Funniest thing you've ever seen in a bar?

Man I love the Poop Deck. My BIL and I have spent many an afternoon getting drunk afetr a round of golf until the girls come by and drag us out to dinner.

Only funny thing I can think of happened to me.

At the Buffet Club in Tucson I was sitting at the bar with a buddy of mine. A drunk old Indian guy starts talking to me and begins philosophizing to both of us about life and how young we are and all we have ahead of us, etcc......

Just as he is getting rolling he stops mid-sentence and decides to introduce himself and as I am reaching out to shake his hand 2 large strings of drool start rolling out of each corner of his mouth. I could only watch in horror as they dropped in slow motion and he had already grapsed my hand so I couldn't pull back. My buddy nearly fell off his stool laughing at the horrified look on my face.
 
I imagine I was the subject of many a good story worthy of this thread but have no recollection.

The funniest I ever saw was at Bullfeathers here in DC.

There was a old Congressman, we didn't know who he was, trying his damnedest to work a cute young lady.

We dared one of our office interns to go stick his balls on the Congressman. It was one of those drunken outlandish bets that no one expected to be accepted.

This young intern actually got up and walked over and draped his balls (fully clothed) on this Congressman's arm, which was around the young lady. He left his balls on that elected Constitutional officer for a good 3 minutes while he pretended to be an overly drunk fan of the Congressman.

Since none of us had thought to stipulate that the balls had to be exposed, we all bought that young man some beers right quick.

Man that was funny.

On another occasion, we bet the same intern that he couldn't steal a member pin (House members wear a lapel pin on their jackets to identify themselves) at the same bar. Somehow, he pulled it off (no pun intended).

That intern is legend.
 
Can these involve ourselves? I remember another good one.

The night before the A&M game in 1996, a buddy of mine and I were down on 6th street wearing Texas gear. We went into that Kareoke bar that was by Bob Popular. There were tons of Aggies in there drinking and singing bad Garth Brooks songs when I came up with an idea. We got up on the stage and said "we'd like to dedicate this next song to Texas A&M." All the Aggies start doing their whooping crap (bear in mind, we are in Texas attire, there is no reason to think this song is going to be complimentary). We then say, "Seeing as how the Aggies are 6 and 5 on the season and we are going to kick their asses tomorrow so they will be 6 and 6 and can't go to a bowl game, we're going to sing I'll Be Home for Christmas." The Ags were pissed and hissing the whole time, but the rest of the bar bought us bears all night.
 
Some dive bar in Lubbock. In the bathroom, they had shelves at the urinals to set your drinks on but they were about waste high, not above the urinals. The drunk in front of me set his drink on the shelve. His buddy next to him starts talking so, he sorts of turns to talk back. Peed in his drink but didn't realize it. Picked it up, took a sip and never flinched.
 
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