Being a father

zork

zork

2,500+ Posts
Any day now I am going to open a new chapter in my life. I can't wait. I'm going to be a first time father of a little boy. Well not so little my wife will say I'm sure. (probably around 8.5 lbs)

I'm giddy, not able to get work done at even close to the efficiency I am usually able to produce. It's great!

Give me some stories on your first few weeks months of new fatherdom. Or even stuff you did in the days/weeks before your child was born?
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I can't tell you how well Mac took to fatherhood. It wasn't as if I didn't know he would be a great dad.....but when our first daughter was born, his whole face lit up. Every time he looked at her, held her....he just beamed.

We were a little more prepared when our next girl came....but he still just had this amazing glint in his eyes. I think our girls could tell how much he loved them from 50 feet away.

I know it sounds cheesy, but I have known Mac for more than half my life. I know he loves me. I also know that there is nothing in this world that would keep him from protecting his girls and loving them no matter what. I don't know if he was "giddy" or not...but even now, when I hear an "Oh.....Baby M....why did you...": or an "aghhhhh! put that down, Baby M, 2!" I can tell he is saying it with absolute care. He is a wonderful Dad....100 times better than he is as a husband.....and that is pretty damn good.

It is crazy any boy foolish enough to break our girls' hearts..
 
I have a 10 year-old daughter and a 14 month-old son. It's definitely life-changing. I'll give you one minor example. I never wore a seatbelt until I had my daughter. I didn't want to die and leave her without a dad.

Wait a few months and then marvel at how everything is so new to them. Every day he does or says something brand new. It's so fun.

Good luck with your future Longhorn.
 
I was the type that wasn't even sure he wanted kids. Now that I have my 3 month old, I can't imagine living without her. You want to talk about a religious experience, wait until the first time you hold your baby in the hospital and it looks up at you with those precious little eyes. I still get goosebumps thinking about it.
 
Congrats and good luck.

Being a parent is the hardest job you will ever have. It is also the most rewarding.
 
Father of 20 yr old and an 11 yr old. Words can't really describe it. Just enjoy every single minute as it goes by VERY quickly.
 
Congrats. Parent of a 19 month old boy.

Every day gets better and better. I can't wait til he gets up in the morning just so I can see his face. I had someone ask me how my day was. I said "every day starts and ends with a hug from my son, it's a great day"
 
I've told this story here many times, so here's the Reader's Digest version:

The ex was in labor for 13 hours. When my son was born, they cut the chord and and said "Here Dad", and handed me my son just 45 seconds out of the womb.

I truly became a "Dad" at exactly that moment. My son and I had a special bond from birth. He has always been "Mine" from the start.

The ex kicked me out right about his first birthday.

Even as a toddler, he always wanted to be with me and started lobbying to come live with me as soon as he could talk. (His first word was "Dada" and that always killed the ex.)

Anyway, just as he turned four, she finally said Ok and he's been with me since.

He'll be 18 next month.

I am really gonna miss him when he's gone.







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I'm just entering into this path myself. I've got a baby that's about 16 weeks "in the oven" so we're getting pretty excited. It'll be crazy when my wife starts actually showing that she's pregnant but we're still excited all the same.

I cannot imagine what it's going to be like in the last few weeks of July!
 
Midtown hit the nail on the head. I too can't wait to see him every morning. Sometimes, when he is sleeping, I want to just go pick him up and hold him or play with him.
I've also had a similar experience as the above poster with my daughter. She and I have always been extremely close. Though she was born in and we live in Knoxville, she's the most diehard Longhorn fan I've ever seen at the age of 10. Her mom has asked me several times to talk to Caylin about how irrational her love of Texas (the school and state) is. I don't think that talk is going to happen.
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Sorry, I love this post AND you did ask for stories:

The boy fell and somehow bit his upper gum with his lip yesterday. He was bleeding all over the place. The wife was freaking out. He cried for - maybe - 5 seconds. Then, he gets his cup of milk out and start drinking it all the while he's still bleeding. My wife, who grew up with all girls, is literally having a panic attack. I'm laughing because he's laughing.

My daughter plays competetive soccer. Last Summer, she went to a Lady Vol soccer camp. There were probably about 300 kids and 200 parents standing around while the coach explained what was going to be happening. She then introduces the girls on the Lady Vol soccer team. She gets to this one freshman who says, "my name is so-and-so and I'm from Houston, TX." Caylin let out this gasp that everybody on the field heard. So the coach calls on her and asks her if she's from Texas. She replies, "Nope but I'm a Longhorn." Everyone starts laughing. Of course, on the inside, I'm thinking this is about the coolest thing I've ever seen her do.
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You'll probably lose it when the baby is born - it is all so overwhelming. The first two weeks will be bewildering - the whole, "now what?" and "this is permanent" all settles in. From there, it gets better and better. Enjoy it - we have a 4 1/2 month old boy and it is awesome!!!
 
The first time you hold your baby is the most life affirming, life changing event there is. Nine-month old twins and it is hard to remember what life was like without them. I cant wait to see them when I get home.

Everyone likes to tell you how hard it is, but no one can really explain how enriching the experience is.

Unfortunately for them, their first words wont be "da da" or "ma ma" but "Vince Young Scores!"

Occupational hazard of being born to an orangeblood.
 
My hubby was the first to hold our little girl after she was born. It was the first time I had ever seen him cry.

In those first few weeks, it was an adjustment to deal with sleep needs/work/etc. but we managed fine. He would come home from work and just hold her on his lap and stare at her. And smile. I think he walked on air (or was high from sleep deprivation...lol) for the first two months.

He's the best dad. I fell more in love with him after watching the care and love he gives to her. She is absolutely daddy's girl.

Congratulations to you and your wife.
 
Don't get your expectations up that the actual birth is some kind of shining moment. I can understand it is for a lot of people. It wasn't for me. I think i was a good month or so after that it kind of hit me. To date the greatest thing my son has ever done happened a few weeks ago. I was putting him to bed as I usually do and patting his head when he grabbed my hand and held it to his chest and wouldn't let go.
 
Becoming a father was the best thing that ever happened to me...my wife and I are just sorry we waited unitl we were 30 to have our first.
 
Father of 19, 16 and 14 year olds....

[insert obligatory "time goes by fast" comment here]

Enjoy the ride and don't let your job get in the way. I wasn't always true to that point and I'd change that if I could. I missed some little things along the way and you don't always catch the significance until its too late.
 
Tempus fugit...and quickly! It seems like only yesterday that I was waiting for the doctor to tell me that all went well and my wife had delivered our first son - but it wasn't yesterday, it was 36 years ago. My youngest - my baby - will turn 30 in September.
Enjoy every minute - they fly by in a hurry, And not every minute will be enjoyable - going to school to see the principal is not fun, going down to the police department at 3:00 A.M. is not fun - but it comes with the territory. The moment will come when you realize that your baby is an adult and has his own life to lead - at that moment you'll either be glad you invested yourself and your time, or you'll wish you had.
Now I'm enjoying another great phase - watching my children become dads. That means that I'm a granddad - and it's GREAT!!!

HornHuskerDad
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First off, CONGRATULATIONS!
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Father of an 18 yo daughter. Spend all the time you can with your kid(s). Take them places, do things with them (fishing, hiking, festivals, whatever). Be involved and supportive, but not a PITA, in whatever sports or activities they participate in.

Enjoy your time, because, as has already been said - and I know it sounds like a silly cliche - the time REALLY does go by fast.
 
Lots and lots and lots of good stuff on this thread.

Where to start.............

The day our youngest was born, I was nervous and excited. My wife had a c-section so the whole "miracle of birth" was a bit different for us. But as I walked with the nurse from the OR to the nursery, I passed by the waiting room where my in-laws were. They came out to see our baby. And I lost it. I just broke down. Hell, I'm misting up sitting here thinking about that day. It such an amazing thing to see our daughter laying there. And every day but one (January 1, 2005, hey a guy's gotta see some Longhorn football every now and then
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) I have been there to hold her, change a diaper, fix a meal, read a book, take her to the playground or just be her dad.

Our second came almost 2 years later and that day was just as much fun but so totally different. I knew more what to expect. Oour oldest daughter knew she was getting a sister. But all in all, the day was so enjoyable.

Don't let things that don't matter get in the way of being a father to your child. There is so much for you to teach them. And so much for them to teach you.
 
my kid is almost one, but i got kind of ****** on the whole miracle of birth thing.

2 months (to the day, actually) prior to the supposed birth day, it's about 10pm, and i'd been drinking since we went to dinner. not heavily, but drinking. i had gotten gears of war for christmas, and i was antsy to see what the **** the hullabaloo was about. (turns out, it was about a decent, but not MIND_CHANGING AND GREAT, game, but i digress), when my wife comes out of the bedroom and complains of indigestion. heartburn. normal pregnancy stuff. I run out and grab her some maalox, because, as the indigestion was bad enough to call the after hours doc line, that was what was suggested.

no biggie. i'm killing aliens again in no time, expecting my wife to fall into a typically fitful pregnant sleep.

about 20 minutes later she comes out and complains again. i tell her to try to **** or wait a bit. probably indigestion. wait for the maalox to take effect.

i get back to killing some aliens, although, alarmingly, the aliens are ******* my **** up. my dog comes out of the bedroom and lies at my feet, staring at me reproachingly. this staring continues through a bit of a hissed "**** you!" at the tv when the aliens destroy my **** again. that's when i started wondering if something was wrong. anytime i utter the word **** in frustration, my dog leaves the room. i guess she doesn't like bad language.

but she just lies there staring at me. i ask her what, and she sits up and whines. i get up and check her water; she's got plenty.

wife comes out again, a few minutes later. she's complaining of the same indigestion, and a bit of a lower back ache, and openly wonders if we should go to the ER. i politely tell her i'm not driving her to the ER so that the hospital can charge us $50 for a ******* tums. i tell her to take a book to the toilet and sit there and try to **** for a bit.

my dog whines, and i pet her. i continue wasting aliens and getting wasted by aliens. i pour myself one glass more of wine. i'm about ready for bed.

my wife comes out of the bathroom and tells me that in no uncertain terms we're going to the ER. my dog goes and sits at her feet and looks at me. i have an insurrection on my hands. i throw up my hands, and tell her fine, let's go.

in the car, it dawns on me that she's in serious pain. she's pretty good at hiding **** like that, but even i can detect it.

we arrive at seton southwest, and we check into the ER, and i fill out the forms a bit recalcitrantly. i give the nurse the clipboard and my wife sits down.

she's really in pain, and it dawns on me that i never told the nurse she was pregnant and that check box wasn't on the form. i get up and tell the nurse that my wife is pregnant.

oh, ****. everything starts in motion. 10 minutes later, a nurse is expressing concern over my wife's blood pressure, which is staying at a level 260/180, and her brown urine. i'm standing there stunned, realizing that some serious **** is going down.

they throw her on magnesium, and at one point, i remember the nurse telling me that i should get used to being a father sometime in the next eight hours.

that was at 3 am. 4.5 hours later i was a father. emergency c-section. i followed the ambulance from seton southwest to medical plaza on 38th.

i wasn't allowed in the OR. i sat outside with my inlaws and my best friend and his wife. it was now 7am, and i was borderline catatonic. luckily, my best friend brought some starbucks coffee. i sipped it nervously for the next 30 minutes as i awaited the results of the surgery. they came out and asked me if i wanted to see my boy.

of course i did.

they took me back, and i wasn't prepared for what i saw. a tiny little kid - 2 pound 14 ounces i found out later - was in the little incubator. he was cleaned up, but one nurse's job was to "breathe" for him, by squeezing what looked to me at the time to be a tiny little turkey baster. i was not allowed to touch him, and they rolled him away about 1.5 minutes after i first saw him to get him into the NICU.

needless to say, everything came out okay, but it came very quickly and he was in the NICU for almost two months. i got to hold him, but i never got that initial bond from childbirth. we had visiting hours for our child. after they discharged my wife from the hospital, we left our child at the hospital every night at around 10:30 pm. that's not easy. especially for the mom, but also for me and my fatherly emotional bond with my kiddo.

it really wasn't until about 6-7 months ago that i felt what i thought should be a satisfactory emotional bond with my boy. even after he came home, the wife held him a lot and basically slept with him. i mean, ****, when he came home, he shouldn't have even been born yet. he needed a womblike environment.

now he's ******* awesome. but i never got that rush of seeing childbirth. hell, the first time i saw my wife about 30 minutes after the operation, she was still under the anesthesia and shaking uncontrollably while lying under heat lamps.

looking back on it, i don't know how i made it through the whole thing. the sleep deprivation, the trauma of the whole thing, and seeing a helpless little guy there who was only breathing because a nurse kept a plastic tube in his mouth and kept squeezing the ball on the other end in a perfect rhythm. i didn't fall asleep until 3 pm the next day in the room with my wife.

but i gotta tell you, it's a trip. like midtown said, the highlights of your workday are getting up and getting home. my kid just laughs when he sees me and stomps his feet on the floor in excitement.

he's naming everything he sees now, and although everything is named "Oogi," at least he does me the justice of pointing at "oogi" so i know what the **** he's talking about. heh.

no, but seriously, get ready for the ride of your life. for me, emotionally, i think, the ride started a little later. i felt pretty helpless early on, with the wife pumping and feeding him, and i only got to hold him when he was asleep. plus, i guess i wasn't emotionally ready for him when he came. i had two more months, dammit!

well, this turned into quite a novel. sorry about that.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that, despite our rocky start, having a kid is ******* awesome. get ready for the ride of your life. and a bit of a life renaissance, because you'll be reborn again as well. watching the wonder with which a child regards what you consider mundane really makes you appreciate the things you've taken for granted for too long.
 
Hayden, that night was crazy for you. I remember the updates during the days following his arrival and thinking that our first daughter's birth was a cake walk in comparison.

My oldest is getting to the point where she wont take a nap. So when No. 2 goes down, she and I will do something together. As much as I hate letting her watch TV, some of the best times are sitting in our big recliner with blanket. She watches a video and I'll read or take a cat nap of my own. It's kind of rare that you'll get a three year old to sit still.
 
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