SocraticAg
< 25 Posts
I was sittin’ and a ponderin this her game and camparin our good Ag tradishuns to ol' Noter Dames. Ol’ Spidey said I ponder too much, but that’s OK cuz his wheels are spinnin’ but his tires are off the ground if you know what I mean. And I know you do.
But that got me to thinkin how come Notre Dame is so attracting? Them Cathlicks got somethin up their sleeve. If they was real creatinists they wouldn’t have no engineers because science got no basis in fact. Asides from that what the hell does football has to do with Jesus? Then Ol’ Spidey set me straight bout that. The real Lords team is rightchere at A&M!
See, Jesus had the original football team, the 12 Disciples, just like we got the 12th man. They was settin’ out to conquer the Pentecostic Division of the Jewish Football League, and the time come for the big game down at King Herod Memorial Stadium.
Well Jesus, he was having some problems. His recruiting was a suffering, what with all them firstborn sons being killed and all, and fullbaks bein’ busted for potbanging and Judas selling his playbook to the other teams and a quarterback controversy between Paul and Luke. But still he had put together a real buff crew in those disciples, and man he was a game day coach like God had never seen. Problem was his players didn’t have no fire acause they was always turning the other cheek and loving they neighbors and thy neighbors animuls.
So here’s Jesus over behind the bench during a prayer timeout drawin’ up a play in the dirt, and it ain’t none other than the Swingin’ Gate! “Paul, you hiketh thy ball to Luke” he says. “Luke, you faketh a pitchout to Matthew and then follow on behind John the pulling guard around the end”.
So they take the field, them robes a flowin’ and the crowd cheerin and them cheerleaders on the sideline grabbin thereselves under there togas, and Luke screams “Genesis 2.12 PAUL HIKETH THY BALL” and Paul bein mad about not playing quarterback, he pulls a fumblerooski, see, and then charges on down the field a thunderin’ like chariots on fire. The crowd is going wild, and then when ol’ Paul got to the endzone he spikethed the ball right in the burning bush and ruint it. Then they saw the yella flag on the field and they had been penalized for having 12 men on the field. So they lost the game, and shortly after the JFL folded up cuz they couldn’t kill no more pigs and Paul had ruint the only football. The fans was so mad they up and crutchified Jesus.
But the point is, we’s the real religious team. We got uniforms colored like blood. We got twelve men. We got a world class vetinery doctor training, and word is theys planning on lettin’ us work on real people sometime in the future. And we ain’t got no law school, which is good.
So I don’t know what the fuss is about.
Whooooop!
But that got me to thinkin how come Notre Dame is so attracting? Them Cathlicks got somethin up their sleeve. If they was real creatinists they wouldn’t have no engineers because science got no basis in fact. Asides from that what the hell does football has to do with Jesus? Then Ol’ Spidey set me straight bout that. The real Lords team is rightchere at A&M!
See, Jesus had the original football team, the 12 Disciples, just like we got the 12th man. They was settin’ out to conquer the Pentecostic Division of the Jewish Football League, and the time come for the big game down at King Herod Memorial Stadium.
Well Jesus, he was having some problems. His recruiting was a suffering, what with all them firstborn sons being killed and all, and fullbaks bein’ busted for potbanging and Judas selling his playbook to the other teams and a quarterback controversy between Paul and Luke. But still he had put together a real buff crew in those disciples, and man he was a game day coach like God had never seen. Problem was his players didn’t have no fire acause they was always turning the other cheek and loving they neighbors and thy neighbors animuls.
So here’s Jesus over behind the bench during a prayer timeout drawin’ up a play in the dirt, and it ain’t none other than the Swingin’ Gate! “Paul, you hiketh thy ball to Luke” he says. “Luke, you faketh a pitchout to Matthew and then follow on behind John the pulling guard around the end”.
So they take the field, them robes a flowin’ and the crowd cheerin and them cheerleaders on the sideline grabbin thereselves under there togas, and Luke screams “Genesis 2.12 PAUL HIKETH THY BALL” and Paul bein mad about not playing quarterback, he pulls a fumblerooski, see, and then charges on down the field a thunderin’ like chariots on fire. The crowd is going wild, and then when ol’ Paul got to the endzone he spikethed the ball right in the burning bush and ruint it. Then they saw the yella flag on the field and they had been penalized for having 12 men on the field. So they lost the game, and shortly after the JFL folded up cuz they couldn’t kill no more pigs and Paul had ruint the only football. The fans was so mad they up and crutchified Jesus.
But the point is, we’s the real religious team. We got uniforms colored like blood. We got twelve men. We got a world class vetinery doctor training, and word is theys planning on lettin’ us work on real people sometime in the future. And we ain’t got no law school, which is good.
So I don’t know what the fuss is about.
Whooooop!
