How should we teach English?
As you might guess I have very different ideas about how we should teach English. Specifically, I think we should focus more on communicating effectively. Even more specifically, we should train on identification of the central point and how to say it quickly. Our current system tries to get people to analyze irony in the Odyssey or such. I'd teach people how to write a memo.
Let me give you a few examples which precipitates this rant:
1. You stand in line in the Product Return area at Costco. There is a sign which tells you how to return an item. Not surprisingly it says "You must have a receipt." They imply any item purchased recently can be returned. I say "I want to return this. Here's my recipt." The people infront of me rant about when they bought it, why they bought it, how it doesn't work, and how it's caused them problems. It takes fifteen minutes. I don't know what they want, and it's the return area so maybe they want to return the item. That's not clear.
2. Your car breaks down on the road. You call a friend who is an expert and ask what you should do. Twenty minutes later, you know more about internal combustion engines but you aren't sure what he actually recommends. You say, "You seem to be saying that I can wait fifteen minutes (which this conversation has already taken), and limp to a repair place, but there are no guarantees I won't blow an engine." You hear another five minutes about what could happen but finally force a concession that the risk should be taken. I could have given the advice in twenty seconds, but admittedly would not have provided an education in internal combustion engines to a pissed off, hot motorist.
3. You are asked if you want to go to the ballet. You say "no". Later you find out you are an uncaring insensitive bastard because you refused to go to the ballet when it was Susie's big wish to go see the big production but was scared to go there at night without you. You wish she'd said, "Would you be willing to go to the ballet. It's extremely important, but I'm too scared to go there by myself at night." You'd have gone. Similarly you are asked whether you'd like to see the movie with Schwarzenegger or the one with Streisand. You vote Schwarzenegger, but after the ballet episode you point out that you would be willing to go see Streisand if it's important. You're deemed an *** for alluding to the ballet incident.
4. You are asked if you'd do a favor. The ease of the favor is elaborately characterized with a two minute speech. After agreeing you are led to the kitchen, a cabinet is opened and a letter scale is pointed to on the top shelf. After about five sentences of talking about the need to weigh letters, new postal rates. and God knows what else (you've zoned out), you ask "Do you want the scale?'. After hearing a yes, you grab the scale in three seconds because you can reach the top shelf.
5. You go to Wendy's. How long does it ******* take to order a number two combo with a Coke to go? It takes you five seconds. It takes the guy in front of you fifty.
You may not think this has to do with teaching English. I do. I was raised in a house with the "Tahoe disease". My dad has it bad and he taught me. He starts every discussion with about ten sentences of disclaimers and info you alredy know.
In business I was murdered for it early in my career. I had to give my analyisis to the boss who'd talk to the client. Like my peers I wasn't trusted to talk. I had to prepare exective briefings which we wrestled over for days. Massive discussion was centered on how to present a concept quickly. I saw the benefits of good communicatioon and the problems of poor communication. And I learned that CEOs are impatient as hell and not very inquisitive. Often you can commandeer fifteen seconds of "face time". Maybe it's outside his office while he's walking to the rest room. You have to say exactly what you mean, and very quickly. "I disagree with the current plans to purchase the new systemn. My plan is to ... Can we meet for five minutes soon to go over it?" Three quick declarative sentences. Now you know he needs more to buy your recommendation, but the objective is to get his attention for a meeting and not to issue a PO.
I believe that teaching English should have a heavy emphasis on communicating things in every day life. Written and oral are both required. Write. Write. Write. But not an analysis of a poem. Create instructions to a six year old on how to play baseball. I can think of several assignments for every day.
When I worked at Exxon a girl in my carpool was a top Princeton grad hired for the speechwriting department. She said she was one of the best writers at Princeton but felt incompetent in her new job. She spent a day on a short press release. Her boss rewrote it in five minutes, and his rewrite was incredibly superior. He spent a half an hour explaing the differences.
What are your ideas? What do you think of my emphasis on straightforward communication?
P.S. I had a poor English education and it was thirty five years ago. I took a college composition course in the Summer for transfer and a literature course at UT. Maybe the system is smarter now. But I doubt it.
As you might guess I have very different ideas about how we should teach English. Specifically, I think we should focus more on communicating effectively. Even more specifically, we should train on identification of the central point and how to say it quickly. Our current system tries to get people to analyze irony in the Odyssey or such. I'd teach people how to write a memo.
Let me give you a few examples which precipitates this rant:
1. You stand in line in the Product Return area at Costco. There is a sign which tells you how to return an item. Not surprisingly it says "You must have a receipt." They imply any item purchased recently can be returned. I say "I want to return this. Here's my recipt." The people infront of me rant about when they bought it, why they bought it, how it doesn't work, and how it's caused them problems. It takes fifteen minutes. I don't know what they want, and it's the return area so maybe they want to return the item. That's not clear.
2. Your car breaks down on the road. You call a friend who is an expert and ask what you should do. Twenty minutes later, you know more about internal combustion engines but you aren't sure what he actually recommends. You say, "You seem to be saying that I can wait fifteen minutes (which this conversation has already taken), and limp to a repair place, but there are no guarantees I won't blow an engine." You hear another five minutes about what could happen but finally force a concession that the risk should be taken. I could have given the advice in twenty seconds, but admittedly would not have provided an education in internal combustion engines to a pissed off, hot motorist.
3. You are asked if you want to go to the ballet. You say "no". Later you find out you are an uncaring insensitive bastard because you refused to go to the ballet when it was Susie's big wish to go see the big production but was scared to go there at night without you. You wish she'd said, "Would you be willing to go to the ballet. It's extremely important, but I'm too scared to go there by myself at night." You'd have gone. Similarly you are asked whether you'd like to see the movie with Schwarzenegger or the one with Streisand. You vote Schwarzenegger, but after the ballet episode you point out that you would be willing to go see Streisand if it's important. You're deemed an *** for alluding to the ballet incident.
4. You are asked if you'd do a favor. The ease of the favor is elaborately characterized with a two minute speech. After agreeing you are led to the kitchen, a cabinet is opened and a letter scale is pointed to on the top shelf. After about five sentences of talking about the need to weigh letters, new postal rates. and God knows what else (you've zoned out), you ask "Do you want the scale?'. After hearing a yes, you grab the scale in three seconds because you can reach the top shelf.
5. You go to Wendy's. How long does it ******* take to order a number two combo with a Coke to go? It takes you five seconds. It takes the guy in front of you fifty.
You may not think this has to do with teaching English. I do. I was raised in a house with the "Tahoe disease". My dad has it bad and he taught me. He starts every discussion with about ten sentences of disclaimers and info you alredy know.
In business I was murdered for it early in my career. I had to give my analyisis to the boss who'd talk to the client. Like my peers I wasn't trusted to talk. I had to prepare exective briefings which we wrestled over for days. Massive discussion was centered on how to present a concept quickly. I saw the benefits of good communicatioon and the problems of poor communication. And I learned that CEOs are impatient as hell and not very inquisitive. Often you can commandeer fifteen seconds of "face time". Maybe it's outside his office while he's walking to the rest room. You have to say exactly what you mean, and very quickly. "I disagree with the current plans to purchase the new systemn. My plan is to ... Can we meet for five minutes soon to go over it?" Three quick declarative sentences. Now you know he needs more to buy your recommendation, but the objective is to get his attention for a meeting and not to issue a PO.
I believe that teaching English should have a heavy emphasis on communicating things in every day life. Written and oral are both required. Write. Write. Write. But not an analysis of a poem. Create instructions to a six year old on how to play baseball. I can think of several assignments for every day.
When I worked at Exxon a girl in my carpool was a top Princeton grad hired for the speechwriting department. She said she was one of the best writers at Princeton but felt incompetent in her new job. She spent a day on a short press release. Her boss rewrote it in five minutes, and his rewrite was incredibly superior. He spent a half an hour explaing the differences.
What are your ideas? What do you think of my emphasis on straightforward communication?
P.S. I had a poor English education and it was thirty five years ago. I took a college composition course in the Summer for transfer and a literature course at UT. Maybe the system is smarter now. But I doubt it.
