Rome Rips the ags

OrangeChipper please edit the first of your last two succesesive posts, the trick is to use spaces or enter, that way you do not break the horizontal scroll.
 
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Thees ves heerd oon Jeem Rume's redeeu shoo recently. Fur thuse-a ooff yuoo vhu dun't knoo vhu Rume-a is, he-a is a neshunelly syndeeceted spurts telk shoo persuneleety besed in Celeeffurnia veet nu oozeer cunnecshuns UT Texes. Yuoo see-a, ISPN is spendeeng zee seesun fullooeeng zee A & M Fuutbell teem fur sume-a ducoomentery. Vell, I gooess Rume-a hes sumetheeng UT sey ebuoot zee Eggeees & Cullege-a Steshun. Here-a it gues: "Zeey vun't shoot up. Zeey hefe-a UT gu oon ebuoot spureet, und oold ermy, und red ess, und hoo bunffure-a represents zee boorneeng senseshun zeey hefe-a in zeeur ureene-a UT beet UT, und bleh bleh bleh. Shoot up. Yuoo stert UT get zee feeleeng zee inture-a schuul ves booeelt UT speete-a UT. Furget zee fect thet vhee zee Texes Legeesletoore-a beck in zee 1870's pessed legeesleshun UT stert a stete-a uneefersity zeey elsu deceeded UT hefe-a a soobseediery brunch ooff zee meeen schuul(Uneefersity ooff Texes) thet vuoold teech egreecooltoore-a und mechuneecs. Eggeees lufe-a UT sey zeeur schuul is oolder, frum vhere-a zeey get thet I dun't knoo......zee fect is, zee Stete-a intended A&M UT be-a a brunch ooff UT. Zeey ere-a leeke-a zee effterburt frum zee ooreeginel creeshun. Leeke-a Dunny Defeetu in "Tveens". Su zeey epperently hefe-a thees cumplex, su mooch su, thet zeey moost defute-a zeeur inture-a schuul UT tryeeng UT prufe-a UT UT thet zeey ere-a joost es guud. Ell zee vheele-a, nubudy et UT deneees thet A&M is a guud schuul, yet zeey vun't shoot up. Su zeey vreete-a a feeght sung......ebuoot?....Texes, und hoo zeey vunt UT beet zeem. Zeey hefe-a a Feesh Cemp fur freshmun vhere-a zeey tell zeem hoo bed Texes is und hoo guud A&M und ell its tredeeshuns ere-a. It is zee vurld's lergest knoon cese-a ooff penees infy, und it is muneeffested in iferytheeng A&M dues. Zee peuple-a et A&M. Noo ve-a ell hefe-a freeends vhu vent UT A&M oor ere-a et A&M. Zeere-a ere-a sume-a neece-a peuple-a zeere-a. Hooefer...zeere-a is zee Curp. Iest Texes' unsver UT dreems ooff ROTC keeds iferyvhere-a. Fur ifery buy scuoot vhu nefer leerned UT stup pleyeeng veet hees GI Jue-a Tuys, zeere-a is zee Curp. Noo, furget zee fect thet A&M veell ectooelly let peuple-a veet soob-per gredes inrull iff zeey egree-a UT jueen zee Curp. Furget zee fect thet zee Curps luuked leeke-a a Gestepu hete-a relly vheele-a beeteeng doon stoodents oon Kyle-a Feeeld in 1995. Furget zee fect thet elung veet zee noomeruoos hezeeng cherges thet hefe-a beee feeled egeeenst zeem, und svept under zee roog oofer zee yeers, zeey joost thees pest munt hefe-a hed oone-a Curps member breeng cherges egeeenst unuzeer Curps member vhu epperently hed beee prupuseeshuning oozeers fur a leettle-a ectooel sudumy. Nut oonly cuoold I gu oon veet mure-a instunces ooff ideeucrecy by zeese-a Khekee-cled-shefee-heeded-durks, I em soore-a iech ooff yuoo hefe-a yuoor oovn stureees. Zee pueent is: Ve-a ell respect Vest Pueent, Unnepulees, Zee Eur Furce-a Ecedemy; hooefer, nubudy respects zee Curp. I imegeene-a zeey ere-a keend ooff zee loogheeng stuck ooff zee meelitery vurld. Joost becoose-a yuoo dress leeke-a zee Ermy, und try und ect leeke-a zee Ermy, dues nut meke-a yuoo zee Ermy. Peuple-a et A&M dun't ifee respect zeese-a cloons. It is nut cuul UT shefe-a yuoor heed und dress up. Hellooeee is oonly sooppused UT be-a oone-a dey ooff zee yeer. Iff yuoo vunt UT cerry goons und beet up ceefiliuns, mufe-a UT Isreel. It is ifee less cuul UT slubber oon sumebudy's dooghter oon neshunel telefeesiun und cell it a tredeeshun. Dry hoompeeng 18 yeer oold gurls in zee stunds et fuutbell gemes is nut cuul. Nut oonly is it nut cuul, it shuoold be-a egeeenst zee lev. I knoo thet in Cullege-a Steshun, stoodents ere-a joost prune-a UT muoont iech oozeer oon zee cempoos levn, oor in zee meeddle-a ooff cless, oor unyteeme-a unytheeng guud heppens yuoo cun joost greb zee gurl seetting next UT yuoo und stert soockeeng oon her fece-a. Boot iferyvhere-a ilse-a in zee vurld, it is luuked doon upun. Ispeceeelly iff yuoo ere-a dueeng it oon my TF. Thet is vhy ve-a hefe-a mufed zee geme-a frum Thunksgeefing. Becoose-a peuple-a ecruss zee neshun vere-a geggeeng oon zeeur toorkey vhee in zee meeddle-a ooff vetcheeng a fuutbell geme-a, sume-a buy scuoot is tungooe-a thresheeng sume-a ooferveeeght cu-id dooreeng sumebudy's Thunksgeefing deenner. Ve-a du nut need UT see-a boorly vumee ingeged in a soockffest ifery teeme-a yuoor vueffool ooffffense-a muneges UT poot pueents oon zee buerd. Sume-a ooff zeese-a gurls ere-a in desperete-a need ooff a treep UT zee Cleeniqooe-a cuoonter. Scroo thet, furget meke-a-up, it is tuu lete-a fur thet, joost geefe-a zeem a feeel. "t.u." is nut foonny. It is NOT insoolteeng. It is doomb. Joost imegeene-a iff fulks frum Texes kept telkeeng ebuoot M&A und geeggling. Thet vuoold nut be-a foonny. In fect, it vuoold be-a reterded. Thet's vhy UT funs dun't du it. Pleese-a leern. Yuoo vunt UT luse-a zee imege-a ooff cuoontry boompkeens, ooff a peuple-a fund ooff sheep, ooff peuple-a thet eren't stoopeed? Zeen qooeet booeelding theengs thet fell doon. Qooeet cheseeng cheerleeders eruoond veet svurds oon neshunel TF. Qooeet vhuupeeng in choorch. Qooeet vhuupeeng pereeud. Qooeet pootteeng up scurebuerds fur zee injuyment ooff deed memmels. Qooeet spendeeng yuoor Freedey neeghts precteecing hoo UT yell. Qooeet telleeng repe-a jukes UT repurters vhee yuoo're-a roonneeng fur Gufernur. Vhee yuoo ere-a feelling oooot seesun teecket renooels, und zee furm esks fur yuoor phune-a #, H & V, qooeet pootteeng 258-3999, Heeeght 6'3", Veeeght 185. Joost, cullecteefely, stup mekeeng esses ooff yuoorselfes. Gu UT Iest Texes, tuoor ifery smell toon, und esk ifery red neck veet a 5t grede-a idooceshun vhy zeey cheer fur A&M und veer meruun. Thet is yuoor fun bese-a. Thees is vhy yuoo ere-a perceeefed by zee idooceted messes es stoopeed. Nubudy ceres iff yuoo theenk yuoor bund is better. Zeey meeght be-a luooder, zeey meeght merch in neet leettle-a zeeg zegs, boot zeey hefe-a nu mooseecel ebeelity. Zee pueent is, nubudy ceres vhu veens helffteeme-a. Qooeet getteeng geeked up ebuoot mercheeng bunds. I feend it herd UT beleeefe-a yuoo stuud thruoogh yuoor heegh schuul bund's inture-a helffteeme-a perffurmunce-a. Und vhy? Coose-a nubudy cered zeen und nubudy ceres noo. Ploos, yuoo cun heer zeem feene-a seetting doon ifee iff yuoo du cere-a. Vhy is it cuul ell ooff a sooddee noo thet yuoo're-a in cullege-a? Mee shuoold nefer let oooot heegh peetched vhuupeeng suoonds. Perheps zee oonly joosteeffieble-a seetooeshun in vheech thees cun be-a tulereted is perheps dooreeng un unel prube-a. Ooh veeet...I understund noo. Dugs ere-a nut ledeees. Zeey dun't luuk oor smell leeke-a ledeees. Dugs iet zeeur oovn feces und shuoold be-a treeted eccurdeengly. Feenelly, Cullege-a Steshun is un erm-peet ooff a toon. Qooeet pretendeeng thet it is a greet cullege-a toon. It is a toon und zeere-a is a cullege-a zeere-a. Thet shuoold be-a zee ind ooff thees cumpereesun. Iff yuoo feel thet leeffe-a duesn't get uny better thun zee Deexie-a Cheeckee, und injuy beeeng stoock in a nefer indeeng "Dookes ooff Hezerd" ipeesude-a, zeen mufe-a zeere-a. Mure-a impurtuntly, dun't mufe-a UT Oosteen.....zeey ere-a tryeeng UT creete-a un idooceted, technulugeecel, und oopee meended pupooleshun bese-a. Oosteen is, und veell cunteenooe-a UT be-a, zee burthplece-a und feenel resteeng plece-a ooff ell thet is cuul. Es my freeend Stephee Juhnsun oonce-a seeed: "Iff zee vurld vere-a ifer UT get un inema, Cullege-a Steshun is vhere-a yuoo vuoold cunnect zee huse-a." Iff yuoo gu UT schuul et A&M, pleese-a dun't be-a un Eggeee-a. Gud Bless zee Greet Stete-a ooff Texes
 
goO, you are a jackass! (I know that isn't news to you)
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funny how the version at the top of this page, on the last line changed "to" into a t followed by a u, which was converted into "UT" by the auto-convert feature.
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And the multitude cometh, and turneth on the radio, and Jim Rome spake unto them. Many knoweth not who is this Rome, but lo! he hosteth a nationally syndicated sports talk show, and baseth himself in California, yet he hath not connections to Texas.

Verily I say unto thee, ESPN hath spent the season and hath followed the A & M Football team and they documenteth the happenings of the team. Seemeth to me Rome has important matters about the Aggies of which he speaketh. Harken unto him, for the words that proceedeth henceforce out of his mouth I shalt shew thee.

"Aggies shutteth not their mouths. They hath spake endless of spirit, army of old, buttocks of red, and bonfire which representeth the fire that burnest mightily and hath dwelt in their urine in order that UT might suffer a terrible defeat, and blah blah blah. They shalt speak not again. Wonder I if not the school existeth only in hatred of UT. Forgetteth ye that when the Texas Legislature many score ago did passeth legislation and thus beginneth a state university, also did they createth a subsidiary branch thereof forth from the main school (University of Texas), and forget ye that the subsidiary of which we now speaketh would teach agriculture and mechanics? Aggies loveth at all times speaking of their school being the older, yet I know not wherefore that idea did first cometh. Behold, this lie proceedeth not from God, but the Devil, which art a liar. The Lord saith that the State believeth A&M to be a branch of UT, and did create it so. Yea, they are like unto the afterbirth out from the original creatino. Like unto Danny Devito in "Twins". Therefore they seemeth to posses a complex very strange, and exceedingly so. Vowed to each other hath they. And thus devoteth they themselves and their school with them, and attempteth to prove to UT their goodness is equal unto that of UT. There is not one at UT that denyeth the goodness of A&M, no not even one, yet silence themselves they cannot do. And a fight song was composed and lo it spake only always of Texas and the desire to defeat the same. A Fish Camp for freshman hath they, wherein they tell all who desireth to listen of the evils of Texas and of A&M, even that it is more desireable, and hath aquired many traditions.

Perchance it be jealousy. For they envieth the crotch like none other before them, and this doth manifest within the multitude. Now all hath friends who goeth to A&M, and even the same dwelleth therein to maketh habitation, and lo! for some are kind of heart. In East Texas art dreams, and of all kinds of ROTC kids they dreameth much, and the Corp becometh. It was for all thy boy scouts who playeth even now with toys of GI Joe. Henceforth, forget ye that A&M hath made a way by which people may enrolleth if they agreest to joineth the Corp, terrible of grades though they be. Remember not the Gestapo unto which the Corp is made in likeness, and the rally of hatred wherein cometh the Corp to beatteth students on Kyle Field in the fourth year of the reign of President Clinton, yet all they hath done was set foot upon sacred ground. In the selfsame place there art many who would be charged with hazing yet naught is done though the sin of the Sodomites they hath requested. I could shew thee more of those fools which weareth khaki, and shave their own heads, and which art dorks. Knowest I that thou hast stories of thine own.

Yea, for West Point, Annapolis, The Air Force Academy the multitude respect, yet the Corps art despised even by all those who fighteth upon the face of the earth. Ye may seem like unto the army, and dress as the same, and act as the same, yet thou art different. Thou at A&M gaineth not respect, and clowns hath seen thy folly, and mockt it. And they hath costumed themselves on days not Halloween, yet art not cool. If ye wisheth to have guns and commit violence against the people, to Israel thou shalt travel. And they findeth a girl, even a daughter of a man, and saliva did pour forth upon her for sake of tradition, yet it wast not cool. They abounded further in wickedness, for they taketh hold of a girl two score minus two, and danceth like unto a freak and humpeth dryly, and still wert cool nevermore, even setting themselves in opposition to what seemeth necessary to become law. Verily I say unto thee that in College Station, they expecteth all on the campus lawn, or in the midst of class each other to mounteth. Whenever happenstance be observed, and perchance it be good, all the men sucketh mightily upon faces of the maidens though not one other in the world understandeth, whether hidden from the eyes of men and observed only by the Lord, or on the TV wherefore the multitude casteth their eyes, and thus Thanksgiving Day came and the game wast not. For the people cast away their gaze from the TV and chokt upon the fowl by sighting of the fat among them thrashing, while of dinner the viewers did partake, yea for the harvest wast bountiful. Needeth us not to see suckfests among thee, presseth not they face towards her, but assuage, for thou art in need of counters of Clinique, even a veil.

"t.u." giveth me nothing of which to laugh, neither art any Longhorns insulted. It be dumb, like unto the saying of M&A by fans of Texas, yet they do not do it as ye Aggie do, for the folly and stupidity they hath known, and desist. Learn it thou must. Want ye to forever rid thyselves of the image of country bumpkins, fools fond of sheep? And God spake all these words:
I Thou shalt not build an edifice that fall for want of a wise builder.
II Thou shalt not chase away cheerleaders in thine anger.
III Thou shalt not whoop in church.
IV Thou shalt not whoop outside of church.
V Thou shalt not waste away thy Fridays, doing naught but yelling.
VI Thou shalt not joke of rape, governer though you be, for it is an abomination.
VII When thou filleth out renewals for thy season ticket, and whilst in the midst of the same they asketh thee of thy phone #, H & W, putteth not 258-3999, Height 6'3", Weight 185.
VIII Thou shalt not maketh thyself like unto the ***
IX Go ye unto East Texas, tour ye each small town, inquire ye of every person, yea those persons with necks of red though they hath only a 5th grade education, and gaze upon thy fan base.
X Thou shalt not treat a dog in the manner of a lady.

For this the wise call thee men of folly, wise men caring nothing for thy band or for the victor of the time betwixt the halves. Yeah the band is loud, mighty in zig zag patterns, but believeth ye not that musical ability is required? Why therefore ye standeth? The wise careth not, for they doth know that sitting down affecteth not thy hearing. And the whooping wast high pitched, and a man did utter the same, and behold it was an abomination, and he was the father of all who desire evil sounds, even as the Devil. For when thy rear hath encounted the anal probe, you may sound forth, but only then.

Dogs eateth of their own dung and art not ladies. Knoweth not ye that they looketh nor smelleth accordingly?

Behold College Station, the town of arm-pit yet therein is told among they who dwell in it that it be great among college towns. Verily, verily, a college there is, but greatness there is not. Dixie Chickens abound, and Dukes of Hazard they live like unto. But if thou movest into Austin, wherein dwell educated, technological masses. Austin was, is and is to be, the place in which dwelleth which is cool, lo, therein is which is admirable to behold.

Thus spake my friend Stephen Johnson "Should this world get an enema, would not the hose connect at College Station?" If thou forsaketh the counsel of wisdom and goest unto College Station, I pray thee be not an Aggie.

And to thy Lord shalt thou pray, and beseech him, and yea for he hath answered saying Great is the State of Texas, and evermore shalt be so.
 
[image]This woos haad on Jim Rome's rairdioo show recentlie. For those f yow who doon' know who Rome is, he is a nationallie syndicated sports talk show personality based in California with noo other connections to Texas.


yow see, ESPN is spendin' thur seal followin' thur A & M Football team for some documentary. wal, OI guess Rome has suffin to say abou' thur Aggies & College Station. 'are tha' goes:


"thay oon shu' up. thay hev to goo on abou' spiri', and owl' army, and red ***, and hew flagfoir represents thur boornin' sensation thay hev in their oorine to thack U', and blah blah blah. Shu' up. yow star' to gi' thur feelin' thur entire school woos buil' to spite U'. Forge' thur fac' tha when thur Texas Legislatoore back in thur 1870's passed legislation to star' a state university thay also decided to hev a subsidiary branch f thur main school(University f Texas) tha would larn agricultoore and mechanics. Aggies love to say their school is older, from where thay gi' tha OI doon' know......the fac' is, thur State intended A&M to be a branch f U'. thay are like thur afterbirth from thur original creation. Like Danny Devito in "Twins". So thay apparentlie hev this complex, so much so, tha thay mus' devoo their entire school to tryin' to prove to U' tha thay are jist bairn uz good. All thur while, noobardy a' U' denies tha A&M is a good school, yi' thay oon shu' up. So thay write a foigh' song......about?....Texas, and hew thay wan' to thack them. thay hev a Fish Camp for freshman where thay tal them hew bad Texas is and hew good A&M and all its traditions are.


tha' is thur world's larges' known case f penis envy, and tha' is manifested in everythin' A&M does. thur people a' A&M. Now we all hev friends who wen' to A&M do are a' A&M. There are some noice people there. However...there is thur Corp. Eas' Texas' answer to dreams f ROTC kids everywhere. For every boo-i scou' who navver learned to stop playin' with his GI Joe Toys, there is thur Corp. Now, forge' thur fac' tha A&M will actuallie le' people with sub-par grades enroll do thay agree to join thur Corp. Forge' thur fac' tha thur Corps looked like a Gestapo hate rallie while troshin down students on Kyle Field in 1995. Forge' thur fac' tha along with thur numerous hazin' charges tha hev bairn filed agin them, and swep' under thur rug oover thur years, thay jist this parst month hev had one Corps member brin' charges agin another Corps member who apparentlie had bairn propositionin' others for a little actual sodomy. No' oolly could OI goo on with more instances f idiocracy by these Khaki-clad-shaven-headed-dorks, OI am soore each f yow hev yooor own stories.


thur poin' is: We all respec' Wes' Poin', Annapolis, thur Air Force Academy; howsome-ever, noobardy respects thur Corp. OI imagine thay are kind f thur laughin' stock f thur military world. jist because yow dress like thur Army, and try and ac' like thur Army, does no' mairk yow thur Army. People a' A&M doon' even respec' these clowns. tha' is no' cool to shave yooor hid and dress up. Halloween is oolly supposed to be one day f thur yare. do yow wan' to carry guns and thack up civilians, move to Israel. tha' is even less cool to slobber on somebody's daughter on national television and call tha' a tradition. Dry humpin' 18 yare owl' girls in thur stands a' football games is no' cool. No' oolly is tha' no' cool, tha' should be agin thur law. OI know tha in College Station, students are jist prone to moun' each other on thur campus lawn, do in thur middle f class, do anytime anythin' good happens yow ken jist fang-howld thur mawther sittin' nex' to yow and star' suckin' on her face. Bu' everywhere alss in thur world, tha' is looked down upon. Especiallie do yow are durn tha' on moi TV. tha is why we hev moved thur gairm from Thanksgivin'. Because people accrorst thur nation were gaggin' on their toorkey when in thur middle f watchin' a football gairm, some boo-i scou' is tongue thrashin' some overweoigh' co-ed doorin' somebody's Thanksgivin' dinner. We do no' need to see boorlie women engaged in a suckfes' every toime yooor woeful offense manages to pu' points on thur board. Some f these girls are in desperate need f a trip to thur Clinique counter. Screw tha, forge' make-up, tha' is anarl lair' for tha, jist give them a veil.


"t.u." is no' funny. tha' is NO' insultin'. tha' is dumb. jist imagine do folks from Texas kep' talkin' abou' M&A and gigglin'. tha would no' be funny. In fac', tha' would be retarded. That's why U' fans doon' do tha'. Please larn. yow wan' to lose thur image f country bumpkins, f a people fond f sheep, f people tha aren'' stupid? Then qui' buildin' things tha fall down. Qui' chasin' cheerleaders around with swords on national TV. Qui' whoopin' in chaach. Qui' whoopin' period. Qui' puttin' up scoreboards for thur enjoymen' f dead mammals. Qui' spendin' yooor Friday noights practicin' hew to yal. Qui' tellin' rape jokes to reporters when you're runnin' for Governor. When yow are fillin' ou' seal ticke' renewals, and thur form asks for yooor phone #, H & W, qui' puttin' 258-3999, Heoigh' 6'3", Weoigh' 185. jist, collectivelie, stop makin' asses f yooorselves.


goo to Eas' Texas, tooor every haardy-daardy town, and ax every red neck with a 5th grade education why thay cheer for A&M and wear maroon. tha is yooor fan base. This is why yow are perceived by thur hoigh-larned masses bairn uz stupid. noobardy cares do yow think yooor band is ba'er. thay moigh' be louder, thay moigh' march in nea' little zig zags, bu' thay hev noo musical ability. thur poin' is, noobardy cares who wins halftime. Qui' gettin' geeked up abou' marchin' bands. OI find tha' hard to believe yow stood through yooor hoigh school band's entire halftime performance. And why? Cause noobardy cared then and noobardy cares now. Plus, yow ken hare them fine sittin' down even do yow do care. Why is tha' cool all f a sudden now tha you're in college? Men should navver le' ou' hoigh pitched whoopin' sounds. Perhaps thur oolly justifiable situation in which this ken be tolerated is perhaps doorin' an anal proog. Oh wait...I understand now.


Dogs are no' ladies. thay doon' look do smell like ladies. Dogs ea' their own feces and should be treated accordinglie.


Finallie, College Station is an arm-pi' f a town. Qui' pretendin' tha tha' is a gri' college town. tha' is a town and there is a college there. tha should be thur end f this comparison. do yow feel tha life doesn'' gi' any ba'er than thur Dixie Chicken, and enjoy bairn stuck in a navver endin' "Dukes f Hazard" episode, then move there. More importantlie, doon' move to Austin.....they are tryin' to create an hoigh-larned, technological, and oopen minded population base. Austin is, and will continue to be, thur birthplace and final restin' plairce f all tha is cool.


bairn uz moi friend Stephen Johnson once said: "do thur world were ever to gi' an enema, College Station is where yow would connec' thur hose." do yow goo to school a' A&M, please doon' be an Aggie.




God Bless thur gri' State f Texas

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somebody needs to get that whole "rome" thing on a t-shirt.

by the way... does anybody know who REALLY composed that damn thing and how old is it?
 
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