We are so doomed tonight

[TexanWolv]

DOOMED, I SAY!!!!!

 

[billygoat hill]

 

[Valmy77]

Poland had like 100x better a chance in 1939 than we do tonight. DOOOOOOMED

 

[GemStateJim]

Doomed doesn't even begin to describe it.

The kid we're facing, Mike Leake, is a staggering 16-1 on the season with a 1.36 ERA, 150 strikeouts and only 21 bases on balls through 132.2 innings. In his only loss, he allowed a mere earned run in seven innings of work but was outshined by K-State's ace, A.J. Morris.

Leake was also the eighth overall pick in the recent MLB draft. He's a soon-to-be multi-multi-millionaire who is destined for Cooperstown and, quite likely, the U.S. presidency.

It's also within the realm of probability that he could cure cancer and invent an alternative energy source. Rumor has it that Beyonce Knowles, Eva Longoria and Jessica Alba are reconsidering their vows in hopes of a crack at Mr. Leake.

Also, Dos Equis recently announced that it has suspended its "Most Interesting Man in the World" marketing blitz because, compared to Leake, their bearded pitchman seems "boring and insecure."

So, yeah, doomed doesn't even begin to describe it. Our players and coaches might as well not show up. Failing that, we fans might as well not bother to watch.

Our only hope is that Leake woke up this morning feeling merciful and decides to only take the mound against us--he's hitting .303 with 10 hits and 10 runs in 33 at-bats this season.

 

[Valmy77]

After Mike Leake I hear George Washington will now have to considered second in war, second in peace, and second in the hearts of his countrymen.

 

[jackden]

Horns have no chance against those mighy SUN Devils

 

[accuratehorn]

In the immortal words of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, "We have nothing to fear but Leake himself." It will be too brutal to watch our young team tossed into this meat grinder, maybe I'll rearrange my sock drawer instead of viewing the carnage.

 

[jackden]

We will be lucky if we trail in single digit by 3rd inning.

 

[Horn87]

DDOOOOOOOOMMMEEEEDDD!!!!

 

[Chest Rockwell]

Mike Leake once had an awkward moment just to see how it would feel.

 

[3nnsang]

There's a better chance of the Astros and Rangers meeting in the World Series than the Longhorns getting a hit tonight off of Leake.

 

[longtex]

Tim Tebow wears Mike Leake pajamas.

 

[ProdigalHorn]

There's still hope - we could get a really long rain delay after two innings, and maybe Leake couldn't come back after play resumed. But then we'd still have to hit another ASU pitcher, and since we have no offense to begin with, we are DOOOOMED!!!!

Maybe they will agree to spot us the lead-off hitter in every other inning, just to make it fair.

 

[blonthang]

Mike Leake speaks French ----- in Russian.

 

[Chest Rockwell]

Vegas loves ASU.

ASU -220
UT +180

 

[Dionysus]

Mike Leake once ate a wildebeest while para-sailing. It was ******* glorious and afterwards we sang Hallelujah in Sanskrit.

 

[The Horn Identity]

Just thinking about it, I Leaked in my pants.

 

[Djibouti, Djibouti]

Leake saves children...but not the Longhorn children.

 

[vball]

Hopeless, I say....

 

[RomaVicta]

Our only hope is if he is drafted this afternoon by the US Air Force to knock down North Korean missiles with his off speed pitch. His fast ball often turns into a ray of light that would do no damage to the warhead.

Sigh. Doooooomed.

 

[busterbrown16]

Mike Leake is only a couple letters away from Mike Leach, so we are certainly DOOMED.

 

[accuratehorn]

You mean to say that in the offseason, Leake is really the dread pirate Roberts? I suspected as much. Doomed.

 

[darius]

Chuck Norris once attempted to roundhouse kick a Leake fastball. He failed.

 

[Bill in Sinton]

 

[LonghornCatholic]

Anyone notice the 2 Longhorn hefties seated down front and constantly on camera?
Its gonna be a long day...............doomed.

 

[crushlawtx]

I heard Mike Leake actually won the election in Iran.

DOOOMED!