Wasted Talent....

R

Rip76

1,000+ Posts
Something I've been struggling with for a long time now...

I'm 35 now and I've been playing guitar since I was 12 years old. I've played in my share of bands, and I've written a bunch of what I (and a lot of other people seem to think), are pretty damn good songs.

JimmyJazz has heard some of this stuff.

But, the sad thing is my Gibson has been sitting in my closet for the better part of two years now, and frankly, it scares the hell out of me.

I know in my heart that if I would have just stuck with it, I could have been a damn good lead guitarist in someone's band. But on the other hand....

I've got a beautiful wife, a great job and a child on the way and i'm excited to no end... But, it really kills me inside that I never fully pursued the "dream." And it's fully my fault, but I find it hard to get over it...

I know, I know...."Follow your dreams," "You can do anything you set your mind to"....etc...etc..
But that's not always the case.... Growing up, my mom always loved that I played an instrument, but she really pushed school and getting a good education. And I fully agree that was the correct way to look at it....(Hell i've got a Cd titled, "Something to Fall Back On.")

My question is I guess, do you really ever let the itch go, or does it just eat you up inside forever?

I don't want to be that bitter person....
 
Is it more of a lamentation that you aren't playing any more or is it a sadness that you didn't 'go all the way'?

That can be the paradox of playing an instrument. You start to play because you love music but there is always the thought in the back of your mind of 'going somewhere' with it. Sometimes the weight of that expectation can take over and distract you. We tend to measure things in terms of 'results' and destination. It can take the fun out of playing and rob you of the pure, innocent, joy of the journey. Try just holding it again... put it on dirty, turn it up, hit a chord and just 'feel it'.. let it take you back to that simple time with no expectations.

I play the pedal steel guitar and I've been 'lost' many times with it. I've abandoned it and felt the sadness build up inside of me every time I walked by it... just sitting there... waiting for me. At some point the hurt would stop me.. I would stand and look at it and almost be in tears. I would sit behind it, rest my hands on the strings, and just feel the pedals under my foot and the levers on my knees.... just to know it again... like an old friend. I would close my eyes and hear every great thing I ever wanted to do on it. I realized that I was so sad because it was a part of me I had been neglecting. Your heart and soul is tied into your instrument... once you reach a certain point, it's a part of your spirit, and I don't think you could ever be whole without it.

You never fail when you fall off.... only when you fail to get back on.
 
If you do it with love for the people you love, you let it go and you get a new more domesticated itch (especially when you have children). The dream never really goes away, but the desire does; at least should I say that it mellows out.
 
your talent is playing guitar, so play guitar. play it at home for yourself, your wife, your kids. play at a local bar if you can, just for fun and free drinks. just because your guitar is not your living doesn't mean you wasted your talent. if you can play your guitar well, then you have embraced your talent. just play.
 
<Channeling Steel Shank> Post some of your music so we can then tell you how ****** you really are. Then you will know you made the correct decision. </Channeling Steel Shank>
 
If you attend a church, play there, play at parties, play for yourself (great stress reliever...). Don't hide your talent from your kids, they'll be more likely to pick up music if a parent shows an interest like that.

When they're older, a lot of schools have parent/child talent days how cool would it be to someday play a song with one or more of them, even if it's only like that?

If you really do write some what you think are good songs, get 'em published and cut a demo. Hey, you never know...
 
I have no idea how he manages it, but my cousin, who got married at age 19 (and is 32 now), has a wife and three boys, and owns 3 funky independent shoe stores with a thriving online business, just came out with a CD. And it's actually pretty good.
 
I was an incredible baseball player at one point in my life. I had a chance to do something with it but didn't work hard enough at it. I got by for about 17 years on pure talent and no work but that caught up to me. Am I bitter? No. I learned one of the most valuable lessons ever.

I hate Mike Stoops, but I like his saying (don't know if he made it up or not but remember him quoting it) "hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard".

Now, I work harder than I ever have in my life and have no regrets. Don't get too caught up in the past. Play for your kids, teach them the lesson that you've learned. To me, that's about all you can do.
 
Rip, most of the "successful" musicians I've met -- people playing lots of gigs and achieving local notoriety -- have at one time or another expressed regret and envy over the fact that I pursued an education in something I like which provides security over trying to make it in music. The grass is always greener.
 
I am the same way, except with golf. I felt I made the right decision after college to work full time and pursue my MBA, but that doesn't change the fact that I constantly think about giving it a shot. Not a week goes by that I don't want to quit my job and turn professional. Then I remember that I don't like being broke and that keeps me going, but the desire to go after my dream will probably never go away.

So what I am trying to say is to remember all the good things you have due to the decisions you have made and try not to dwell on the past too much.
 
Great replies....
I guess I've just always been "consumed" by music, so it kinda weird for me to not be anymore...

I was going to compare it to playing sports, etc....

And I've got about 7 songs from two different bands on my computer... I just don't know where to "host," them...

I've also got a video of our/my last show on a cd, but I can't figure out how to copy it to my computer. Only to other Cd's.
 
I have a wife and 2 kids and a steady job and a degree in engineering from UT-Austin.

Most of my good friends are struggling musicians that work low paying day jobs to support their dreams. Most of them are pushing 40 like me and will never make it big. Hardly anyone makes a living playing music.

I am in a few bands with some of these guys, side projects, and once in a while we get to play at a local club for a couple dozen friends. Those nights have to fulfill my musical ambition, cause it's all I'm gonna get.

It's a hell of a lot better than not playing though. Not to mention practicing with those guys every week or two is a hell of a stress reliever /

Don't give up, just adjust the direction.
 
Hey Rip...

I had some of the same thoughts you did when I first had kids. But I realized from firsthand experience (father-in-law, friends) that life as a musician is not good for a family. It just doesn't work well.

But now that my kids are older (8 and 10), they are taking guitar lessons and I love sharing my guitar-playing with them. So the advice you got above is good - play for your family, your friends, play the occasional jam session at parties and stuff. You'll probably find it's more rewarding than doing it for a living...
 
I have a friend who plays in an Austin band that is adored nationwide, if not worldwide. By any measure, they are "successful", and make a decent living. Riches could be just around the corner. The guy is super intelligent, talented, nice, funny, you name it.

He's also getting divorced from a beautiful wife and will probably lose custody of a sweet little girl as well.

Music and family just don't mix, except in the most unusual circumstances.
 
"He's also getting divorced from a beautiful wife and will probably lose custody of a sweet little girl as well."

man...
 
I feel your pain....then I talk with musicians I know...and they tell me "but you have a REAL job" with insurance and everything.

Probably the best guitarist in Atlanta lives in a TINY apartment. I mean TINY. Junk all over the place......outside of his guitars, he doesn't own anything. This is a guy who has played with all of the greats, including Les Paul himself. I'm guessing he is over 50. A buddy of mine took lessons from him for awhile. He had to teach to make money to spend.

The best songwriter/guitarist I know is in the same spot. I named my youngest daughter, Claire, after a song he wrote. Last I heard, he was playing in about 3 bands and working in a used record store. Probably about 50 by now. Fantastic musician, just never caught a break.

There is a songwriter from Alabama and has spent some time in central Texas named Rock Killough. Has written some great songs, including the single best song I have every heard. He writes as good as Guy Clark, trust me. Most people have never heard of him. I'm guessing Rock is at least 60.

Another couple named Jeff and Suzan Sauls. Cowrote tons of GREAT songs. Great singers; him a fantastic guitar player and she a HOT singer with a voice as pure and clear as Emmylou Harris. They never caught a break and last I heard, they were both completely out of the music business.
 
Sounds like you're already living the "American Dream". You should be happy, but it makes sense. You are a Texas fan after all; it's in our nature to never be satisfied no matter how good things are.
 
For me it eats me up and probably always will. I am so competitive by nature and to think I did not pursue some opportunities that were there tears me up despite the fact that I have a wonderful life. I have an incredible wife, rewarding career and have been able to enjoy so many of the things I always wanted in life. Still I cannot let go of a few things that I did not accomplish, and have no shot at ever getting a do over.
 
Does 39ish equal forty? LOL.

One thing I regret is not following my dreams (broadcast journalist or journalist of some sort). Now, I'm a cog in a machine. I am head count.


My talent and love is gambling. Not sure I'm good enough to do it for a living, but people do it.
 
One other thing, talent is not wasted unless you don't use it at all.

Like I (and others) have said (more or less). Find some outlet, even if its just at parties or something...
 
Well, I don't want to jack the thread but golf was my was talent. I sure wish I had put more effort into that.

Anyway, I do own a guitar, it's a Fender acoustic, though I'm not very good playing it.

As far as the thread title of 'wasted talent,' I'll just have to add "writer" to "golfer." I could have been a contender, but I got mixed up in politics and marriage.
 
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