I just don't 'get' fraternity life

forgot the smiley...
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i think everyone has their own experiences. I do think there can be some long held jealousy of some, when it come to fraternities, especially ones at UT.

Frats are often just an extension of the high school clicks in which the jocks or the popular kids, appeared to be living the charmed life.

I for one, if i look honestly at myself, as an 18 year old didn't have the social skills that most fraternity guys seemed to have. I was shy around girls, not all that assertive or confident in myself, liked "weird music", etc. Not exactly the kind of guy that frats would look to and not exactly the kind of guy who would feel comfortable in one.

Fortunately, i grew out of that. (well, i still like "weird music") I made some life long friends at UT, managed to get laid every now and again, (sheer luck, i have/had no game), graduated, have a great career, live a fairly drama free well adjusted life with a wife, 2 kids and a house.

But as an 18 year old, i was kinda a mess, like a lot of us were.

I don't hold any deep seeded ill will towards frats, but they were definitely not for me and i was definitely not what they were looking for at 18 years of age.
 
"Get over yourself. i as well as a friend were called racial slurs on more than one occasion by different fraternity members. "

Guess your not inviting me to your annual hate whitey party this year?
 
I don't think I ever said anything about race of the fraternities. The "asian frats" and "african-american frats" were just as bad as the "white frats".

come on........ you know you meant whiteys
 
I did not join a frat, but I lived in the part of the dorm that was reserved for one (Psi U). I did this because it meant that I could get a room of my own as a soph. (social membership). I participated in hazing by providing tapes of the weirdest, most obnoxious music I could unearth from my collection (Doc Dart, the singer from the Crucifucks, has a voice that hurts your feelings when blared all night long), and I went along for kicks to a national meeting in Lansing, where the Kenyon Psi Us (the group I tagged along with) were treated like ****. Fights on the dance floor and the whole nine yards. The Psi Us from Dartmouth were real ******** that didn't know **** from fat meat about how to party.

I did not and do not get frat life. It seemed weak to me, especially as everyone started jockeying for position as soon as we hit campus. Granted, at Kenyon, without being in a frat there wasn't much to do, but it wasn't like the frats offered something other than friendship, which I can manage on my own, thanks very much, and parties, which requires only beer/drugs, tunes, and girls, all of which I can manage on my own, thank you very much. I ****** their girlfriends--even the one's that went to school elsewhere. No jealousy at all. Most of the frat parties were open to everyone anyway, and there were no sororities, so all of the ladies were unaffiliated (social habits, etc., tended to marry off certain female cliques to certain frats). Why bother with all of the ******** and the herd mentalite? Do not get.

Maybe Kenyon's mid-80s frat scene is unrepresentative.
 
You want to be the Deltas, not the Omegas. Some of my best friends in college were frat guys, but I also knew tons of frat guys who were gigantic douche nozzles. The point being, your personal qualities matter way more than three letters. The unique utility of a fraternity drops to zero the day after you get your diploma (and I am being generous because I think that the idea of getting jobs based on frat connections is jealous BS).

The good frats are beer, service, intramural sport and poontang collectives, and they get into trouble when they go beyond that.
 
As a somewhat different take on this, I went to college at Wisconsin and I think Greeks make up maybe 2% of the campus. Really small and you didn't need to do it to have fun. I didn't do it but many friends did, but they all quit at some point. It's just not big there at all. In fact, a number of fairly big houses closed when I was up there.

In contrast, it is BIG at UT. I know a number of people that weren't in houses at UT and they didn't seem to enjoy college as much as the guys I know who were in frats. Now, that is a broad statement no doubt but just my personal experience in meeting UT alums.

The UT Greek system builds some very impressive networks. I have many close friends who were in houses at UT and it definitely helps them in the real world with connections.

Honestly, for that reason alone, if I had a kid who went to UT, I would probably want him/her to join a house (if they wanted to).

While you don't need one at a school like Wisconsin, I actually think you sorta do next one at a place like UT.

Again, just my personal observation. I know there are a lot of people that went to UT and didn't go Greek and loved it.
 
Of the 7 boys in my family (including step brothers and half brother) three were in frats and four were not. We all had great college experiences and forged life long friendships. One was President of his frat at SUNY Bingamton. One brother at Alfred University quit his frat after a pledge died in a drinking hazing deal. One was in a frat at U of Vermont Burlington for three of his years and enjoyed it until he didn't anymore.

I don't have a strong opinion one way or another. College is filled with 18 year old idiots and almost all 18 year old college freshman can be stacked into the dumbass category, with or without a frat association of any kind.

I was not in a frat at Texas. I had lots of friends who were and then quit their frats. College life at 20 is very different than college life at 18. The most interesting people I remember from college did not stay in their frat more than 2 years.
 
^^^ I don't remember anyone dropping out of my frat after the first year. Most of my close friends were not in frats. And I didn't do much other than eat and play basketball and go to an occasional party but I still payed dues. I wonder if it depends on the frat.
 
i have greek and non greek friends. i love them all the same and they all treat me with the same respect.

except for this past weekend in waco. let's never speak of that again.
 
Last time I was in Athens, I was picked up at the airport by a drunk cab driver. On the way to the hotel, he got into an accident. We waited an hour for the police: I didn't have a choice because my luggage was in the trunk. Finally, the police arrived and after getting a policeman who spoke english, I explained what happened. The cab driver then wanted me to pay the fare including the hour we waited for the cops. The point that I am trying to make is that some Greeks are good. Others are not. Same goes for cab drivers.
 
I was in a frat and had a great time. I also assure you no one came near my sphincter w/ a ******* thing. As pledges, we did lots of pushups, cleaned up early the next morning after parties (the worst thing about being a pledge, imo), kept up the house and yard...**** like that. As someone said, it was kind of like being a freshman football player. You caught **** from the upperclassmen but it was all in good fun. I know not all frats are like that but that was my experience.

I had a great time and was very involved my first two years. After that, I still mostly hung out w/ friends I made in the frat but we had moved away from the frat itself and started getting more serious about school and dating chicks who weren't in sororities.

Like goo said, I have friends who were in frats and friends who weren't....all were cool and I wouldn't change a thing.

It's really weird to me that people (like the original post) get their panties in a wad over this...if you weren't in one, why the **** do you care?
 
This thread is ripped from the pages of "Who Gives a **** Monthly."

I was in a fraternity. I was in Plan II. I went to Law School. I have friends from a broad spectrum of backgrounds, etc. Some lifelong friends from my fraternity. Some lifelong friends from Plan II. Some from Law School. Some I met after the fact. Our tailgate group is folks from all kinds of groups/backgrounds.

You go to a big school, you take steps to make your world smaller. If you are big into sailing, you join the sailing club. If you are big into goofing off, drinking beer, and chasing girls, maybe you join a fraternity (those were my three natural strengths, so it seemed an obvious fit). I don't really give a crap. Human beings have a natural tendency to form into "tribes" -- that ain't a big shocker. Find a home, and make yourself at home, wherever that might be.

I don't give a rat's *** whether or not you were in a fraternity, or some other group. I can't see why you would give a rat's *** whether or not I was. As assinine as it might be for a bunch of fraternity guys to act like douchebags and talk down to others, it's just as assinine for folks who chose some other "tribe" (and you ALL chose one) to talk down to fraternity members. To each his own. If you feel that your experience is somehow superior to someone else's fraternity experience, then you don't really beleive in "to each his own" -- you believe that YOUR choice is somehow superior. And that's pretty, well, douchey. Pot, kettle, all that jazz.
 
In reply to:
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including one in which a stripper allegedly used a vibrator to anally penetrate a fraternity pledge during an initiation party.



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Damn. Why didn't I know that's what was happening around fraw row when I went to UT? To think of all the money I wasted having this done to me at $100 buck an hour when I could have joined a frat and gotten it for free!
 
if you havent been hazed in some form, by some group, at some point in your life, you pretty much cant be trusted with much of anything.
 
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