Gay Marriage and raising children...

L

LondonOllie

250+ Posts
What are you thoughts on this? Suppose you come from a religious background, is it better for a child to be raised in a foster home/care home, or for them to have two loving parents that are the same sex?

I don't have a problem with gay marriage. Ideally, two loving parents in the traditional sense might be better than two same sex parents, but I do think it''s okay for adoption. I don't like the idea of creating a child by a surrogate dona purely so a couple, gay or otherwise can have a 'newborn' baby when there are so many children in this world needing a loving family


This is a video of a young man raised by two women who is defending the right for them to marry. He's a great orator and speaks better than probably 99% of our politicians when trying to make a point.


Gay Marriage and raising children....
 
That's a pretty potent and elegant statement the young man made. I'll bet it will be all for naught once the Leviticus-quotin' Bible Thumpers start ringing out their message of God's Love.
 
Sooner or later this won't be an issue at all. As I've said before, I know several gay parents and their children throw tantrums, laugh, love, screw up just like evey other kid I know including my own. Kids respond to love, so who gives a **** if it's 2 men, 2 women, 1 of each or just a single parent.
 
I have taught several students raised by gay couples over the years. The children have always been well cared for, read to, etc. I wish all of the students I have had as stable a home life as those raised by gays. I'm sure it will become more difficult for these students in school as they get older (think middle school) but that is more a commentary on society than the kids or their parents.

I consider myself a Christian and a conservative on many issues. But, the idea of gays and children that need safe stable homes goes beyond politics.

If you were unable to care for your children, would you rather them be raised in an orphanage/ foster care or a stable gay family?
 
Gay parents can be loving and smart and teach the kids they raise how to be responsible.

However, how do they address sexuality? What do they tell their kids if their kids ask? Where do kids come from? Can a baby be born from two mothers or two fathers? Why not?

What does that mean? (To the child asking)

I believe sexuality is more preferential than anything else. I know several guys I went to UT with who had sex with girls in high school, then in college slept with men, and are now married to women. What does that mean? They called themselves gay throughout college, but now are in what seem to be stable heterosexual relationships.

The whole idea that you are born "gay" and you cant change it is mostly PC nonesense. We are have genetic dispositions, but being gay is a fad, its become a trend, edgy and popular in certain circles. I am convinced that alot, cant really put a percentage on it, but a lot, of people who act and call themselves gay, completely have chosen that life style.

I think some people are born more predisposed to homosexuality, but it is biologically a defective trait. Species cannot survive with homosexuality. Its an anomaly. So it shouldnt be condoned. Accepting it is fine, but it isnt something that is inherently ok any more than down syndrome or autism is.

I believe that children raised by gay parents are more likely to experiment and choose a gay lifestyle than they would if they were raised by heterosexual parents, whether or not they are single or married.

Your environment plays a huge role in how your views are shaped. Just look at traditional values in the Middle East compared to those here. Most Americans think wearing a burka is oppressive because women cant show skin. Its a different mind set, not one that we are genetically born with, but one that is culturally developed.

Thats my opinion on this anyway. Gays should have rights, but its a slippery slope that I want nothing to do with.
 
I would have to see a real study to form an opinion. A few anecdotes don't affect me one way or the other. I am not opposed to the idea though. I do have a gay friend in the Bay Area that adopted.
 
I didn't have a dad growing up. I would have really liked one. It's a tough one because gays should be able to be with and marry whoever they want. I'm all for liberty.

When I look at my daughter, I know I'm giving her things that no woman would be able to teach. When I was growing up, I would target the ladies without dads because they were easy. Most people aren't gay, so gay couple's children will not be gay either. It would be better for a kid to grow up watching the mother and father relationship. I think I have problems with my wife because I didn't get that foundation.

I know my examples don't perfectly apply here, but shoot, I think a kid should have both a male and a female to grow-up with. I think the gay parents are a better situation than a single parent, but not as good as a traditional biological situation (with all other things being equal - money/parental skill/etc).

Honestly, I couldn't make an all-around judgment. I think it should be up to the CPS worker. If it's not likely the kids will get adopted otherwise, I have no problems with gay parent adopting. I do not think a gay couple should be held as equal with a hetero couple (all other things being equal).
 
Strictly anecdotal and not meant to indict gay parents, but when my wife was teaching she had a kid with two dads. One was bio uncle. Both gay. One a very prominent Houston realtor. Very active in kid's life - but in an activist sort of way. Didn't involve him in sports and other things most boys do. Instead they had him attending every gay pride parade in town. Now he could've chosen not to play sports. But I doubt he chose to write, on his own, in his assigned personal narrative assignment, "I am gay" as his first line and make that the subject of his paper. Kid was in 4th grade, before a lot of us dudes pop our first, ummm, boner. Kid was constantly made fun of in class, and we speculated it was largely because his dads didn't get him involved in normal 4th grade activity.

There are many cases of poor parenting on the straight side for sure. But the one above is a sad case.
 
I wouldn't make the assumption that a "foster home" is somehow less loving than a gay or straight couple raising the same child. I and my wife are foster parents and when we have kids in our home, they are indistinguishable from our "biological kids" and when they do leave..it is very difficult for everyone. The other thing is that a child in the foster system has been removed for a reason and the reasons boil down to sexual abuse, neglect, or physical abuse and sport a whole host of challenges just to function properly, so it is not fair to compare those children to how they grow up in a foster setting to a child who grows up in a gay setting in which they will never experience those types of challenges.
 
"All other things being equal" is certainly the key here. Of course some gay parents can be better than some traditional homes and some single parents better than gay parents, etc, etc. But all else being equal it is pretty clear that a family with both a mother and father trumps a gay family. There are certain things that we as children can only learn from our mother and other things that we can only learn from our fathers. It is also pretty clear that all else being equal, we are better off with biological parents as opposed to adoptive parents. That being said, any stable parenting situation is going to be preferable to any unstable one, gay, straight, grandparent, whatever. I think if you were to study the situation you may find that kids in adoptive homes or with gay parents may be better off, because those homes may be more "stable" than the average home otherwise.

Also, I could be wrong but I think the posters above meant a group home setting, as opposed to a traditional adoption when they talked about "foster care".
 
When I mentioned foster care it was more to say that a permanent home with gay parents would be better than constantly bouncing from home to home. Obviously this only pertains to children that are not going back with their parents and are bouncing around in the system.

It was not a comment on the quality of parenting goinig on in foster care. I have worked with a small sample size but have been very impressed with the quality of the foster parents. They have ALL been great.
 
For the record, I'm straight, happily married with kids. However I do have gay friends and over the years I have had plenty of conversations about this kind of thing.

Are there some people that choose to be gay? possibly, if they are a bit messed up in the head.

Do I think that the majority of gay people are born that way? Yes. Example...A good friend of mine, from the Philippines, dad was quite high up in the military, very strict Catholic family, no abuse that I'm aware of or he ever mentioned to me. When I asked him about being gay. He said from a very early age he just felt different and found boys more attractive than girls. Of course, with his background, he fought these 'urges' and his first sexual experiences were with women as he was in complete denial. Eventually he came out, but was terrified to tell his parents. His mother knows, but not his father because he would be disowned. As he said to me, why the hell would he 'choose' to be gay? He doesn't act camp and you would never know by just chatting with him what his sexual preference was. Why would anyone given a choice, choose a lifestyle that much of society looks down upon, could ostracize you from your family and friends, can put you in danger of verbal and physical abuse and assault, and deny you the chance/biological urge to have children of your own?

It makes no sense for that to be a path that most would choose.
 
However, how do they address sexuality? What do they tell their kids if their kids ask? Where do kids come from?

What? Why would gay parents lie about the basic biology of reproduction? We're not talking about fundamentalist evangelicals who choose to lie to their kids about evolution here....
 
Given that homosexuality has been observed among all higher mammals, from whales to lions to dogs to humans, I doubt that it's a "defective" trait.
 
Species cannot survive with homosexuality.

This is not true.

Being gay does not make one sterile.

Species can, and do, survive with homosexuality.
 
Does anybody remember a study that came out about 10 years ago that claimed that is it possible that higher population desity could lead to homosexuality? They put increasing numbers of animals in the same environment and witnessed a higher percentage of them become homosexual. Mother nature's population control possibly?
 
Ollie,

Why would someone want to be gay? How about the people who are loud and proud about it? Why would someone want to stick their penis into the vagina of a dog, or chicken, or horse? Or a 6yo girl or a 6yo boy?

Who would choose to do those things? If you can be born with the tendency to like the same sex, you can be born with the tendency to like a lot of things...

And I am glad someone here agrees with me that teaching fundamental biology shouldnt be disregarded if a gay couple has to talk to their kid about sex.
 
"Put gay marraige and adoptions by gays to a vote by the citizens. Make it legal...or not."

Yeah, because THAT would have worked with the civil rights movement. No need for federal troops, Mr. President.
 
Actually, voting did work with the civil rights movement, but here is big difference between the civil rights movement and deviants asking for rights. A very large portion of the population believes the deviancy line is clearly marked at hetrosexual. Free country and consenting adults can do as they please and I don't really care, but when children are involved or a deviant asks for "special" considerations/rights then it should be decided by vote of the citizens.
 
I agree with Ivandiablohorn. Let the people vote.

"In reply to:
A very large portion of the population believes the deviancy line is clearly marked at hetrosexual.

Link?"

See prop 8 in California. If I have learned anything from my time on the 40 acres its that there is an extreme disconnect between what is viewed as acceptable on the 40 acres and what is viewed as acceptable outside of the 40 acres. In the happy, liberal bubble that is Austin/UT gay marriage is accepted. With the exception of some significant places (New York, etc.) gay marriage is generally not accepted in this country. The fact that the people of California voted down gay marriage is telling.

This is not a discussion on rights. This is a discussion on how you define homosexuality. Some people define homosexuality as natural. If homosexuality is natural than gay couples are entitled to natural rights. The majority of this country at this point in time define homosexuality as unnatural and therefore not entitled to natural rights.

I believe (and I was educated at the University of Texas at Austin not some backward hick place like college station) that homosexuality is unnatural under evolutionary theory and is therefore a mental disorder. I cannot agree with a gay couple raising kids.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

NEW: Pro Sports Forums

Cowboys, Texans, Rangers, Astros, Mavs, Rockets, etc. Pro Longhorns. The Chiefs and that Swift gal. This is the place.

Pro Sports Forums

Recent Threads

Back
Top