When to Enroll My Daughter in School?

C

cincyhorn

100+ Posts
Not sure this is the right forum or not, but...

I have four year old daughter who turns 5 on August 2. I believe she needs to be 5 before Sept 1 in Texas to start kinder. Anyway, the wife and I have been trying to decide if we should hold her back and wait a year. Here are our concerns:

1. She would likely always be the youngest in her classes..maybe more likely to be a follower than a leader??

2. Maturity level is a questionable, althought she is four years old

3. She'll graduate HS at 17 and may not be ready for the responsibility of going off to college. Maybe another year would make a difference??

I'd love to get opinions for both sides of the fence, especially from anyone who has gone through the same dilemma.
 
My son was born August 8th last year, and we already know we are holding him back. Really don't want him to be the youngest in the class, and we figure the extra year will do him good.

I think it's a bigger deal for a boy as opposed to a girl, but I definitely see an advantage in either case.
 
My daughter turned 5 on Sept 3. I did not want her to be the oldest kid in her class. Your daughter will graduate high school at 17 and ten months if she starts on time - there will be other students in her class that are the same age as she.

Holding a kid back for age reasons only takes away a full year of her/his life, and they would have to graduate from college in three years to get that year back...
 
I would hold her out until next year. I had the same issue with Lostbaby #3, knew he would be born mid to end of August, so planned to keep him out from Day 1. Best decision we made. Looking at him now, he is a great student, and since Losthubby and I were both late bloomers as far as physical maturity, he is more in line with his peers rather than way behind.

In 27+ years of teaching, every kid I have had who was in this situation, it has always been a good thing. The alternative is holding them back in one of the elementary grades, and I have seen mixed results there.

He or she will not know the difference if you put them in a year later.
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I actually have lived both sides of the fence. I was born Sept 5th, and my mother made the decision to allow me to start kinder even though I was not technically 5 years old, at the time. For me, it was the right decision. I was very tall as a child, and was always thought to be older than I actually was. In addition, as an only child, I grew up in a house where I was the youngest of four generations, and in a neighborhood with few other children. As a result, I was reading simple storybooks and doing basic math by the time I was four. When I was in school, being the "youngest" in my class was never really an issue, because of my appearance/scholastic skills. I actually think that most of the people in my classes thought I was born a year earlier than I really was, and didn't realize I was younger than all of them. As a side note: there were several years thru elementary school, when my mother was approached by the school to let me skip to the next grade. She declined though, because I was already the youngest in my class, and she didn't feel that me graduating from high school at 16 yrs old, would be a good idea.

On the other hand, I have twin sons who were born Sept 15th. Their pre-school (church run, that went thru 1st Grade) allowed progression to the next grade level, provided that a student's birthday fell before December 1st. So, my boys started kinder two weeks before their 5th birthday. However, I made the decision to place them in (public school) kinder the following year. I felt the additional year of kinder would give them the opportunity to really have a good/solid start to grade school, and also give them another year of maturation. I also felt that it would give them a bit of an advantage athletically (middle school, in particular) to be one of the older/bigger kids in their class (they are high school freshman, this year, and some of the better athletes on their teams).

I would say that YOU know your child the best. And based on what you know about your child, you'll know what is best for your child. I wouldn't worry too much about "taking away a full year of her life", if you decide to start her next year. How many kids actually graduate from college in four years, anyway? And, by the time she's in college, nobody is going to really care if she just turned 18 or 19. She'll be in classes with people of various ages. It's a decision that needs to be made on the needs/characteristics of the individual child.
 
Losing a year of productive life is huge, a parent doesn't see that long-in-the-future loss when the child is only five. Frankly, a normal student going into 12th grade after just turning 18 (an adult) is ridiculous.

You can always pull your daughter out of kinder after a month or two if she's over-whelmed by the experience, but more likely, she'll be equal to the tasks involved...
 
Timing won't change their personality (leadership).

My birthday was in October, and I started early and graduated at 17 and then 21. No big deal at all, outside of athletics, which for me the age didn't mean anything.

Putting her in early gives her another year of adult life. That's one of the best gifts you can give. Of course, you need to believe she's "ready". Kids are highly adaptable, as if we all didn't know that.

Don't make it about "achievement", less someone smear Cheeto's on your back.
 
I teach pre-k. The August b-days (just turned4) usually have the most trouble at the start of the year. As the year goes on, they blend in with the rest of the group. Its really not that big of a deal, but I would rather wait a year if given the choice.
 
my kid's got an August 20th bday. We consulted with his pre-k teacher and took per opinion into consideration when making our decision. Her point was that it really isn't a general answer but really continent on each particular kid's maturity level. She felt like our son was mature enough. He had two neighbor kids, one a week older and one two days younger and both were held back. I would have held those two back too being that they weren't (and really still aren't) that mature for their age, even though they are both the oldest in their respective classes.

The weird thing is that my son does play football and he's always playing against younger kids. He's a big boy and now in 5th grade. We're glad we made the decision. He's done really well.
 
I'm august 30th and was not help back. I liked being the youngest of my class even though I never felt like the youngest. I think being with the older kids is what pushed me to do better. I "kept up" with the older kids. My daughter is July and even if she was August I still would have let her start kinder on time. I will say every child is different. Some are obviously not ready.
 
August 17th Birthday- youngest in her class.

I wrestle with this decision more and more, mainly because of her desire to excel in both the classroom and athletics. She is small in stature and being a year younger than most of the kids she competes with puts her at a disadvantage. Still made the track team, placed in District, and her soccer team that I coach went to State. She could be a top performer athletically had we held her back. This frustrates her sometimes.

On the flip side academically she was ready to go in early and has doen very well at school. I did not push for Tag classes in Elementary school because of her younger age, but she has been recommended for all AP classes, and has 100 averages in 4 of her classes, and her lowest average is 94. So academically she is kicking ***. She also wants to take college level classes and go to Summer school as soon as she can to take more college level classes early.

I will say that had she been a boy I porbably would have held her back. I also do not know if she would ahve been as good an athlete for her age had she not been competing for years with kids a year older than her? Perhaps or perhaps not?

I actually worry more about her being only 17 in High school as she graduates, but presently she even wants to spend her first year or so at home if she can get into UT.

I also know first hand of the difficulties and potential pitfalls of being one of the "alpha" females, from my youth, as many of the girls I ran with in High School had more difficult times in life and in college, and tended to become sexually active sooner.

Hell it's a dice roll. For me it was about academics more than anything. I am hoping that her younger age keeps her head on straight in high school and focused on getting into a good college. Like I told her the other day, if she would like she can try out for the Olymipic Development Program with her peer age group and see how she does. I don't see her as an olympian by any stretch, but it might be good for her to see if she really could be a dominating player with kids her own age where she is one of the older ones. My guess is that height will still be her limiter, but who knows.

Anyhow that's my first hand experiece on the matter. A lot of the "Alpha" girls at her school tend to not do nearly as well academically from what I have been able to gather. So I "think" made the right choice... but only time will tell....

Welcome to the parental decisions that you agonize most over because they set a life course.....
 
Do your kid a favor and hold them back. They will be better prepared for everything life throws their way, both physically and in terms of emotional maturity.

From my point of view, I was always smaller than everyone, drove a year later than my peers, and I was almost out of college before I was old enough to drink or get into a bar.
 
I have a late June birthday. Was one of the youngest in my class and I don't think it made any difference.
 
I cannot encourage you strongly enough to read Malcolm Gladwell's book Outlyers when making this decision.

Basic upshot is this: Statistically your daughter would get her butt handed to her academically and athletically as a barely five year old comparred to a barely 6 year old entering kinder. I'm not talking about 1 year, I'm talking about for life.

The youngest kids in the class basically underperform the oldest kids in the class by about 30% on average. The difference in athletics is also stark.

Now, I was the youngest in my class and had tons of success in school, so it's not a sure thing, but the statistics just aren't there. Do her and yourself a favor and wait one year to pull the trigger.

And read the book- not only is it a fantastic read and highly interesting but if you can look at the statistics and case studies it should be VERY apparent what's most likely to be the best move for her.
 
We have 3 kids that all have summertime birthdays, so they are relatively younger than their peers; yet all 3 have excelled academically. What you have done to prepare your child at home the first 5 years is more important than the worry of the K work load.

I'm a Nov. birthday and actually didn't like being older. I turned 19 after being at the 40 for only 3 months and felt like I was already behind in life goals (I know silly).

The are many parents that do this holding back stuff in Katy because they believe their child will then pwn academically and athletically (popycock).

Ultimately, you and wife will have to decide if she is ready. If she is; send her. If she isn't, hold her back. Holding her back because you're convinced it will give her a leg up seems like doing her a disservice. Hell, hold back until she's 10 then she'll really pwn.
 
I was the very youngest in my high school class (I graduated UT at age 20)... and I think the advantages FAR outweigh the disadvantages.

I would worry very little about graduating high school at 17 (I see that as a huge positive, btw-- she could do a semester overseas, take a year off college to do an internship in a field that might interest her... so many possibilities).

How does she interact with kids who she'd be in school with? If she is intimidated and passive, then I could see your concern. But if she's well-adjusted and happy, then I don't see what you'd be waiting for.
 
I graduated valedictorian and national merit scholar as a july b-day, I didn't say it was dispositive, I just said all the numbers are completely stacked against her.

Do what you wish with this information. Academically and athletically you are behind the 8 ball being the youngest in your class/peer group.

I'd bet with the numbers when they are that stark.
 
August 28 birthday here. Not held back.

I'm a smart dude, and it didn't affect me academically. I'm also fairly tall, so people didn't seem to notice/care about me being younger.

To this day I'm still a little bugged by the held-back idea. Proponents say it's about emotional maturity, and the ones who generally mean it probably didn't do a great job instilling this maturity into the kids in the first place. I was never envious of the kids with July birthdays who were a grade behind me... growing up I always thought it was because they were dumber.

The main reason parents (in the Metroplex, at least) hold kids back today is so that they're more badass than everyone else's kids when the teen years come. Bigger for athletics, hotter girls, can drive first, etc. They ARE the Joneses you're going to have to keep up with.
 
late june b-day here. i don't think it makes that much of a difference academics. athletics is totaly diff.
 
late August Birthday here. I don't think it affected me one bit, and to be quite honest, i was completely unaware that i was one of the youngest during my grade school, middle school and high school years. I associated everyone in my peer group by grade, not age.

My 1st week at UT i was still 17, turning 18 didn't suddenly and dramatically affect my social life one bit. The first year at UT should really be about doing well enough to "remain at UT", and not worrying about what under 21 clubs you can and can't get into.
 
There is a really easy calculation to estimate your answer here.

A) Take the PV of the estimated future income of the average tweener kid starting on time.

B) Take the PV of the estimated future income of the average tweener kid waiting a year.

I'm almost positive A will usually be > B. That one year makes a huge difference.

I just ran a quick calc on excel. In scenario A I used a 10% discount rate, estimate a $40k income from 21-28, $60k from 29-39, $90k from 40 to 50, $120k from 50 to 65, and $40k from 66 to 76. For B, I used the same estimates just pushed back one year. The difference is ~$50k in NPV (year 0 being age 21 for both kids) for scenario A. Your kid will have to earn on average a little more than 10% every year over scenario A to make up for that year being held back.

Now I'm not saying this is your answer written in stone, but are any perceived benefits from a year worth of extra maturity (a year not fully socializing in a full-time classroom environment) really enough to eat $50k? For the average kid, I'd say probably not.
 
I was an August birthday and not held back. I struggled in K and 1st grade but I quicky caught up later and finished in the top 5% of my graduating class of ~500.

It's all based on maturity level of the individual, IMHO. Considering any athletic component is short sighted unless you're convinced your kid has a future in professional sports at the age of 5. My eldest son has a June B-day. We didn't hold him back and he's near the top of his class academically from the get go (he's now in 4th grade). The only disadvantage is that most of his friends are playing in the higher level sports leagues because of his age. For example, most of the kids on his little league team are 3rd graders. With that said, he can hold his own quite well playing in those leagues. [grin]

We did have a decision for my youngest son who turned 5 on Nov. 26th last year. In Washington you can put them in as long as they are 5 before Dec. 1st. Being the youngest he wasn't mature enough so we decided to hold him back to start K this year. We think that was also a good decision.

We have friends that purposely held their kids back for academic and sports reasons. These kids are only marginally better in school/sports and likely will be passed by the time they get to HS.

I've read Outliers and question the veracity of Gladwell's statistics.
 
Yeah, I was always the youngest in my class (Sept 1st bday), and there were actually people in the lower grades older than me. So what does this mean? Well, I consider myself one of the 5 best posters here.
 
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