Snoop_Dogg
100+ Posts
Wow, this is so incredibly surreal. I never thought I would be making a post like this.
A year or so ago, after I quit smoking and we were about to buy our first house, I noticed something rather odd. I was having trouble swallowing certain foods. I thought, hey, thats peculiar, and just went on with life. Buying the house, more money coming in, wife had a good job, kids were doing great, moving, everything was coming up roses.
Till last September.
I began choking on damn near everything I ate. Even water was getting stuck. So, I go to my PCP, and she tells me it's nothing, take some Prilosec or something and the esophagus would heal itself and I would be fine. Two weeks later, I was in the hospital with horrible chest pains and still not able to swallow food.
The hospital visit got me a quick referral to the GI specialist, who while listening to me swallow with a stethoscope, got an odd look on his face, turned to me and said that I have something seriously wrong and need to have an endoscopy. This was October 8. Who knew this next week was going to suck so bad?
On October 12, I had the endoscopy where 17 biopsies were taken, and they dilated my esophagus. I was told that I had an incredible amount of scarring, nodules, and ulcers in there. I was to take my meds and await the pathology report.
I got the report back which confirmed adenocarcinoma, but it was in the early stages. Still, the doctor informed me that the odds were not all that great.
After that, the cancer has progressed, and made life much worse. I am pretty much in pain management mode, and the things we are discussing, well, ****, just dont seem real. I keep thinking this is a bad nightmare, that I am only 33, and cant possibly be discussing what my funeral arrangements will be, what role my dad and his wife will play in helping my wife raise my kids, getting my will set up, and making sure my wife knows how to take care of everything once I am no longer able to.
My daughter, who is only 4, has a full grasp of the fact that daddy has cancer, and is by my side non stop. The boys, ages 6 and 7, have been little troopers, and have actually helped my dad deal with this. Most people dont know what it is like to be talking about cremation, and look over to see your dad in tears, having to deal with this. My god, I wish no one ever had to go through this.
My impending demise I have come to grips with. What I face, in that regard, I can handle, for I really have no choice. The daily hurt I see in my daughters eyes, and in my dads eyes, as well as everyone around me...that is the hard part. I dont ask that anyone pray for me. But I do ask that, if you find it in your heart, to pray for my kids, my wife, and my dad, who are having such a hard time, and will have to carry on when I can not.
I do have a blog posted HERE, but it is rather depressing to read. Things went to hell rather quickly, but in some respects, I think we are getting back on top of things that we can get back on top of.
Thanks for hearing me out on this. I appreciate it.
A year or so ago, after I quit smoking and we were about to buy our first house, I noticed something rather odd. I was having trouble swallowing certain foods. I thought, hey, thats peculiar, and just went on with life. Buying the house, more money coming in, wife had a good job, kids were doing great, moving, everything was coming up roses.
Till last September.
I began choking on damn near everything I ate. Even water was getting stuck. So, I go to my PCP, and she tells me it's nothing, take some Prilosec or something and the esophagus would heal itself and I would be fine. Two weeks later, I was in the hospital with horrible chest pains and still not able to swallow food.
The hospital visit got me a quick referral to the GI specialist, who while listening to me swallow with a stethoscope, got an odd look on his face, turned to me and said that I have something seriously wrong and need to have an endoscopy. This was October 8. Who knew this next week was going to suck so bad?
On October 12, I had the endoscopy where 17 biopsies were taken, and they dilated my esophagus. I was told that I had an incredible amount of scarring, nodules, and ulcers in there. I was to take my meds and await the pathology report.
I got the report back which confirmed adenocarcinoma, but it was in the early stages. Still, the doctor informed me that the odds were not all that great.
After that, the cancer has progressed, and made life much worse. I am pretty much in pain management mode, and the things we are discussing, well, ****, just dont seem real. I keep thinking this is a bad nightmare, that I am only 33, and cant possibly be discussing what my funeral arrangements will be, what role my dad and his wife will play in helping my wife raise my kids, getting my will set up, and making sure my wife knows how to take care of everything once I am no longer able to.
My daughter, who is only 4, has a full grasp of the fact that daddy has cancer, and is by my side non stop. The boys, ages 6 and 7, have been little troopers, and have actually helped my dad deal with this. Most people dont know what it is like to be talking about cremation, and look over to see your dad in tears, having to deal with this. My god, I wish no one ever had to go through this.
My impending demise I have come to grips with. What I face, in that regard, I can handle, for I really have no choice. The daily hurt I see in my daughters eyes, and in my dads eyes, as well as everyone around me...that is the hard part. I dont ask that anyone pray for me. But I do ask that, if you find it in your heart, to pray for my kids, my wife, and my dad, who are having such a hard time, and will have to carry on when I can not.
I do have a blog posted HERE, but it is rather depressing to read. Things went to hell rather quickly, but in some respects, I think we are getting back on top of things that we can get back on top of.
Thanks for hearing me out on this. I appreciate it.
