A poor man finds God while walking through a forest. “God, what is a million years like for you?” “My son, for me a million years is like a second.” “God, what is a million dollars to you?” “My son, a million dollars means nothing to me.” “So God, can I have a million dollars?” “In a second.”
When Joseph Stalin first came into power in the USSR he was dating a much younger woman. She still lived in the same home as her family and they did not approve of Stalin. One night she rang his phone asking him to come over for an intimate night. "I'm very sorry, my dear" he said "But I'm very busy sending people to the Gulag" "But my parents aren't home!" "Yes ... I know."