I saw a commercial on TV last night for Totino's Pizza Rolls. I gotta admit, they looked pretty good.
I don't know how they did it, but in the TV ad they had, like, six slices of delicious looking pizza sitting on a plate and then, without anyone touching them, they curled up and rolled up into these little pizza rolls all by themselves. It was almost like, the pizza slices willed themselves to be pizza rolls.
It was awesome!
I thought I might try some of them Totino's Pizza Rolls, you know, pick some up in my grocer's freezer, even though Jeno and Totino are sworn enemies, but maybe it's OK because Jeno's doesn't make pizza rolls anyway, so it's not like I'm being disloyal or anything. And then I remembered something...
You know those milk mustaches those celebrities wear in those "got milk?" commercials? They're FAKE! I found it out at a soccer tournament sponsored by the "got milk?" people. They took pictures of all the teams with milk mustaches, but they made milkshakes and had the kids take a sip. Then they snapped the photo. They told me it's the same way they do the celebreties. Those lyin' ********!
They also told me they put glue in the milk so it pours better and looks creamier on the TV ads in slow motion. ******** again!
And you know how a Big Mac looks so good on TV, everything's in place, everythings centered and it looks so tall and fluffy and delicious? But everytime you buy one, you open it up and the cheese is half off, the patty's 1/3 off the other side, the "special sauce" (who knows what they hell they put in that) is following the cheese out the back door and it appears as though some fat teenage nose-picker sat on it after he wrapped it?
I think Totino's just might be trying to pull a fast one of their own with this pizza to pizza rolls thing. I mean, I know Jesus turned the water to wine at a wedding, but pizza slices turning themselves into pizza rolls for a commercial...c'mon.
You know, come to think of it, the pizza slices, the ones that turned into pizza rolls in the commercial, the one I saw on TV, those pizza slices looked so delicious...and verrrrrry much like slices of...JENO'S PIZZA!!!
Those lyin' ********!!!