Post Your Favorite Aggie Joke

[SunBurntOrange]

Q: What is the difference between an aggie co-ed and a roll of barbed wire?

A: If you tried real hard, you could eat a roll of barbed wire.

 

[WilliamWallace]

Three aggies die at the same time and wind up at the pearly gates together. Saint Peter greets them. "We're kind of full up right now, ags, so you're all going to have to pass a test to get in."

He looks at the first one. "Define Thanksgiving."

"That's easy," says aggie #1. "We put up a tree, sing carols, and set cookies out for Santa so's he will have a snack when he comes down the chimney with our presents."

"Take a hike," Saint Peter tells him, and points to the second ag. "Tell me about Christmas."

"That's easy," says ag #2. "We are celebrating the pilgrims coming over to the New World. Mom bakes a turkey and we watch football."

"Sorry, dumbass. Go wait for the bus back to check in center. And you," he says to the third one, "can you tell me what happened at Easter?"

The third aggie grows pale. "Yes, I think so. Christ was betrayed, crucified by the Romans, and buried in a vault with a large stone placed in front of the tomb."

"Finally!" Saint Peter shouted. "You got it!"

"Yeah," the aggie continued. "On the third day his buddies went to the tomb, rolled the stone away, and stood back and waited to find out if he would come out and see his shadow."

 

[WilliamWallace]

In the U.S., we say "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your children are?"

In the U.K., they say "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your wife is?"

In France, they say "It's ten o'clock. Do you know where your husband is?"

In College Station, they say "It's ten o'clock. Do you know what time it is?"

 

[nwhornfan]

How to keep an Aggie busy..........................
(page down)

 

[nwhornfan]

How to keep an Aggie busy....................
(page up)

 

[Bill in Sinton]

Two men got into a knife fight in a bar near CS. The police are called and when they get there one is dead and the other is alive but hs 15 stab rooms. He is taken to the ER and attended to by an Aggie doctor. The doctor comes out of the emergency room and the policeman asks "How is he doing?"
The Aggie Doctor answeres "Well three of the wounds are fatal but the other 12 aren't too bad."

 

[Bill in Sinton]

A man asks his friend "Do you know how to keep an Aggie from drowning?"

"No."

"Good!"

 

[RobbyHorn]

did u hear about the aggy dog that got run over by a parked car?

 

[TexasRx]

An aggy finishes school and gets the first job he applied for: ambassador to Japan.

Problem is he doesn't know any Japanese so he goes to Japan a week before his job is to start to learn the language. His first night he goes to a Geisha house. He spends some time with a lovely lady and he hears her scream, "Yakisan, Yakisan." aggy thinks, "Wow, I just learned my first Japanese word... it must be an expression of joy."

First day on the job and aggy has to play golf with the Prime Minister of Japan. On the 4th hole the PM tees one up and gets a hole-in-one. The PM starts jumping up and down screaming "Bonsai, Bonsai". aggy thinks that now is a good time to demonstrate the new word he learned so he jumps up screaming, "Yakisan, Yakisan." The PM stops, turns, and says to the aggy, "What do you mean wrong hole?"

 

[vculou]

So theee two aggy are woaking a road and they spot a goat with his horns caught in a 4X4 wire fence and another ram was having his way with him. and the first aggy says "You want some of thatEarl?"
WelI " I dont know Butch I dont think I could get down there and my head caught quick enough to keep him interrested..."

 

[omnipresent]

I'll play..

Did you hear the one about aggy having a standing offer to join the SEC?

 

[HousHorn09]

JimBob... that one got me good. Still chuckling 15 minutes later.

An Aggie student is doing an experiment with a frog. He wants to see how far the frog jumps each time he cuts off a leg. The Aggie student cuts off one of the frogs legs and says, "Jump froggy." The frog jumps. He records in is notebook, froggy with three legs jumps thirty feet. Then he cuts off a second leg and says, "Jump froggy." He writes down in his notebook, froggy with two legs jumps twenty feet. Then he cuts off its third leg and says, "Jump froggy." He writes down in his notebook, froggy with one leg jumps ten feet. Then he cuts off its last leg and says, "Jump froggy." The frog just sits there. The Aggie says again, "Jump froggy!" But the frog just sits there. Finally, he writes in his notebook, froggy with no legs can't hear.

 

[m/]

How do you break an aggie's finger? Punch him in the nose.

Related:

Why do aggies wear gaudy class rings? To keep them from picking their brain.

 

[AustinBat]

An aggy is stopped by the police in downtown College Station, because he is out of breath and naked. The police ask him what he is doing. His answer = "I was making out with my girlfriend in the country, and she said 'Let's take our clothes off and go to town'. I guess I beat her here."

 

[HousHorn09]

$Bill.

 

[accuratehorn]

Did you hear the one about the aggy 24-hour TV network?
Neither have I.