Making my last stand

W

Wild Bill

1,000+ Posts
I feel like George Armstrong Custer when he realized he was severely outnumbered. He screwed up IMO in his battleplan, but now it was too late for that. He had to try to head for the high ground and organize his troops is some sort of formation on the hills as they were being surrounded by thousands of Sioux and Cheyannes.

Sorry for the analogy, but I'm making my last stand against cancer and it's going to get me. I know I've posted on different parts of hornfans board about my illness over the last few years so I won't bore you with all the details. Suffice it to say that I was a healthy 35 yo anesthesiologist in 1993 at the age of 35 when I had a seizure, and the docs found a malignant brain tumor. 3 operations later, radiation, 2 rounds of chemo, and I'm still alive. I was getting along pretty well with a cane and even made it to the Rose Bowl-NC game. Last week, however, my left leg became markedly weaker, and the MRI showed tumor growth.

Now I have hired someone to be around me when my wife is at work so I won't fall over. So I guess I do feel like Custer up on that hill knowing that I don't have much time left.

I'm not old (53) and I've had a lot of time to think about this and get things in order. My 2 oldest kids (daughters 20 & 19) are away in college and my wife has a good job that keeps her busy. I don't worry about those 3, but I have a 13 yo son at home who is very close to me, and I don't want him to see me go down like this. My wife & I have both talked to him, and he understands, but this will be hard.

I don't want pity, but I needed to vent. Thanks. Time to lock & load. I ain't goin' down easy.
hookem.gif
 
Well damn. As you know, these things come back with a vengeance when they return. I hope there is something left that is effective. Your a smart doc and I imagine with your family's and treating doctors' help will come up with a best possible game plan for this.

Stay strong.
 
very sorry to hear this Wild Bill. My step-father is/was involved with clinics in Mexico that provide alternative treatments for cancer. While the word "Mexico" throws some people off- in some cases it means mainstream treatments from mainstream pharmaceuticals that have yet to be approved by the FDA. Some of these treatments are well known to extend the life of those deemed terminal by a significant amount of time. Is that an option?

Regardless- I wish you the best, and emphasize it's not the number of years we have on this planet but what we do while we're here. From what little I know of you- it sounds like you have three kids who love you dearly and that says a lot.

Please keep us informed..
 
Man....

Hopefully your son will at some point be a better person on the other side of this grave misfortune.

All good luck to you and your family.
 
Can you elaborate more on the "screwed up the battleplan" part?

Don't know if this is of any help, but I just read it today about alternative treatment in Israel (could make for a cool side trip with son)

Smart-Bombing Cancer

A brain ca patient site that I follow::

Jerry Kline

Maybe you can relate to his stories. I like reading the "News" section. Basically a journal since the time he was diagnosed.

Stay strong.
 
Wild Bill,

I will keep you in my prayers. You've fought a brave fight against a cruel enemy.

I would also like to mention that they are doing an exciting new form of research on stem cell treatment at Southwestern Medical School that has great implications in cancer treatment. The stem cells come from living people, and matches are not based on blood type but on other factors.
 
Well, you tough son of a ***** you, keep weaving and bobbing and laying good shots on your foe. You don't want my pity, you won't get it. But want it or not, you have my respect and my support. You keep kicking *** and I will keep cheering for you.

But do us this, please. Share your password with somebody sometime who will know if there is a lucky shot by your foe and you have typed your last letter. Hope that day never comes but I personally would want to know and I think a few others would as well. You deserve what we would do for you, tough SOB.
 
18 ******* years later and you are still kicking?

My friend, you have seen the enemy, and you have already shown your big brass balls.

Continue to show them. Your fight is the best lesson that you could ever teach a young man.

I'm sorry to hear about the setback, but something tells me that you'll be posting here for a while longer.

What you need to do is step into cancer's ******* ala Leon Black, and make a mess:

next time cancer **** wit you, you get in that *** Wild Bill! You immedietly get in that ***. You open that ******* up and you pull that ******* open, step inside, and spray paint “Wild Bill Was Here”. **** his whole ******* up. Eat snicker bars, throw the wrapper on the ground. Then step out his *** – and you leave that ******* wide open so that ************ knows you been there.


F Cancer.
 
Thanks for all the kind words.
Question: Why would giving out my password to a fellow hornfan reveal that I had made my last post?
I was thinking of giving my real name to NEWDOC so he might see it in the obits of Texas Medicine. I know I look there every month and have seen some names of old friends.
 
I think he was refering to having your wife or daughter etc post after you pass so we would know. You are in my prayers. May God bless you WB!
 
To borrow from a movie:

Wild Bill, "Custer was a *****. You ain't."

One day, all of our journies in this life will end. Each breath we take marks one breath closer to that last one. We all need to make each count. God be with you, and you will always be alive in the hearts and memories of those you have known and loved.

Hook 'em!!!
Sam
 
Wild Bill, you don't know me, but I often read your posts. You are my internet friend...although you don't know it. My words won't come right now. Forgive my inept post. I have "a touch of the cancer", and although it has changed my life forever, I think I am going to live as full a life as possible now. My blood work continues to be good, but recovery is incomplete. I feel like I aged 10 years since the surgery last year...but I will live. How I wish I had words for you...I have none.

I feel your pain and anxiety for your son. My son is now a sophomore at Trinity. I pretty much down played my cancer with him...didn't want him to worry. I wish I had words for you and your son.

I posted this about 2 years ago
The Link

Chip was a good friend to me. Glioblastoma multiforma took him down. Maybe his words will be of some comfort to you as I have none. I will have many thoughts and prayers for your son. This is hard.
 
Keep up the good fight.

My Grandfather passed away from a brain tumor when he was in his late 30s. I only wished that he could have been born in a later era so that medicine would have allowed him to live more of his life. I had a tumor removed from my spinal column at Seton 10 years ago and I'm reminded of it daily but I've decided to focus on the good things in life like Manny's Pale Ale and tailgating in the fall.

Move on to the next life when you're good and ready and it doesn't seem like you're ready just yet. Besides Texas will be winning some National Championships in multiple sports over the next several years and you'll want to stick around for the party.
 
Wild Bill,
All my prayers go out to your son. I am sure, no matter how tough it may be now, that he will fondly, proudly, and gratefully remember his old man and the tremendous lessons of toughness, perseverance, and faith that were taught by example. And I feel pretty good about the benefits he will receive as he applies them to his own life.

Hang tough, we're all here with you.
 
Bill, have you heard anything about Gerson Therapy?

www.gerson.org

I know absolutely nothing about it, I just saw something referring to it recently and it stuck with me for some reason, so excuse me if it's bogus but I thought I would just pass that along. There's a documentary on Netflix about it, I think that's where I saw it mentioned.

At any rate, my best wishes to you in getting through this. Lock & load, brother.
 
you've shown a lot of courage and your family should be proud. we all die, its the way we confront it that defines us.

the only thing that matters in this life is your legacy. whether it be your children, your reputation, your contributions to society, thats all that matters, what people think of you when you're gone.

I lost my father when I was 14 years old, he was 46. He went to watch me pitch that night and when I woke up the next morning he had died in his sleep. It's a blessing you have had time to prepare yourself and your family.

and remember, its not over yet. there are other people on this board that will probably go before you, this is a lesson to us all...
 
Bill, God's blessings to you and your family.

I'm almost exactly your age and I've never had to do anything like what you've been doing for 18 years. I can't put into words how much respect I have for your obvious courage.

If you've spent any sort of that prep time you talk about on your son, I know he will come through this trial. Just remember that his sisters and mother will go through it with him.
 
Sounds like the movie The Doctor with William Hurt.

My prayers are with you. The world would be a better place if you were on the other side of the operating table.
 
The LORD bless you and keep you;
The LORD make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.

Even if a cure is not in your future, may the peace of GOD which passes all understanding be with you now and always.
 
As a cancer survivor, now in remission, my prayers are on you and your family. I fought it for a year, and I thought that was tough (and it WAS tough). I can't imagine fighting it for 18 years. You've hung in there incredibly well. Stay strong and may God be with you.
 
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