Slap Chop. ShamWow I want one?

L

l00p

10,000+ Posts
Hey, it's Fitz or Vince again (whatever his name is). You know him, the Sham Wow guy. Now he is dropping pun upon pun upon euphemism.

You will love his nuts!

Stop living a boring life!

Who is this dude and other than Joisey or Brooklyn, where did he come from and why is he on tv?

Why do I find myself wanting a Slap Chop so I can also get a Graty?

The Link
 
I think he's funny as hell and very good at what he does. He beats the oxi clean/orange glo dude with the died black facial hair all to ****.
 
Yeah, this commercial is pretty funny.

Fettucini martini, bikini. What?

The thing actually looks like it might be a good thing.
 
Vince (or Fotz or whatever) has some sort of googly eye thing going, but I find myself wanting the products he shills. Especially the ShamWow.

But I admit to you that I do find Billy May attractive. And I don't even like facial hair.

I really love his ESPN360 commercials.
 
I've never know what it was called, but I've been using the slap chop for years. I've always thought it was a highly underated kitchen tool.

I did buy the vidalia chop and slice wizard as xmas grab bag gifts this year.
 
I don't own either the shamwow, or slap chop, but I wish I had both. Perhaps after another commercial, or two I will go for it. I just hate ordering stuff on the phone, or from a web site that I am unfamiliar with.
 
Hey l00p, speaking of special gifts like sham-wow, you promised to get me a Snuggie for Christmas - that overall robe you wear while your watching TV or talking on the phone to Grandma. Comes in blue, red or teal. I want the blue one thank you very much.
 
Somebody posted a picture of an older guy wearing one as he snoozed in his easy chair. That wasn't you? I thought it was and that you already had one!
 
I was joking around about the Snuggie, only to realize that my aunt and uncle had given them to each other as Christmas gifts...and they will probably take them to their children's baseball games, too.

On another note, I found this little jewel...
Little Jewel
 
Hurry up and order guys. You know he can't do this all day...
biggrin.gif
 
The guy has an interesting background with the Church of Scientology. I believe he's claiming that most of the profits from his enterprises go toward exposing and fighting the CoS, but can't remember for sure.
 
I have long wanted some enterprising documentarian to make a film or write a briskly paced 'expose' on these infomercials, their producers, their products, and their stars.

Vince Offer is great. Esteban was great. The British guy who wore a bow tie and suspenders while shilling car wax was great.

These things mesmerize me. They are so obviously filled with lies and cheapness, but the 'presentation,' as Oscar Schindler might say, is amazing.

I knew a guy who started a business with friends that revolved around liquidating the property of bankrupt businesses. One of their deals involved snapping up a warehouse or something filled with windshield wipers. While on a plane he sat next to a hippy-looking guy who suggested that he could get rid of the wipers via infomercials. Turned out to be the 'three-blade technology' wipers for $19.99 or whatever. They did boffo business and ended up having to quickly enter into a manufacturing deal in order to keep up with demand. Cash, parties, cocaine, etc. In order to make the profit margin work the injection moldings had to be used at least x-amount of times and that number ended up meaning that the last few wipers produced on a given mold were defective. The wear and tear effected the edges, and those wipers would create bad streaking on the windshield. Someone had an accident and blamed the streaking. They had to settle and the lawyers showed up for a feeding frenzy. They ended up selling the overstock to some guy who sold the wipers in China, or something like that, and the business went belly up. In, out, hello, goodbye. Seedy, but effective.
 
For twenty bucks, I might actually order one of those damn Slap Chops. Even though it's only twenty bucks, I don't know why, but I'm hesitant to order one.
 
They sell the ShamWows at Bed Bath and Beyond now (in Houston). The only thing I ever ordered from TV was the Flip-n-Grip and Scoop-n-Strain kitchen utensils. They work!
 
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