I don't know how I missed your post before. Both you and your wife and your children...well, your entire family have my prayers.
Please pardon my spelling and punctuation...I just had my third chemo yesterday and my Neulasta shot this afternoon so I am headed downhill fast.
I am so sorry for what has happened to you all. There aren't many happy words to offer, other than to say I will pray for you ALL and I hope all goes as well as possible and yes, strength for you.
I am 55 and my children are grown, so I am lucky in that respect. The youngest is a senior at The University. My husband has been a saint...there aren't enough words to thank him for all he has done for me.
Briefly...I found what they called a small lump--2.1 cm, highest grade of agressiveness. They called it Stage IIB. I opted for a double mastectomy...a good thing, because post surgery pathology report showed cancerous cells already lurking in the other "non-cancerous" breast. Also had one lymph node involved, so I don't have to do the radiation after the chemo since I went for the mastectomy instead of the lumpectomy. (They said I'd have to do radiation + chemo if there were 4 or more lymph nodes involved)
I haven't had that genetic test because there's no cancer in my family. But I worry about my daughter....
I had reconstructive surgery (10hours with the mastectomy part but I had a wonderful microsurgeon/plastic surgeion) done at the time of the mastectomy but since than I've had to have another surgery to fix a large nonhealing wound and if I had it to do over again I guess I'd wait to do the reconstruction. I just didn't want to have to have another surgery after the mastectomy...little did I know...and I couldn't bear the thought of waking up with two holes there even though my boobs were nothing to be proud of after nursing 3 kids.
You are right. It seems like years. I can't figure out how come I keep going back for the chemo except people won't let me quit. Anyway, I know it is hard on my husband...at least my kids are old enough to understand. But I have a couple of other really, really bad emotional things going on in my life, too, and I guess that doesn't help....
Anyway, this is your post and I just hijacked it. I just wanted you to know I know where you're coming from and my heart goes out to you. Is your wife's cancer hormone positive? Herceptin positive? If there is anything you can think of I can do I would be glad to do it. All of it...the hair loss, etc...you think you'll be prepared, but you're not. And I just feel ugly. Funny story, though, considering all the ugly junk that's been going on in my life: I'd been reading this Daily Bible that's supposed to get you to read the entire Bible in one hyear. Well, I'd quit reading on it a little before all this happened and when I opened it up to August 25th to start up again GUESS WHAT OLD TESTAMENT BOOK WE WERE ON??????
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JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boy, was that fitting....
My best to you, and a gentle, loving hug for your wife. Just an I'm sorry this had to happen to you.
EyesOTex