Putting your child in 'select' sports

On the other hand, one of my grandsons has cerebral palsy.

When he finally learned to barely walk at age 2, it was with the aid of a little walker. After one surgery to straighten his legs (docs broke his legs & swiveled them, then reattached the muscles), he could walk without it except in a sidways gait. After another major operation he could lope along fairly well, but still drags one foot. He'll probably have one more surgery to help that. He has spent a total of about 6 months of his life in a lower body cast and a wheelchair, but we are estatic that he can walk.

Unfortunately he has never been able to ride a trike, bike, skateboard or scooter.....much less play a Little League type sport. As a grandpa, I do envy you being able to watch your kids doing what they can do.

As an aside, it is unbelievable how cruel some of his classmates have been to him over the years making fun of him & beating him up when he talks back to the ****** thugs (he has developed a smart mouth as a result of all the abuse he has endured).

I fear for his life at McNeil High School where he just started his freshman year.
 
ScoPro,

So sorry to hear about ykour grandson's experience. I was picked on some when I was younger, though not near to the degree you describe. It seemed though, that by the time we got to high school, especially by about our junior year, a lot of this stopped. I think the kids had begun to mature. I have few good memories of junior HS, but a lot from HS. I sincerely hope this is the experience your grandson will have.
 
Thanks, guys, but I didn't mean to derail the thread.

What's a little sad his, his dad was a very good all around athlete in his school days (golf, soccer, tennis, baseball). I think he's somewhat wistful with nostagia.
 
By the way, drove my daughter to Lexington tonite for the TX v. KY women's soccer game. She was absolutely ecstatic. The coach and players all spoke to her after the game and signed her shirt. Class team.

Not sure how this has anything to do with the topic other than to point out that - though some might view the competitive thing as a little much - my daughter loves it and was thrilled to meet the team. (How's that for a run-on?) It's late.
 
No apology needed - I know we're just discussing an issue.

You have made some valid points and I'm obviously defending my position. That being said, there are some teams that I would never let my son play on in the same organization. Teams that do pay thousands of dollars a year, travel outside the city about once a month for tournaments, scream at the kids for errors, etc. There's a coach that is seemingly always at the ballpark scouting games, even when his kid and team aren't playing. And this is for 8 year olds - get a life. My point is that it doesn't have to be that way. The parents need to decide what team they play on based on more than how good the team is. How are the parents, how many practices per week, travel, discipline, etc.
 
we agree. there are some good leagues and some good parents that ensure the integrity of the lesson is learned while teaching hard work, friendly competition and teamwork. there are other parents and leagues that don't. my fear is that with each passing year there are more leagues that don't than do. maybe it's just my fear as a father seeing the decline in select sports since i played them. once again, i accept that i may be a bit naive.
 
Just absurd. In Europe, they restrict even having soccer leagues until you're at least 8 or 10. As someone said earlier, your money would be much better invested in a personal coach who works on the fundamentals at this point. Last thing you want to do is make the kid hate the sport at an early age.
 
My take on this is to let the kids lead.

My daughter was interested in all sports and music. She played pre-select soccer with a highly ranked select organization, but when the time came to sign contracts, she chose music.

She probably will not get into Julliard or get any scholarships, but this is her white whale and I am proud of her for 1) her hard work and 2) her achievements. She made the top band at her high school as a 13 yo frosh.

My son currently plays academy and rec soccer. His joy is playing soccer and baseball. Last summer as a test during baseball season, the asst coach and I stayed after practice until he wanted to stop hitting. We went til 10:30 pm. Practice began at 6 and was done by 7:30. He was ready to go again at the next practice.

Soccer is similar, but it is also a social thing...as three other kids from his rec team play with him at academy.

The prime benefit of academy programs from ages 7-10 is the level of competition. Talented, skilled, aggressive kids playing against the same in practice and in games.

The coach is at best a tertiary influence as kids antennae is turned towards their parents and teammates.

I'd say five is too young, unless the kid just absolutely loves to be out there. Since he's not enjoying it, maybe it's time to pull the reins back or check out another organization.
 
My kids are too young to worry about this, but I have 2 nephews who love baseball. They were both selected for their LL all-star teams and play a select league also. The oldest (12) loves baseball. Can't get enough. Great hitter and infielder and then asked his dad last x-mas for lessons from a pitching coach. He's a kid that needs select to push him.

The thing that no one has brought up that is if the whole family is together, I don't see it as a bad thing. I work with so many people who never really do anything with their kids. Their nannies raise their kids. I'd prefer to have parents focused on their kids, pushing them even if they risk going overboard then ignoring them. Moderation, balance and being well-rounded would be best, but I think doing things as a family and being committed isn't necessarily a bad thing when you consider the other ways a family could be out of balance.
 
I have mixed feelings about the select movement. I was a high school coach for 15 years, 7 of those as athletic director/head football coach. I also have 2 sons, ages 14 and 11. After my team got knocked out of the football playoffs last season, I decided to make the move to administration and am now an assistant principal. The decision was influenced by many factors, but the desire to watch my kids from the bleachers as a dad rather than the town AD was the biggest.

Since my head coaching experiences were in 2A and 3A schools, and therefore small towns, I see the select movement being very detrimental to junior high and high school athletic programs. Now, let me point out that football in high schools in Texas (and probably everywhere else) is exempt from the select phenomenon because of the physical nature (injury liability) and the cost (equipment) of running a football program. But just about every other school-sponsored sport has suffered, in my opinion, because of select leagues. It is simply human nature for kids and parents to come to believe that the coach of the team they pay thousands to be a part of must know more than the coach at school, where it is essentially free to play. Even the colleges contribute to this mindset, as volleyball, baseball, softball and basketball players are more recruited now from the select or AAU circuit than from school competition. As we have seen, this can have tremendous potential for abuses and outright cheating on the part of adults, with the kids usually being the ones who ultimately suffer.

As an AD, I was quite tired of dealing with select parents and their bitching i.e. "Suzie's select coach doesn't want her lifting weights", or parents pushing their kids to specialize in one sport because their guru who is on the take tells them to. Specializiation is the death knell for small school athletic programs. At those levels, your kids have to play multiple sports for the overall program to be competitive and success (or failure) in one sport carries over into the next and subsequently into the program as a whole. When your studs decide to specialize, everything suffers and the kid unknowingly cheats himself.

Although I hate to envision it, realistically I see school-sponsored sports in the high schools dying a slow death. I know most of you outside the arena say "no way" but it is happening, believe me. Select is not the main culprit, but it is a contributor. The main effect on school sports, long-term, will be continually rising costs to run schools and the continuing rancor for support of a flawed accountability system (TAKS, etc). Even a die-hard has to come to this conclusion; when push comes to shove and a school superintendent and school board are faced with the challenge of a continually shrinking funding source, the decision to continue to fund athletics or fund more curricular programs for academics - the choice will be clear.

Conversely, as a dad, I know it is frustrating to have kids who have their priorities in place, (academics & family first) want to participate, have fun, learn and improve in athletics at a young age and have their enthusiasim sapped by a jackass coach who would rather eschew fun and fundamentals for winning the "coveted" little league crown. Even my ardent anti-select stance has been weakened by seeing my kids have disappointing experiences because of a poor coach. I don't want to compromise my long-held principles, but I am seriously considering select baseball this coming spring and summer because I feel it may lend to more control over who coaches them and who else is on the team. 3 years ago, I would have kicked you in the nuts if you told me I would ever feel that way, but there it is.
 
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