Some people worry about the economy and job opportunities & cetera but I always like to bring the good news and words of gentle zen-like encouragement to my fellow citizens so here.
I'm on this consulting gig and about to deliver a PowerPoint presentation (working title: On the Web No One Knows You're a Shrill Underachieving Bipolar Misfit) peppered with my finest selection of ‘best practices’ (I actually use that term and people sit there at the conference room table and nod knowingly at each other because now their ‘practices’ are totally going from ‘inept’ and ‘shady’ to ‘best’ practically overnight, right) but as I think about PowerPoint a gaping cavern forms where my heart used to be. Not that I don't ******* kill with PowerPoint—oh I do smash it*—but one still likes to think of oneself as retaining some veneer of craftsmanship.
So I'm like scaling enterprise Java in the social cloud and ****—my audience goes nuts for the Web 4.0 part of the show (sparkling new content this season)—plus we’re all super excited about lunch because Subway, right? (Every time I mentioned food this one fatty patty at the table would squirm a little in her chair—later that night while she was riding my baloney pony at the La Quinta I called her Pavlov and made her bark. These are the good old days.)
Anyway just when I think the economy is totally crapola'd I get another call from some pasty middle manager in some vertical market whatnot wanting to know how to leverage web-based cross-selling opportunities via IP teleconferencing, and I'm all: what do you mean you're not the CEO, you ******* should be, strategizing like that and say didn't I see you at Burning Man '08 with those fleshy Scandinavian trannies?
So this is just one example of how you bring it in trying times.
Moral: there's plenty of opportunity out there for someone with a little skill and a good work ethic or, absent that, freakishly low standards and a somewhat relaxed moral code.
I think my work here is done.
* This one time Cheryl, the cute plus-size in HR, actually threw her panties at me after one of my especially enchanting kickoff meetings, I kid you not.
I'm on this consulting gig and about to deliver a PowerPoint presentation (working title: On the Web No One Knows You're a Shrill Underachieving Bipolar Misfit) peppered with my finest selection of ‘best practices’ (I actually use that term and people sit there at the conference room table and nod knowingly at each other because now their ‘practices’ are totally going from ‘inept’ and ‘shady’ to ‘best’ practically overnight, right) but as I think about PowerPoint a gaping cavern forms where my heart used to be. Not that I don't ******* kill with PowerPoint—oh I do smash it*—but one still likes to think of oneself as retaining some veneer of craftsmanship.
So I'm like scaling enterprise Java in the social cloud and ****—my audience goes nuts for the Web 4.0 part of the show (sparkling new content this season)—plus we’re all super excited about lunch because Subway, right? (Every time I mentioned food this one fatty patty at the table would squirm a little in her chair—later that night while she was riding my baloney pony at the La Quinta I called her Pavlov and made her bark. These are the good old days.)
Anyway just when I think the economy is totally crapola'd I get another call from some pasty middle manager in some vertical market whatnot wanting to know how to leverage web-based cross-selling opportunities via IP teleconferencing, and I'm all: what do you mean you're not the CEO, you ******* should be, strategizing like that and say didn't I see you at Burning Man '08 with those fleshy Scandinavian trannies?
So this is just one example of how you bring it in trying times.
Moral: there's plenty of opportunity out there for someone with a little skill and a good work ethic or, absent that, freakishly low standards and a somewhat relaxed moral code.
I think my work here is done.
* This one time Cheryl, the cute plus-size in HR, actually threw her panties at me after one of my especially enchanting kickoff meetings, I kid you not.
