Things I might have said to my children lately

[Dionysus]

Things I might have said to one or more of my children lately.

- What do you mean you're still hungry.
- Go to bed, I'm tired.
- Where did all this water come from.
- Be still, this won't hurt.
- Get over here.
- Put that down.
- Get over there.
- That wouldn't happen if you wore your shoes like I told you to.
- What did I just tell you.
- What. Did. I. Just. Tell. You.
- What is that smell.
- Why are your shoes in my bathtub.
- Don't step in that.
- It's green beans. Remember, you like green beans.
- Don't touch that, it's hot.
- I told you it was hot.
- How would you like it if I did that to you.
- Who put the cat in my closet.
- What do you have in your mouth.
- Is something burning.
- Don't come crying to me, you started it.
- Get that out of your nose.
- Who put the balloon in the oven.
- Where are your pants.
- It's OK, you're not bleeding anywhere.
- Get back in bed.
- Are you going to eat that or not.
- What is that on your face.
- Close the door when you come in.
- Close the door when you come in.
- Close the door when you come in.
- Why are the crayons in the freezer.
- If I have to come back up those stairs again.

 

[HornGal01]

Funny!!

My daughter is only 16 months so I have a while until I use those lines.

 

[Roger]

- What do you mean you're still hungry.

- That wouldn't happen if you ___________like I told you to.

- It's [insert vegetable]. Remember, you like [insert vegetable].

- Get ____ out of your nose.

- Where are your pants/shirt/underwear?

- Knock before you come in.


These are my favorites from your list with a little modification ;-)

 

[Macanudo]

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[chuychanga]

Go rub some dirt in it.

 

[THEU]

All hilarious and true! My daughter is just 6 weeks old so this journey is just beginning for my wife and I.

 

[ctrl+alt+del]

No, son, that's not "Little Bill."

For some reason, when my 2 1/2 year-old son sees a small black child, he calls him "Little Bill," which just happens to be his favorite show. Granted, it doesn't happen that often anymore since moving to Orange County, but still makes me laugh.

 

[BrothaHorn]

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[Tyler Durden]

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[Orange&White]

My 35 year old buddy constantly tells my 10 year old son to, "quit using big words that I don't understand". Not in a joking tone, either.

 

[Texoz]

- go ask your mom
- get off your little brother
- yes, you will probably be this hairy
- that's why you need to stop eating so many cereal bars
- take your hand out of your pants
- the monster in your closet will eat your feet tonight if you don't brush your teeth

 

[Tyler Durden]

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[smwhorn]

I once told my two kids:

"I don't want the two of you to say anything to eachother ever again for the rest of your lives."

They had been arguing in the backseat for what seemed like ten hours.

 

[THEU]

The pants thing is funny. A neighbour and I were looking at some new fence posts that another neighbour put in recently, and they were inside painting and so he knocked on the window. They opened it and we talked through the window. Then their 3 year old lifted up his shirt a bit and no pants, no undies, just a shirt. His dad was pretty embarrassed. "Where are your pants?!" I thought it was hilarious.

 

[netslave]

Sad thing is, most of those apply to me talking to my Dog as well!

 

[zzzz]

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[mahone]

"Don't fart around your mother."

 

[The Muzzler]

I have twin daughters...2 1/2" years old:

- quit hitting your sister
- Don't play with your food
- Be quiet!
- I did not let your sister do that.....why would I let you?
- Where are your clothes?
- Get off of there!
- Where is the remote?
- What do you have in your mouth?

 

[BLESSMEHORNS]

Its funny that we teach our kids to walk and talk the first 2 years and to sit down and shut up the next 16 years.

 

[Sgt. Longhorn]

I swear I have said every single one of those things in the last week.

My addition: Why is every light in the house turned on?

 

[OrangeBlooded]

use your words