memorable lines from TV shows past

Texanne

Texanne

5,000+ Posts
Here's a little game for us. The idea is to post a memorable line from a television show that is no longer in production -- let's say, the show has to have been out of production for at least 10 years. And since we all know that every Seinfeld episode had at least a dozen memorable lines, I am declaring a moratorium: NO SEINFELD REFERENCES.

Give the nsame of the show, a brief description to set up the scene, and then provide the zinger. I'll start:

St. Elsewhere

Mark Craig is a brilliant and arrogant surgeon who has commenced to writing his memoirs. He's reading a section to someone (I don't recall who) and it goes something like this:

"I was in the music room that morning. My wife came in from the garden, her arms laden with flowers. 'Where should I put these?' she asked. I replied, 'Put roses on the piano and tulips on the organ.'"
 
The Simpsons

Homer takes Bart to a steel mill because he thinks he is turning gay. Homer then realizes he took Bart to a gay steel mill. A whistle blows.

Homer: "Oh my god. What does that sound mean?"

Roscoe (The steel worker): "We work hard. We play hard."

Everybody dance now comes on and all the workers begin to dance with eachother. Homer covers Bart's eyes and backs away in fear.
 
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"One more anal-probing, gyro-pyro, levitating ectoplasm alien anti-matter story and I'm gonna take out my gun and shoot somebody."

Fox Mulder
X-Files





"Heh, heh."

Beavis & Butthead













cow_rose.gif
 
Fonz: So what did you do?
Richie: We played chess.
Fonz: You played with her CHEST?

Mr. C: What did you drink?
Richie: All we had was beer in teeny weeny glasses.
Mr. C: How many teeny weeny glasses?
Richie: 72.

Hey, it was funny when I was a kid.
 
The Bob Newhart Show

To thank them for feeding him so many times, bumbling neighbor Howard Borden invites Bob and Emily to eat at his apartment one night, offering them TV dinners. But there is a lot of discussion about changing plans -- stay home or go out, stay home or go out, stay home or go out?

Finally, it was decided that everyone would go out, and Howard expresses his disappointment that he would not be providing supper.

Emily says, "Oh, Howard, it's OK ... you can cook those for us another time."

To which Howard responds, "You're supposed to cook these ... ?"
 
JuniorHorn11, I believe the scene ends with "Homer, why did you take me to a gay steel mill?"

Cheers!
"NORM!!!"
"What's going down, Mr. Peterson"
"My butt, on to that stool."
 
Cheers on a cold day ...

Hey, Mr. Peterson ... you got Jack Frost nipping at your nose?

Yeah, and now I'd like to get Joe Beer nipping at my liver.
 
Cheers..

Hey Norm, how's the world treating ya?

Like a baby treats it's diapers.
 
From LA Law, Grace and Michael had split up, and at the beginning of the next season, Grace is walking through the parking garage to her car, when Michael comes zooming up on a Honda Goldwing or some other big yuppie bike.

Michael: Grace, you look puzzled.
Grace: I don't ever remember seeing you with something so lethal between your legs before.
Michael: Well, frankly, I have never been on anything quite so responsive before.
 
Another one from Cheers

Diane: Sam what is taking so long?
Sam: Diane, I was just thinking...
Diane: Say no more Sam!
 
Another one from [Cheers, a dearly departed show that obviously deserves its own thread:

Woody has taken a job as the spokesman for "VeggieBoy", a hideous concoction made from broccoli, cauliflower and kale. Woody hates the stuff and feels like he can't shill it, so Sam offers Frasier his office to hypnotize Woody into liking "VeggieBoy." They are in the office for a long time. After about 2 hours, Woody and Frasier emerge and Woody goes to the back room.

Sam: Frasier, how long does it take to get into someone's head like that -- a long time?

Frasier: No, only a few minutes.

Sam: So what were you doing the rest of the time?

Frasier: Just snooping ...
 
Show: Taxi, which along with Cheers, Night Court, and Mash is among my favorite comedies of all time.

Setting: Reverend Jim (Christopher Lloyd) takes his drivers test.

Reverend Jim: Pssst....Psssssst!!! What does a yellow light mean?

Cabbies: (embarrassed, under their breath) Slow down.

Reverend Jim: W h a t d o e s a y e l l o w l i g h t m e a n?

Cabbies: Slow down!!!

Reverend Jim, getting exasperated: W h a t d o e s a y e l l o w l i g h t m e a n ?

Cabbies, in disbelief: Slow Down!

Reverend Jim: W h a t d o e s ....

And on and on like this through four iterations of the same gag.
The Link
 
Dammit. The software won't let me space the letters further apart.


I didn't read the thread at first, but then I saw Bevo Incognito beat me to the punch. Nevertheless, I linked it, so everybody can judge for themselves if that scene deserves two separate posts or not. I say it does.
 
The Prisoner: Number Six- "I am not a number, I am a free man."

and for something completely different

A-Team: B.A. Baracus- "I pity the fool who goes out tryin' a' take over da world, then runs home cryin' to his momma!"
 
"I'm thinkin' a motherfuckin plasma screen on the motherfuckin' ceiling....playing Scarface 24-7"

Krazy Eyez Killa
 
one more from Norm on cheers:

Woody: "Want a beer Mr. Peterson?"
Norm: "It's a little early, isn't it Woody?"
Woody: "For a beer?"
Norm: "No, for stupid questions."
 
Another one from Cheers, on a frigid day:

Woody: Afternoon, Mr. Peterson ... what's up?

Norm: My nipples; it's cold outside.
 
Homer on being an adult education instructor:

"Look Marge, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his *** on the line. And I'm not out of order... YOU'RE out of order! You want the truth? You want the TRUTH??? You can't HANDLE the truth! Cause when you reach your hand inside a pile of goo... that used to be your friend's face, YOU'LL know what to do! Forget it Marge, it's CHINATOWN!"
 
MASH -
Hawkeye and Trapper mess with Frank, which causes Frank to read his bible -
Trapper; "I peaked at the back, Frank. The devil did it!"
 
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