There's hard up

[El_Oso]

and then there's REALLY HARD UP

 

[El Sapo]

I hear that doing 'hard' time is no picnic.

 

[ctrl+alt+del]

We should table this discussion because it is full of holes.

 

[BoogityBoy]

I commend the guy for deciding to lay his nards on the table...

 

[wolfman]

A lot of interesting diction took place that day at the round-table.

 

[Seamus McBundy]

Practice makes perfect?

 

[accuratehorn]

I'll bet the authorities find lots of pictures of metal picnic tables stored in his computer, the perv.

 

[BigWill]

aren't those holes pretty big?

Impressive!

 

[El_Oso]

to you they might be

 

[AustinTejasFan]

But it was his picnic table.

 

[Bookman]

the table asked for it, looking there all nice and shiny . . .

 

[Seattle Husker]

I had to look twice at the guys name because I went to school with a guy we nicknamed "couch ******" because he was caught screwing one of the couches at the fraternity. Literally the dude was using the space between the cushions for nefarious reasons. Needless to say, the pledge wasn't asked back for I-week and I never even considered checking that couch for spare change any point after that.

 

[Nivek]

In his defense the man said the table asked him 'Can I help you with that?'

 

[Seamus McBundy]

My wife is so cold in bed I tell you what....I mean I've got a picknick table outside and it shakes more than she does. I tell ya I can't get any respect...

 

[Steel Shank]

How old was this table?

 

[accuratehorn]

And had it been taken across states lines for immoral purposes?

 

[MaduroUTMB]

Apparently, the Emperor's Club outsources its 1/2 and 1/4 star "models" to Home Depot. Some assembly required.

 

[BoogityBoy]

I heard her name was Patty O'table

 

[Pentaconta]

I got splinters in my knee from sitting at an old picnic table once.

Needless to say, this story gives me the willies.

(Thank you, I'm here all week!)

 

[Alum03]

I dont get this at all. It seems that you would either go no friction or extreme lacerations depending on the diameters invovled.

 

[Statalyzer]

Letterman just did a top 10 on this:
The Link

 

[Seamus McBundy]

"Was curious if I could have sex with anything more flat and lifeless than my wife -- hiyooo!"

Did he marry ellen degenerous (spelling?)