Official Car of the Douche

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Really we are judging people by the vehicles they drive? That makes since.
 
We are not judging people by the cars they drive, you're not a douche BECAUSE you drive an Acura, its an observation that lots of douches happen to drive them.

Corvettes I agree with, but is mainly for the older douche.

Hummers, I only see women driving these.

BMW, obviously, but becoming too cliche, so the douche is branching out and winding up in the Acura.


To the guy that says he would like one of the cars mentioned but can't afford it - thats the part of the point. The douche can't afford it either, but unlike you, he goes and gets one anyway.
 
My friend was driving his dad's corvette for a while, and it was the best counter imaginable to the moronic 20-foot long S-shaped entrance ramps with low speed warnings that this city has all over I-35.
 
The H3 and the (normally leased) BMW 3-Series are very solid picks. But for my money, I'm going to go with the Porsche Cayenne. It's the ultimate car for the douche who can't decide between the sports car or the SUV to compensate for his inadequacy issues.
 
just want to clarify exactly what i am.
i have a 330i and a F150
can somebody please use the formula so i can understand my dbagness
 
As an ex-valet I concur that 3-series BMW drivers are as a whole more douchey than any other vehicle drivers. Porsche Boxter drivers are up there as well. A LOT of the guys who drive these cars treated us like piss, which is something that guys driving 5,7-series BMWs or Carreras seldomly did. They were the ones who would make sure to tell us over and over again to be careful because it was a BMW (or Porsche)
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To this day it's something I consider when looking to buy a car because I don't want to look like a douche myself.

I'm sorry of it you drive a BMW and are shocked to hear these things, but I find it hard to believe you've never heard this steretype before.




BTW I own 2 Jeeps, so I guess I ended up a douche anyway.
 
halstead is right on the money

You might be a douchebag if.....you've ever told a valet to be careful with your car because it's a [insert brand here].
 
I drive a 5 series BMW.

And I consider myself and *******, but not a douchebag. You may disagree with the latter, but may indeed agree with the former.
 
I don't agree with the BMW3 series bashing; my brother has a 330i and is an outstanding person who helps others all the time and most humble.

Why would 330i people be worse than 5series or 7series people? The bigger more expensive cars mean they are more uppity and assholish.

Reading this thread , I must say all of you missed out completely on the 2 biggest ones

1. Mercedes Benz drivers who think they are god's gift to Earth.

2. pickup truck drivers - mostly uneducated young rednecks overdosed on testosterone spending most of their time gawking at hot chics jogging on the sidewalk; or tailgating and driving like wild *** maniacs when it gives them no advantage in the long run.

Acura - wrong. Stupid answer. Why not say Honda Accord?
 
I think the hate for 3-Series drivers is that SOME of their drivers tend to act like their cars are more than they are. They act like their 328 is an M3 or M5. That their old 30K bottom of the line BMW is "The Ultimate Driving Machine." I'm quite sure the ultimate driving machine should have more than 170 HP. It goes for anyone who gets bottom of the product line car and rides the coat tails of the maker's flagship cars.
 
Honda Accord is tough to stereotype. Too many people from all kinds of backgrounds and attitudes drive the Accord. You could have probably said that about the Acura 4 years ago. But like it or not, douches are turning the Acura into the next BMW 3 series.

The 3 series it the BMW of choice for the douche because the douche typically cannot afford even a lease on the 5 or 7 or M series. It's very rare for a true douche to truly be upper middle class. As BigWill eloquently points out - the 5 and 7 series BMW driver is generally a different breed of ******* than the douche.

The redneck is also a different kind of ******* than the douche. Douches and rednecks are mutually exclusive. The closest they come to overlap is the Texas frat boy.
 
some of you youngsters need to explain to me the diff between an AH and a douchebag, because I found nothing of explainative value in BW's post.

do you really think a used 3series and 5 series are so far apart in price that the 5 is unaffordable? Prices drop and converge dramatically when models are 2-4 years old and the wannabe blingmaster can afford both IMO. What is the differece in monthly payments - about $150? Not really much.

If you are a 27 yo and you want to (fake) impress, I am guessinghe would choose a 3 or a 5 even if he could afford a 7 simply because he does not want to look like a 58 year old doctor.

Texas frat boys? You mean at UT austin specifically or generally? the Frats at UT generally are wealthier than the general student body. Frats at lesser schools tend to be more redneck but I very strongly dispute the idea that UT Frat guys have a significant redneck element. Anyway, that's a different topic, sorry to digress.

Still curious about why no one wants to bash MERCEDES BENZ ?

main question remains -- I need a good definition of "douchebag" and please parse that from the typical AH.
 
Can a non-douche please recommend a vehicle for me when I'm ready to purchase come November...regardless of price and gas mileage.
 
strongly disagree. Mercedes Benzes have become more effimiate over the years as women have started earning more money.

Mercedes is just too global with too many models to be either a man's or woman's car. Besides, the low end MB is about the same price as a BMW. C class. The CLK is a man's car?

the only Benz I would consider is the 350 SUV, black only.
 
For the 3 series you should then make a distinction betwen a 335 vs the leased 320 or so.

I'd never get a 7 series over a 3 series because of the sizes of various things here the 330 BMW is an awesome car.

I know lots of guys here making 7 figures that have 3 series cars.

I'd never brag about it tho
 
The 3-series definitely has a high d-bag factor, mostly because it is somewhat affordable to the d-bag. Having owned a 3 in the past, it is a good car that is a lot of fun to drive. I have an Infiniti now and while I like the car, it doesn't match the enjoyment factor of driving the BMW.

I also agree that anyone who has ever told the valet to be careful its a "[INSERT CAR]" is by definition, a douche.
 
I wouldn't call a Geo Storm driver a douche unless he tells the valet to "be careful....it's a geo Storm," wears driving gloves, or unless he won't stop telling you about his awesome mileage.
 
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