Wedding Invitation Etiquette

S

Stuck_At_Work

1,000+ Posts
Another wedding question (if you can't tell, my fiance and I are pretty clueless about the whole process).

We originally had a 100-120 person wedding in mind. Because of cost concerns, we are cutting that number in half. The 50-60 that we invite will be our immediate family and a few lifelong friends.

The 'other' 50-60 that we had originally planned on inviting are still very important to us (extended family and good friends). Most of them expect to be invited to this wedding. What is the proper etiquette for dealing with this situation?
 
"Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you."

Feel free to customize it to your liking but I think you get the idea.

RR
 
This is never any easy situation, but it happens all the time. Regardless of the situation, there will always be someone who thinks he or she should have been invited. In your case, people may ask why they were not invited, simply tell them due to space limitations (or whatever you’d like to say), you had minimize the guest list to only include family and life-long friends. Actually, most people will understand, especially if they have had a wedding before. In your case, you may want to have a “Wish” List as a back up. This list typically includes the people who you really want to invite but could not accommodate. In case the situation arises where already invited guests can not attend the wedding, you may choose to invite others from your “Wish” List.

This is your day and you do have a right to invite who you want and can accommodate, but be gracious when explaining the situation to anyone not invited.

I’ve been working with events including weddings lately, so feel free to pm with any others questions and I’ll try to help.
smile.gif


Good luck and congrats!
 
Some people send out an announcement after the wedding, which isn't a bad idea. This is more effective for people who don't actually know you're getting married (parents' old friends, etc).

However, absolutely DO NOT send an announcement BEFORE the wedding that says you're sorry the person could not be invited due to space/money limitations.

I have a friend that did that and most people found it very, very tacky.
 
At least your number is actually low. I hate the BS line about it being "friends and family only" then you find out they had 200+ people invited.

Anyway, it always sucks not inviting people. I guess if you REALLY feel bad you could have a secondary party a few weeks later for everyone you invited AND everyone you would have AND even some more people who you barley know. Then just have cheaper food and drinks, like grillen and some kegs. I've had a few friends who do this after an elopement, so I don't know why it wouldn't work after your 50-60 guest wedding.
 
We had an A and B list. We sent the A list about 8 weeks out, once we got a few nos from that group, we sent the B list out. We found about 50% of the people we invited came and other people I have talked with had around the same response.
 
Well, you learn something new everyday.

I am a male and my partner is a female.

I suppose that makes her my fiancee. Thanks for the correction. Are they pronounced differently?
 
i got married last august. it was a short engagement and we basically just surprised everyone. we only invited family to the wedding and my best friend (my family is small compared to hers so i needed some back up). some of my friends are still pissed they weren't invited, even though everyone knows it was just fam.

my best advice is to tell a few ppl you're doing family only. let them spread the word. then send out a wedding announcement after. this was the best thing. ppl still have our wedding picture on their fridge.
 
You could always do like someone I know and invite the "extra" guests to view your ceremony via webcam. I am not making this up.
 
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