Dilemma

R

ravenhand

25+ Posts
O.K. I am getting married next year on April 4, but in order for me and my girl to do so we need to go on some weekend retreat this year that will cost 300 bucks. Well this falls on the second game of the season against UTEP.The game will be on ESPN2 and I don't think they will have a TV where I am going. The alternate to doing this weekend retreat is meeting 5 times with some married couple and doing some dumb workbook. I need advise on this. should I do the retreat and miss the second game or do the other? It is the second game of the season against UTEP, will I miss anything you think. I need help on this decision.
 
ask the priest if that retreat is absolutely necessary - the decision is ultimately up to him. Ask if there are alternatives.
 
If this retreat is a requirement for your marriage, you have to suck it up and attend.

I don't think you will miss anything. If we put away UTEP easily like we should then it's the equivalent of missing the Rice game.

On the other hand, if we play sloppy and barely hang on like we did against Arkansas State, or if God forbid we lose, then you probably won't want to witness that.
 
go with a different religion....
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but seriously, the UTEP game should be a practice, unless you are from E.P. and plan on making it a weekend family battle & plan on attending the game in person- which does not sound like your plan...

besides, as long as the wedding & planning do not occur on a home game weekend you are doing pretty good. you should be able to watch/ listen via laptop &/or radio/earphones.
 
unless you were planning to attend the UTEP game, why not record it and watch it when you get home?
 
My priest is a Hornfan, so he would actually be watching/listening to the game with you, but since that's not the case...
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Isn't it an evening game anyways? Just tune in to it later. You should be okay. Right?! I'm pretty sure everything you'll have to do will be earlier in the day anyways. Congrats btw!
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or you can do nether and get married and skip all the lame stuff......Who does that stuff anyways....is Robin Williams your preist? All sounds lame to me...if your in love you don't need a workbook or retreat to tell you this. So i choose you watch the game and burn the workbook and tell the couple to shove it
 
who do you love more, your future wife or the horns?

I love the horns as much as anyone, but you have to keep the lady happy.
 
Show your fiance that you actually went on Hornfans looking for advice on what to do about this and you will no longer be faced with this dilemma. Trust me.

Bullhorn
 
Do the 5 meetings with a married couple. You will make new friends and get more out of it. You may actually enjoy it.

Disclosure: I have done both - the retreat when I got married and then been a sponsor couple for a few couples.

Hook'em
 
You have to set boundaries in your relationship. If you miss a UT football game for this, then your future wife will think that she's more important than UT football.

You cannot let this happen. Next thing you know she'll devise little tests for your relationship, all of which involve you missing UT sporting events.

That will lead to divorce, which costs $$$.
 
I don't understand why clergy think that going to some pre-marriasge retreat is going to keep a couple together. I'd like to see some statistics about the divorce rate among couples who go to these retreats or go through this counseling.

If a minister won't marry a couple until they have the counseling/retreat, IMO it's time to find a new minister.
 
Ravenhand -

16-6 is correct, do the 5 meeting session with the couple.

My wife and I did this last year before our marriage. With me being non-Catholic I especially dreaded it. However, we ended a great counsel couple, and the 5 meetings turned out to be the best thing for us.

The meetings go by really quickly and you will more than likely find out things about your relationship, especially stuff you will need to work on, than you ever knew before.

Besides, by doing this now, instead of waiting for the retreat in September, that is one more UT game you get to attend/watch.

Seriously, do it.
 
I want to second what greatgordo said. I am also a noncatholic and I was very apprehensive. But we got a lot out of the 5 classes. I cant speak to the retreat but this is a UT football game you are talking about. Just go into the meeting open minded, we had a lot of after meeting discussions that I feel were beneficial to our marriage.
 
Retreat is the key word here....and I would recommend you do so immediately. Setting a bad precedent here. Just saying.
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WHAT BOOKMAN SAID!!!!

No woman that would make you choose between her and the longhorns is worth marrying...
 
First of all, all of this "setting a precedent" stuff is crap. This is a requirement for your marriage, not some lame party she wants you to go to with her. If she were asking you to skip a football game to go to some housewarming or something, then definitely, put your foot down. But don't give her reason to believe that football is more important to you than getting married to her.

If you don't want to miss the UTEP game, tell her that. Tell her that meeting this requirement is your first priority, but if there is a suitable alternative (i.e. the 5 classes) that does not require you to miss a game, then you see no reason not to go with that. Remember, she isn't getting married alone, so your opinion matters just as much as hers does on this issue.

If you're really leaning toward the retreat and just want to make sure you won't miss an important game, believe me, the UTEP game is the best one on the schedule to miss. As someone else pointed out, it's an away game, it's against a team Texas is highly likely to beat, and if the Horns lose, you don't want to see it anyway. Plus, it's on national TV, so if there does happen to be a TV within reasonable distance, you'll get to see it anyway.
 
I'm with Bookman all the way on this. I did all the above (full day retreat) still ended up divorced and was forced in the decree to forego my season tickets.

I would not wish that on any Hornfan.



*****!
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Well orngblud She has been extremely supportive when it comes to UT football games. She knows I love watching the games and she will work around the games on Saturdays, she will watch the games with me, be happy with me when they win and comfort me if they loose a game.
 
Go to the retreat and either record the game or have someone record it for you. That way you will be justified in putting any UT Horn game first for the rest of your life because of this sacrifice. Insurance that will more than pay for itself in the future.
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First wife and I did multiple sessions with the priest. Said he had never met a more compatible couple. We were divorced in less than a year.

Second wife and I lived in separate cities. Married after a couple of months. Still lived in separate cities for several months until I could transfer to Austin. Celebrated 22 years last February.

By the way: neither would have done anything that would have entailed missing a horns game. Not for my sake, but both were as rabid a fan as I am.
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Take the 5 days- keep her happy and go to the game is win-win.

I did a similar program through my church- helped prepare both of us for things we hadn't discussed or weren't expecting. I think it was really worth a couple of evenings to try and start things off on the right foot.

As an added bonus, the wife of the couple who sponsored us explained how she'd taken an interest in sports (particularly the NCAA basketball tournament) after she got married. Was enough to sink my wife into it- she follows that pretty closely now. And I get a lot more understanding when it comes to my football excesses
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