,
Mobil-home convoy

 

[Texr]

Crimson creamed.
Repeat only dreamed.
Okie kicks another hole in his mobile home.

 

[TroutDog2]

The OU women
Are not thin...but that's OK,
Double-chins are in.

 

[Ampoliros]

Sooners fled there for
Land of opportunity
To marry cousins

 

[Ampoliros]

Mangino has his
secret weapon against us
weigh gain 4000

Welcome to our state
many cultural landmarks
indian bingo!

Tooth brush invented
In oklahoma, nowhere else.
Otherwise, teethbrush.

 

[bub]

I think I failed a test
can't study because of this site
i wish I could die.

 

[zzzz]

Stoops, Stoops, Stoops, Stoops, Stoops
Sooner Faithful Cry and Cry
How could this happen?

 

[zzzz]

Seventeen it was
When the OU winning streak
Came to burnt orange end

 

[TroutDog2]

A HISTORY OF OKLAHOMA:

In 1907
Barren land became a state
And then came Garth Brooks

The End


(ou sucks)

 

[HornInOz]

OU ACADEMIA

Only passed one class
Animal Husbandry
What a great major!

FAMOUS OKIES

Mister Will Rogers
Never met Barry Switzer
Lucky SOB

CLOSE RELATIVES

Spittoon on her back
I gently whisper to her
You're my best cousin

AUTO MECHANICS

Ford Pinto broke down
Twenty miles from the border
Damn metric toolset!

VACATION ADVENTURE

Making the journey
In doublewide luxury
Where's the KOA?

 

[rpongett]

My favorites from last year (we need Nick Danger back on this thread):

MOTHER AND CHILD

Crusted in boogers,
Stained with Kool-Aid, baby has face
Only Mama loves

HATRED

I curse the rainbow
Emblazoned upon his hood
******* Jeff Gordon

OFFERINGS

Tonight we hunger
Grandma sent grocery money
To Robert Tilton

IMPOUNDED

Sixty-five dollars
And cyclone fence keeps me from
My El Camino

BLAZE

Distant siren screams
Dumb-*** Verne's been mowing with
Gasoline again

JOY

screen door slams, dead bail
bondsmen hits formica floor
Momma's home early

AFAR

holds Super Big-Gulp
uterus isn't bleeding
Stuck up Longhorn *****

DESIRE

Damn, in that tube-top
You make me almost fergit
That you're my cousin

DESPAIR

Where to run or hide?
Double wide is gone, gone, gone
Twisters or divorce?

HORIZONS

Tubal ligation?
New chrome rims on lay-away.
Maybe next year.

NATURE

Aluminum boat...
Eighteen sticks of dynamite.
Time to catch some fish.

 

[NickDanger]

Althought I've given a few attempts this year, I'm really afraid of the mojo from last year.

Aside from the spermicidal jelly one from this year, my personal favorite is the following, or something close to it:

Ain't my Grandkids Cute?
Tha good Lord gave 'em to us
**** YOU ROD BABERS!!!!!

Doperbo made some excellent offerings last year. Here comes the mayor.

Wish I had saved that thread

 

[HornInOz]

NickDanger---

The 3 you added this time were ABSOUTELY HYSTERICAL!!

You've still got the mojo...

 

[NickDanger]

Something about grandma's toungue and bean dip on the side of the road have made me lose a lot of sleep.

 

[rpongett]

LONGINGS

Cannot sound it out.
Can't read that high falutin'
fuckin' letter A.

DREAMS

Bigtime. Like Barry.
My own bodyshop to run
from momma's garage.

PLATEAUS

Will mankind ever
again create great minds like
Udo Dirkshneider?

DILEMMA

Day run to Quebec?
Or fake injury to get
ER strength codine?

OBLIGATIONS

In the OKC,
spunking in sis's hair is
common law marriage.

 

[DaleJrBudChevy]

Crimson Cream Dean
Has wet dream
All over Bob Stoops

Texas ***** slaps sooners
Okies go back to Norman
kick holes in trailer homes

Texas is undefeated
Goes all the way
Rose Bowl here we come!

 

[Chris Applewhite]

one i wrote during last years game:

**** **** **** **** ****,
**** **** **** **** **** **** ****.
**** **** **** **** ****

geez, first damn post my idea is stolen. ****. oh well, i thought it up all by myself, so im keeping it.

 

[justhookit]

HEARTBREAK

The Sooner is sad
He can't make it to the game
House has a flat tire

 

[justhookit]

CONSERVATION
Have a runny nose
Fish t.p. out of toilet
Outhouses are great

LONGINGS
My teeth almost gone
Copenhagen tastes so good
Water under the damn

JOY
A big party tonight
Friends and family all here
Welfare check in mail

 

[rpongett]

ttt

 

[DaleJrBudChevy]

Cars up on blocks
people without teeth
must be in mobilehoma

Sooners come to Dallas
Get their asses kicked
go back home to trailerpark

Texas runs the table
Beats KSU in title game
Plays Canes in Pasadena

 

[scally]

5
7
5


Mangino eats food
Hybl Heupel who cares, yo?
Simms throws da deep bomb.

 

[CaptainAmerica]

Dairy Queen shut down.
Workers head south to Dallas
Alumni meeting.

Clothes cost 40 bucks
Shopping at Wal-mart is nice
house needs a spare tire

Hell for a Sooner:
It means tons of tobacco
But not one spitoon.

'Klahoma's OK
Glad it says so on the plates
Else I would forget.

Classes at OU
Earn not only credit but
S&H Green Stamps.

My red Camaro
From 1982
OU Honors Grad