Why do divorced women keep their married name?

D

Dude

1,000+ Posts
I know this is common, maybe even the rule, not the exception, but it stood out to me the other day when I came across a lady who I know went through a tough divorce. I know some people are friendly post-divorce, but in many cases isn't it a constant reminder of a person they don't like? Is it because changing it back is a pain? Is it to keep the same last name as her kids?
 
There are a lot of reasons. If you are known professionally by your married name, if you have a diploma issued to a married name, if you have kids with the married name.

Frankly, I'm a little surprised that there aren't fewer women these days who change their name when they get married. I would hate to have to change mine, personally, and am glad it is not an issue I'm faced with.
 
I actually think it's becoming more common to go back to the maiden name. If there aren't any kids or a professional reason, I would say these days they almost always go back to their maiden name.

Then again, there are women like my sister-in-law and a friend's step-mother who were already established with their maiden name, and they continue to use it. The only time they are Mrs. -------, is when the invitation is addressed to Mr & Mrs --------.
 
If they have kids, it may be for their benefit, but otherwise it is because it is a pain in the *** to change all the accounts, banks, credit cards, lease, car title, driver's license, on and on. It's a real pain in the ***. There may be difficulties with credit, insurance, other legal papers. Who wants to go through all that?
 
Think it has a lot to do with kids...I am currently getting a divorce and going back to my maiden name...but then again, don't have any kids either although I do have my degree with my married name on it...whatever. Not worried about it.
 
I know a woman at work who recently went through a fairly difficult divorce and she says the biggest hassle turned out to be changing her name. My boss is getting a divorce right now and this lady is advising her it's not worth it.
 
My mother-in-law kept her married name after divorce mainly for one reason: Her maiden name was Dutch and was 11 letters long plus two spaces ("Van der ..."), and her married name was a very common, easy to spell 6-letter name. Just made things easier.
 
The people I know who didn't change it back was because they didn't want to go through the hassle of changing everything, especially dealing with the hassle of the Social Security Office.

After I got married it took me at least a month to get my named changed on everything and I still have to change it on a few things, including my passport in which I have to pay the fee again.
 
I used to work with a lady whose married name just fit her better than her maiden name, so she kept it.

She didn't like her ex muxh, but she liked the name..
 
my buddy's wife kept her name after they divorced. she's a lawyer and everybody knows her by her married name. judges, colleagues, clients. she's a star. she's built up lots of goodwill and credibility with her married last name. no way in hell she could change it.
 
my friend kept her name because her biological dad is a jailed piece of **** that tried to kill her and her mom.

her ex-husband is a piece of **** army dude. but he's still her only love and she didn't want to go back to the other name.

it aint my place, but she should go with her step-dad's name because he's a bad *** and a Longhorn. (redundant) or my last name. we use to be BFF
 
Not to get too deep into West Mall territory here, but I found it interesting that it has been widely reported that John McCain's ex-wife still goes by Carol McCain.
 
Honey, please read this thread that I sent you a link to. See how hard it is to change your name? Not worth it. Please keep my last name.

Love you always,
Harry Lipshitz
 
My mother kept my fathers name primarily for business reasons. When you are well established in a profession where networking is extremely valuable it is extremely costly to change your name and re-establish yourself.
 
When my mom divorced my dad she kept the name because they'd been married for 37 years and that 's how everyone knew her outside of her hometown. Too much legal paperwork and issues there too, when you spend nearly 40 years with someone... So, there's the pain in the *** factor -- she didn't want to mess with it.

A friend's mom who went through a similar situation immediately changed everything back to the maiden name. But she was already retired, and frankly was slighted because of infidelity, I believe. She also had many relatives with the same (maiden) name where she lived so it made sense.
 
I guess my aunt was progressive. She dropped her married name despite 20 years of marriage and two teens in the early eighties. Wasn't even a messy divorce.
 
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