How do I eat a new sandwich?

Whatever you do man, if the sandwich starts to fall apart whichever way you decide to try and eat it, take it as a lesson that maybe you should move on to a different sandwich. There are so many sandwiches out there that look much easier to eat. I mean, look at that thing!
 
OP:
Just looking at that picture gives me gas. Don't let us know how it came out.

plumporange:
"Aint no [sammich] like new [sammich]."
 
Listen, I know right now this all seems new and exciting but I urge you to be careful, use a napkin. Eat them all, Sandwich's, Po-'Boy's, Sub's, Hoagies, even Mufelata's, hell experiment and see what tastes best to you

Just don't go overboard and get into weird condiments and fixin's. You're not into Wraps are you? not that there's anything wrong with that.
 
No YuppiePrick, found those fabulous sandwiches right here in good ole Austin, Texas.

Okay, while I didn't actually 'pay' for those sandwiches - they weren't cheap sandwiches. They were 'loaner' sandwiches.

Not to be confused with 'loner' sandwiches that ride red bikes with bells.
 
Look, your obsession with this sandwich and refusal to let it go just reminds me of...

Pepe.gif
 
Geez, I hate it when sandwiches start to fall apart on me...but there's nothing worse than the 'emotionally unavailable' sandwich down at Scholtz's.
 
Thank you for posting that picture, BostonRC. That's quite a hog you have there. I was skeptical about whether or not it deserved a profound name like Flowing River of Life, but I can see now that it does. Frankly, I'm surprised that sandwiches aren't just throwing themselves at you when you're on that thing.

More importantly, this still picture of you in a staged, non-threatening environment leads me to believe that you are probably not an axe murderer, which is I'm sure the message you were trying to get across in posting it. To be honest, I assumed you were an axe murderer when you first came to us for help. I think everyone did. It's just the first thought that pops into most people's heads when someone asks them for advice. But now you have convinced me I was wrong about you being an axe murderer, so I feel more comfortable about helping you.

However, I think I still need to know more about you before I can recommend the best possible way to eat that sandwich. Do you have any talents or hobbies? For example, are you good at archery? If you are, that would demonstrate a great ability to focus, which is a big turn on for sandwiches.

Sandwiches often say stuff like, "Oh, I like guys who can make me laugh, who are fun to be around even if we aren't doing anything, blah blah blah," but they don't mean any of that crap. Sandwiches want a guy who would order them 5 times in a row using various methods even when the store is sold out, or a guy who would watch over them secretly for 20 years even if someone else bought them. Guys like that make sandwiches feel secure.

Finally, don't worry if it seems like you are taking a long time to eat the sandwich. Several months is nothing in the grand scheme of things, because the window of opportunity to eat a sandwich stays open forever. The important thing is that you cover all your bases and make sure everything is perfect when you do eat that sandwich. Just keep working with us, and we'll have you eating that sandwich in style a month or two from now.
 
So it continues ...

I think I'm going to walk around in my back yard for a while and then come back inside and make a sandwich.

I have some fixings ... it'll probably be tuna fish. Mmm, tuna fish. I have some mayo and some carrots that I might shred to mix in with it. Then I might throw some spinach on it to top it off.
 
Look man, I hate to break this to you, but that sandwich has been around. I used to have that sandwich late at night after drinking when nothing better was available. Me and two of my friends even shared it one time.

Don't get me wrong, it was good, but nothing you want to commit to. Not the kind of sandwich you'd take home to mom.
 
It seems that Bozo and I might roll in the same circle. That sandwich has been passed around to many a dude after a long night of drinkin' at the Boar's Nest.
 
sandwiches come and go. don't get too wrapped up on one particular sandwich. for every sandwich you might think is the new greatest, i've seen better at the union. and there's more than one way to each the sandwich, according to some round here. there's a special word for it
 
Begin at the rear and work your way up...you can never go wrong by working your way up from the bottom. (For all who know me, I am working without a z)
smile.gif
 
What makes it Australian?

Does it have egg on it? If you want to honor its heritage, I suggest it be eaten with Tomato Sauce. Everything is eaten with tomato sauce down under, including eggs.
 
Oh, it's an Aussie alright....of course it's missing it's shiny wrapper, but I can still tell by the size....and no tomato sauce...a cream based sauce, please.
 
I've been around the block...many times.
I can tell you, any intense relationship with a sandwich eventually turns into ****.
Let it go, man....let it go.
 
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