How prepared are you for a zombie infestation?

What if you wear a suit of armor like a knight? Zombies would have a hard time getting to your brain. Add a sword or a good axe and you can hack your way through them.
 
victorious, that sounds like a good plan at first, but you're not really mobile in a suit of armor. the zombies would just surround you, hold you down, and pull you apart. i just don't see that scenario going very well.

i plan on heading to somewhere cold, where there's snow. the zombies will already be slow from their rigor mortis, and the cold should further impede them. we are talking about traditional zombies, right?

super-zombies (recent examples: 28 days later, i am legend) require some other thoughts. obviously, if there is a zombie/vampire hybrid strain, keep some UV lightbulbs handy in your flashlights (preferably attached to a firearm of some kind). for the speedy zombies that can jump and climb, you're going to need a vehicle that can outrun them, and prevent them from entering. steal a brinks truck, or the A-Team van.
 
Don't stay near a high population area. Fortifying your home is a bad bet since Austin has a population of more than 650,000 and growing. You've got to play the numbers game first, then worry about the other survival issues.

Get a good vehicle that can go off-road, and at the first sign of zombie apocalypse, get out of town fast. Find a small Texas town nearby with a population of 1000 or less so you have fewer zombies per capita to guard against. Raid the local Megalo-mart for some small arms, bullets, canned goods, and cold weather gear. Then you are ready to search for a settlement in Big Bend, really close to an artesian well and really far from anything else. If you can find a home on a mesa or a butte, then you are completely golden. You'll have easy survey for miles around, easy shots for anything in range, you'll be inaccessible to all but rock-climbing zombies that probably won't be able to catch your scent anyways since the drafts in the canyon will confuse the source. Be sure to grab a radio at the Megalo-mart too. You'll want to monitor the frequencies for news from atop your mesa home.

Many of these purchases can be excused as idle hobbies to your wife, without all the hubbub about storm windows in the middle of Texas.
 
First step, buy this book: The Zombie Survival Guide

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Second, get yourself some real weapons. I'm not talking guns, I'm sure you have those. And chainsaws actually aren't that great, it has too much chance of getting some zombie spray in your mouth, which then makes you a zombie. No, I'm talking a heavy duty crow bar, or a good, solid, 6' solid steel pry bar. Those thing will **** up a zombie brain, and there is much less chance of you getting zombie spray in your mouth.

After that, stick to your wits, you're a smart guy. You know that zombies don't have super strength or speed, they just have a single-minded drive and an inability to feel pain that makes them tougher than your average Joe.
 
ya'll, zombie prep is no different than any other disaster prep. you gotta have a week or two of food that is easily movable. a couple of bags of flour are super important. also a couple of bags of rice. think salt meat. beef jerky is a good example. dry ramen is another good option. clean water is also imperative, as the rivers and springs are likely to become choked with the bodies of the dead, infecting the water with god knows what, but know it will make you a zombie.

so, that said, given the amount of water you'll need to move, you gotta have an auto. a horse is right out - are you ******* kidding me?

also, you'll need all manners of firearms. you'll need a quick and dirty shotgun, a 410, a handgun or two (gotta doublefist), and a long range rifle. naturally, you'll need ammo for all the above.

in addition, you'll need a long knife for butchering prey. remember, we're talking about survivaly here. you'll need hunting skills, cleaning skills, and drying and salting skills. you're in this for the long haul. oh yeah, bring lots and lots of ******* salt.

so the plan would be to head to the sticks. know that you'll need to meet and greet with like minded folks. make yourself useful. they need to know you can hunt, clean prey, and **** up a zombie if need be. they also need to know you're no weak minded ************ who can't take his own life if infected or take the life of a loved one if you know they're going to try and feast on your grey matter soon.

so while some of you are camping on your roof, i'll be driving a cool 30 miles an hour somewhere. 30 mph, because i ain't in no ******* hurry, no zombie can go 30 mph, i ain't gonna wreck the car in a panic going 30 mph, and i get better gas mileage at 30 mph.

as a matter of fact, while some of you are panicking and picking off the neighbor kid from your rooftop, i'll be heading to the mountains, slowly but surely, hunting buffalo and deer and hoping i don't die of cholera or dysentary. rest assured, it ain't gonna be no zombie that ends me.

rookies.
 
The Zombie Survival Guide talks about how zombies freeze up in the winter, thus millions evacuated to Canada (under prepared, many people had to engage in cannibalism).

I would totally love to buy a mesa. Alas, I never saw one for sale in all the times I would pick up the Alpine and Ft. Stockton newspaper just to read the property ads. I am about to build a cabin, but maybe I'll alter my plans. New idea: 12' x 12' concrete block dry-stack cabin, on top of a poured concrete footer. Here is the kicker: two stories high, with no windows or doors on the ground floor. The only way in is via a ladder the occupant can pull up with them.

34 8x8x16 blocks per course, first floor ceiling at 10 ft = 15 courses. The top level may be all wood. $1.25 per block puts basic construction costs at $637.5 plus about $200 for 2 cu yards of footer. Wood framing extra. This is very very doable. Its a hill country version of that English castle. The ground floor will be mostly storage. Eventually I can expand my concrete block cabin, making a zombie proof fortress in the hill country.
 
Clever, the simple fact that you posted this on Esther's & not Horn Depot tells me you really weren't taking this seriously enough from the beginning.

But you have come around.

Caveat: My warranty on your roof is null & void when you take a chainsaw to it. I also think the grit in the 30 year type shingles will seriously dull the chain. I see that you've decided to abandon the "house as an island in a sea of zombification" idea, so we'll just move past that.

I think a combination of Mac's large Flak Tower + your Martello's would make a nice community if it can be safely installed up near an Alpine area. You get the benefits of colder weather in more ways than just zombie prevention* & it will @ least slow down the undead in a summertime day with highs in the upper 60's.

You've got your ability to make water in times of snow, clearer lines of sight as opposed to the scrubby land in Texas, headwaters in the more moderate months... lots of benefits.

So, alpine region installation of a networked series of easily defensed towers. If you were able to secure a lake or two of sizeable dimension, this would be tantamount to having a maintainable fish resource as well as potable water.

Chainsaws - use for urgent building needs but then save for emergencies later on. Fuel will become a rarity, so don't waste it.

Buck saws, axes, hand saws, etc. Keep on hand & try to use for every day needs. Machete & misc. knives. Keep filing tools / stones on hand & learn how to properly sharpen equipment.

Wood. Limit fires to scraps where possible; save the longer, more solid pieces for construction & repairs. Become one with the mortise & tenon method as nails & especially screws will become a commodity.

Batteries. Even rechargeable batteries have a limited life span. Solar is nice, but again - battery banking only will hold go so far. Solar should be dedicated to direct power transferrance where possible. Which brings us to:

Radios. Hand held & hand crank is going to work best. Limited 2 way communication is probably going to be the norm as batteries progressively fade away. Try to establish breeding colonies of Carrier Pigeons for the safe transferring of messages & information. If towers are within visible range, binoculars / fixed telescopes & semaphores are going to really be the most efficient way around the battery limitations of tower to tower contact.

In the event of any type of overhead viewing (aliens, other cold region based scientists who have devised zombie repellant & have the ability to levitate or fly to outer regions & distribute this new product), we should also have written characters visible from the air or maybe even space (ex: see the somewhat recent thread about letters carved / written in trees out of a few hundred acres & visible from 20,000 feet). If you're worried about aliens bent on destruction, well there's no sense pretending you're not there because they'll spot your construction anyhow & won't wonder for 30 years if it's natural vs. made by an intelligent life form.

Weapons - for defending the towers, grape shot type short range cannonade is best; maximum accurate range of about 50 yards is really all you need as zombies mostly attack en masse vs. individual infiltrations (although Sylvester Stallone did make some serious coin on the idea of a one man zombie mission). I would also suggest a series of trip wires connected to bells or other non electric type early warning devices. 1 foot off the ground should be sufficient as zombies don't lift their feet & @ this kind of height, most people should be able to see it. Maybe use orange coated wire for better visibility & less rusting / degradation. Zombies don't care about color, it would seem, so paint away.

--Individual defense would suggest shotguns as being tops, as described effectively in prior posts.
--Reliability of a revolver vs. speed of a semi would lean toward a revolver (speed only induces waste of ammunition as described above).
--Long range rifles for harvesting food stuffs.

Medical care & triage - Mrs. Mac would probably be our best resource in this area, however there should be a specific set of guidelines as to what the gestation period is for converting to zombie-ism, what is mere drunkenness (i.e. a zombie-LIKE state) vs. a true conversion zombie-ness.

As for vehicles, yes - a 4x4 is going to be best & a horse, however novel & Red Dawn like, is just too much maintenance & a serious drain on water resources. On the one hand, I like the idea of a tube frame, heavily articulated chassis rig, aka a hopped up Jeep, however sometimes smaller & more compact is better. The drawback to an open bodied Mule or 4 wheeler is obvious should you have to plow through a massed crowd of zombies. For this balancing act of reasoning, I'll go with a mildly hopped up Jeep with 30" tires & a front or rear mountable (moves from hitch points) winch pulling an easily detached trailer with oversized tires on it as well.

More later as I think of it.

*Don't even get me started on the Killer Bees. It seems their interbreeding with domestic bees has them moving into regions previously thought to be out of climatalogical reach.

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Get some dogs with good hearing and smell. They'll be better for alarm instead of defense. Maybe a couple of small varmint dogs for pest control too.

Screw the prybar, it'll slip outta your hand the minute it gets some slippery zombie gore on it. Get a forged all-metal Craftsman hammer with a no slip grip. You can get them cheap at Sears, along with a good hatchet.

Man, I wonder if you could get a contractor to build a zombie-proof home and sell it to rich folk.
 
You are all neglecting one of the most important items; the still. Much like relocating to oklahoma, a sober life in a tower, hiding away from zombies, really isn't much worth living.
 
You really want to limit your animals to ones that aren't going to a) take up much room & b) eat without contributing to the cause (i.e. give back a consistent food source). For this reason, I suggest geese. They are great alarms - honk @ the slightest concern & I don't know whose side employed them, but I heard they were on the no man's land for the border between East & West Germany. Probably the Russkies 'cause they wanted to know who was going to try & ditch.

As for prybars, crowbars, etc. they make great tools but are too prone to splattering. I like a machete for close quarters so that way if you're using a sharp machete you might have a chance to cut clean through & get very little back on you. Have leather straps on them so you'll be less prone to losing it when the goop gets a flying. Which leads me to:

Bunny / Clean Room suits & disposable masks / visors. Wouldn't hurt to have an autoclave system or two & a functining / workable plan of action to follow EVERY TIME you have a potential contamination event.

It wouldn't hurt to have a 2 or even 3 stage cleaning station established.

My new question is how are zombies coordinated? Is there a zombie leader or do they move somewhat autonomous? Does one sniff human flesh or blood & then somehow telepathically transfer this info to other zombies in a bit of a daisy chain-like series or is it a centrally expanded knowledge, i.e. hub & spoke with ever expanding networks like this?

If there is a zombie king, how effective would it be to take this perrson out? Is there any lag i n zombie efficiency or effectiveness while they caucus to elect or coronate a new zombie king?

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A little out of the box ...

One weapon that zombies always fall for is the helicopter blade. If there is a helicopter spinning somewhere, you can bet a zombie will walk right into it.

If one could somehow create a perimeter of helicopters buried to where their blades are about 4 feet off the ground, and have a sufficient supply of fuel to keep the running, one could make a fairly peaceful life inside, while not just surviving, but reducing the number of zombies out there. It could be as big of a community as you want. Only limited by the number of helicopters you could use as your fence.
 
What about other humans?

I mean honestly... with you being the only prepared ones out there... Aren't other surviving humans going to be smart enough to get to your homes? That to me would be the real trick... you won't kill them until they turn..
 
We're wasting our time and effort. The work has already been done for us. I give you Ft. Jefferson off the coast of Florida. It might need some improvements but unless zombies can start swimming, it's pretty secure.

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Pretty much zombie proof with the exception that your going to need some help to man it.

If you don't feel like traveling that far south, there's Castillo de San Marcos in San Augustine farther up the coast.

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There are advantages to being on land. A little excavating and the moat can be flooded again as well as significantly widened. Same drawback as Ft. Jefferson in that you'll need folks to help garrison it.

With modern weaponry, fewer shooters would be needed unless you were under full scale zombie attack. But we all saw what Ash did with just a shotgun and some retard villagers.
 
Re: Within 200 miles of Austin.

Since this has somewhat turned from "close to Austin" into "best possible response if you were able to get enough advance knowledge the **** was going to go down", I'd think Mac's Fort Jefferson idea needs a look into. Keep in mind that this is with a great deal of uncertainty as to how long the zombie infestation / plague can or will go on. Do zombies die off if they don't get fresh brains? Will they eventually get tired of waiting for you to come out & play?

Bennies:
1. Remote.
Q: I will assume the undead don't swim. Would they then walk (arms outstretched, which is one reason why they don't gain much speed; not swinging the arms has it's drawbacks) into the ocean & along the sandy bottom until they reach their destination?
2. Vertical scaling difficult to impossible for zombies.
3. Temperate climate.
4. Never need to refill the moat or worry about it going dry.
5. Span of ~70 miles between Key West & Fort Jefferson. Lots of fish available; the "Tortugas" in Dry Tortugas means turtle in Spanish & this is an abundant meat source provided it's not abused.

Negatory:
1. Remote. No easy way to re-provision.
2. No raw material for repairs or additions.
3. Tight space only allows for so many residents; population control will have to be strictly enforced.
4. The "dry" in Dry Tortugas was a warning to anyone reading a maritime chart that they had NO water. The only source of water is rain collection. Granted, modern technology allows for desalination, however that's not always the easiest given such tight confines.
5. No easy way of communication with the outside world once batteries die out. No possibility of establishing a close chain of other like minded people.
6. Hurricane Alley. The buildings have fared quite well in the face of the many hurricanes & tropical storms that have made direct hits, however this can't be easy if you're trying to populate it with even 100 or more persons.
7. Salt air. Nothing lasts forever in that kind of climate. See # 2.
8. Boredom has GOT to settle in @ some point, I guess. Granted, if you like to dive or snorkel then this is an easy one.
9. Climate. Hot as freaking hell & 10x worse for humidity in the summer. Humidity also adversely affects dry powder & any gunpowder.
10. If zombies did get a whiff of you & they did decide to trudge all the way to the Dry Tortugas, would fish along the way take nibbles off of them? & If so, would these fish then become the zombie fish?
11. Proxmity to Haiti which is generally considered zombie ground zero. Certainly being on the Island of Hispaniola would be worse, however that kinda closeness is rough on a person's constitution.

For this reason, I'd guess that if you HAD to make your stand in this sort of an environment, Saint Augustine or maybe Fort Sumter might be good choices.

The climate in San Francisco makes Alcatraz unlikely, although for sheer size, proximity to raw material (provided you can sail the bay) + difficult currents & cold water (see info re: zombies & cold) make this a choice worth looking into.

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