Needed: Words of Wisdom

[Uncle Rico]

1) Don't get less than 12 hours sleep
2) Never play cards with a man named after a city
3) Never date a woman with a tatoo of a knife on her body

You remember that, the rest is cream cheese.

In all seriousness

"eliminate all quitters, cheaters and people who tell you that you can't from your surroundings as they will keep you from reaching your dreams"

The following is one of my favorites and ironically comes from the movie Rocky Balboa:

The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life.

 

[Mrmyke709]

Never fry bacon nekkid.

 

[MaduroUTMB]

I guess I missed the point a bit. Here is advice that is more tailored:

College boys are lying vermin whose sole objectives are 1.) Graduating 2.) Becoming intoxicated 3.) Achieving a rank in the 40's on Halo 3 4.) Rocking out to bands that nobody has ever heard of and 5.) getting into your pants. They will attempt to conceal these things from you because that knowledge would hinder Objective 5.

Don't vomit on or near cops.

Mixed drinks in bars generally contain less alcohol than normal. Mixed drinks at parties are interchangeable with rocket fuel. Carry a beer around in a cup and drink it at your pace.

If you think that a party is too loud and will get busted, it probably is and probably will. I know of a total of one frat that paid off cops, and I think that guy was lying.

Do something crazy in your first week with people you want to hang out with.

Do not leave college without trying weed.

Do not do drugs.

Stay away from those caffeine drinks.

Don't take amphetamines. Your friends will take amphetamines to "help them study". They are taking them because they put studying off until the last minute and are now ******. Don't do that either.

219 West gives away beer and food every day but Sunday from 7-9 pm.

Don't dance on bars at 6th street. The guys who are below you will leer at your hoo-hoo if you do this. These are not the type of guys that you want peering at the va-jay. In fact, try to avoid 6th street in general. The Ginger Man is significantly more chill.

ALWAYS HAVE A SOBER RIDE HOME. The buses are good and free- use them.

Do not walk or run by yourself at night. There are crazy people who will rape and kill you, and you don't know who or where they are. Avoid situations where you could wind up alone with one. Carry pepper spray.

Don't waste money on food from chains. Find good places to eat. Start with Kismet and work your way out. Do not leave Austin without going to Homeslice.

Go to class.

Read before class.

Do not let college consume your life. Keep school in its place.

Work out regularly.

Get plenty of sleep.

 

[jemez]

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.