Team X talking trash about Texas.

Doperbo

Doperbo

25+ Posts
I know a lot of you believe that this is a fairly weak {Team X} team, but it isn't. We have a {fired up new / experienced former assistant/ proven veteran coach} and the team is really starting to {adjust/commit/believe} in his {system/style/leadership}. Current ownership of the {insert rival trophy here} is proof of that. If {Player A} hadn't thrown a couple of int's then we would really have pounded {insert rival team}.

1st reason we'll win - {Player A} is now playing up the the ability we all knew he had. Texas has a QB who only plays because his Daddy tells the coach that he has to play or he will walk. Besides being able to pass, {Player A} runs like he's on fire. Daddy's boy couldn't run if his shoes were motorized.

2nd reason - {Players B and C} are probably the two best and most under rated WR's in the Big 12. Don't give me that Texas is loaded crap! We're just better at this position, hand's down. Texas is over rated big time here. When's the last time they had a receiver who caught ten or more passes in a game. We had {none/one/two/greater than two} last game, baby! Texas's only decent wideout, Williams, isn't close to {PlayerB} in production

3rd reason - balance. {Players D and E} keep the pressure off of {Player A} and the wideout's by pounding away at Texas. One things for sure, you can't cover everybody and we have a lot of weapons. {Player A} ran for {50/100/150/greater than 150} yards against {insert team} by keeping them guessing as to what we were going to do. The same thing will happen against Texas.

4th reason - Coaching. Brown is all hype and no bite. Sure he gets the media spotlight, what else is there in texas but football, but he can't coach worth a lick. That's why a school in a smaller state like Oklahoma can whip up on him. I hear that Brown has never won a conference championship anywhere he has ever coached! {Our coach} turned {previous **** coaching job} into a {SWC/WAC/ACC/MAC/Other} powerhouse. {Our coach} is in the top {15/25/50/greater than 50} nationally in winning percentage. He will out coach Brown just like Stoops.

5th reason - {Player F's catchy nickname} time baby! {Player F} will be first team all Big 12 this year. There is no body better in the conference. In a close/blowout game, which this one will be, {Player F's catchy nickname} will make the difference.Texas's freshman kicker won't know what to do when the {insert spirit group or stadium section- Buff Fans/Tiger's Lair/12thMan/The Zone/ Other} leads the students in a deafening yell taking the Texas kicker out of his game.

6th reason - {Player G} seems to score one just about every week. This week will be no different.

7th reason - Defense. Our all-american caliber LB's, {Players H and I} will wreak havoc on the Texas offense. Texas wishes they had the likes of {Player H}.

8th reason - {Player J}. He will be in the Texas backfield all day!

9th reason - We block a kick just about every week. Punt, extra point, field goal, what ever. We'll get one this week too. I'm betting it's a punt block. We all remember how easy it was for NC State to do it to Texas. They won't know what hit them.

10th reason - Home field advantage. It's going to be a big weekend in {insert **** town here}. The {insert lame local attraction} and the {insert other sport} game along with the football game will bring {Tiger/Aggie/Buff/Bear/Jayhawk/Other} fans in droves. We'll pack the house, baby! Texas won't be able to audible and will be stuck with Daddy's boy throwing int's.

Team X- {insert score}
Texas- {insert lower score}


sincerely,
{BuffGuy1/TigersRock/BearDaddy/OldArmySqueeze/Other}.

{Go Buff's!/Tigers!/Bear's!/Gig 'em/Other}! ! ! ! ! ! ! !


Doperbo.
 
The funny part is I didn't write it. Some numbnut Tiger fan did. At least he claims he's a Tiger fan.

I can guarantee something very similar will reappear again in some form before T+1, likely from an Ag who believes it is a legitimate take.

Doperbo.
 
There is no way that team X should be rated that low in the polls. They beat team Y that beat team Z that is still ranked ahead of them. How are they then ranked above us?
 
Can this be inserted into MS Word as a Form? we could save other teams' fans the trouble of having to type it out by using a form letter generator/ search and replace function.
 
First of all I do think that you guys are a Top 5 team this year. Your description of "Team X" is probably true. I would like to add my description of Texas fans:

We're better than OU, last year we weren't ready. This year only two plays did us in. ( I take it OU never missed any field goals, dropped interceptions, got drilled by DD Lewis at the goalline, etc. OU had just as many missed oppotunities as you guys did. Some forced some unforced for both teams).

Stoops is going the juco route/quick fix, but Mack is building a foundation. (WTF)? The fact that Mack walked into a worse situation than Stoops did. ( I would like to see how many nfl players Mackovic had as opposed to Blake and Schnelly. Keep in mind we lost to Tulsa at home)!!

If El Ced, plays there could have been a difference. It's not Mack's fault, we should fire Greg Davis. El Ced rushed for 140yds on 30 carries against OSU. El Ced is now a mixture of Earl and Ricky all rolled up into one!

Why is that A&M fans are king of the moral victory? You guys are banking your greatness this year on playing OU to a virtual standstill. Before the game, OU had no depth and the DL would get pushed aroun, no answer for BJ, Roy, Sloan......if they were covered then who would cover Bo??......I've never heard of Bo Scaife until that game, is he on a pre-season big XII list? According to you guys, there is no weakness on your team.

It should be another great game next year. Let's home El Ced doesn't make a list in conjunction with Simms. If so, there is no way OU has a chance next year!
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We forgot to incorporate the part in the thread where the okie pulls up in his clown car and mulletifies the entire thread by somehow creating a UT/BlowU comparison out of an otherwise enjoyable read that had little, if anything, to with the people of Joad.

Thanks for picking us up on that, KansCityJoad.
 
One Mizzou post went so far as to brag on the Rams going to the SB vs. the crappy Cowboys & long-gone Oilers. And all along I thought this was a UT vs. MU game.

I guess the MU poster didn't have much else.
 
Man, I haven't laughed so much on this board in a week since I've been visiting here. There's a hell of a lot of funny threads floating around. It sure is a nice reprieve from Crim Law, Torts, etc.! Keep up the good work.

This a classic, Doperbo. Good stuff.
 
Yeah, I just saw that on the other thread MCA. Well done. It's surprising how many people agreed with the take. Actually maybe it isn't. And I wasn't kidding about likely seeing something like this again before T+1, only in earnest this time. It's got Ag written all over it.

Doperbo.
 
Mizzou at times has given the Huskers fits and has in the past pulled some shockers at home. If we go up there and turn the ball over 3 to 5 times anything is possible. UT should blow this bunch away but remember on any given Saturday anyone can beat anyone.
 
Clown car number 2 pulls up with sirens blazing. Hide the Skoal and the Dickel.

Joad rule of engagement #9-

Regardless of the context or intent of the discussion- repeatedly insert the score from the most recent victory over your rival, but do it in a way that implies that it is an opus of thought or redefines the constructs of Lincoln Douglas debate and Socratic reasoning. Generally act smug and self satisfied once this pinnacle of higher reasoning has been delivered.

I'll translate that into Joad if you want, sooner. It's amazing how many people simply don't have the mental aptitude that God gave Koko the gorilla. I get the idea that if I communicated the intent of the thread to her in sign language, at least she'd pick up on it and maybe be able to explain it to bullardhorn and your average sooner. Maybe not.

Doperbo.
 
There you go Doperbo, finally validation for the thread. An almighty sooner has blessed it by admitting that he finds it funny.
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