should this bother me?

C

crayon1973

500+ Posts
I'll try to make this short:

I have one group of friends that has hung out together for about 10 years rotating some people in and out. A couple in the group had a baby about a year ago and the mom insists on bringing the baby to pretty much every get together we have. I guess if we are all watching the game at someone's house it isn't a big deal but about 2 months ago she brought the baby to a nighttime party where everyone was getting pretty drunk. Anyway there is a pub crawl b-day party coming up and she is coming to the pub crawl with her 1-year-old. The father isn't going to be there, just her and the baby.

For some reason, I can't wrap my head around having a 1-year-old at a pub crawl. I don't want to say anything to her, but I'm not as comfortable with a baby around and I don't think being around 50 of your moms drunk friends is very good for the baby either. Do I have cause to be bothered by this or am I overreacting?
 
If she's not driving at all, not drinking to excess, and not riding in vehicle with an intoxicated driver, I wouldn't be very concerned. A 1-year-old isn't going to recall being around fifty of her mom's drunk friends when he/she gets older.

If she is driving while intoxicated, or riding in car with someone who is, that's a problem.
 
I would think it was weird, but I guess if she wasn't being otherwise irresponsible I probably wouldn't say anything. Do you know why she brings the kid? Is it because they can't afford a babysitter or something? Also, is the kid generally well-behaved? A screaming toddler at the pub crawl would definitely bug me more than one that was just hanging out. Sounds like she's trying to have the best of both worlds.
 
I agree it is inappropriate. Anybody else take issue?

As somebody who has been the only couple with a kid, they need to realize that a baby does change things. The use of a trusted baby-sitter is more appropriate than taking your baby to the pub. I don't see anything wrong with the house party event. I assume the baby was asleep for most of that event.
 
I was older than 1, but I had a BLAST hanging out with my parents drunk friends. I learned that if I sat in the corner and shut up, they'd likely let me stay and witness the scenes as the night got later and later.

Which doesn't answer your question at all. I'd be bothered if someone kept bringing their young'un around for adults-night-out. Luckily in my parents group of friends, there were several young'uns, and they'd hire a single babysitter, give us a nintendo, and go do their thing.
 
Yeah I would be bothered by the pub thing. The house party? Eh, it depends what kind of party

I don't really see the reason for bringing the baby to a pub. If she can't afford a babysitter, maybe she just needs to face the fact that sometimes you just can't go out.
 
It is odd. I've had to make rules when friends come over for an all night party to not bring your small children. That's because most people understand that a night of heavy drinking is not the best place for little kids. However you always have those who just bring their kids and it makes everyone else a little uncomfortable. So if the party is at my house, I establish that when I send out the invitations.
 
I agree with the general sentiment here, the party at the house - OK.

The party at the bar(s), not so good to really bad.

It sounds to me this lady (and maybe the couple) haven't grasped that they're parents now - with all that entails.

Saying that, as long as a sober person is in charge of their transportation, It's probably okay while the kiddo is this young, though I wouldn't be surprised to see the baby get tired and cranky pretty quick in bar, especially a noisy one...

Plus, there's the worry that the bar manager/owner will ask the lady to leave, that a bar is an innapropriate place for a child...
 
Does the mom's name start with a J and the dad's with a C?

I think it's totally inappropriate. When I'm going out or even to a house party, I don't expect there to be any kids there and I would not appreciate it if there were.

Leave your kids at home or stay home with them.
 
Eh.

Put me in the same category as those whose parents took them with them to bars. I spent many nights at the Armadillo World Headquarters, and the Broken Spoke as a young child. I think I got through it without much damage, and turned out all right. I actually look back on those memories quite fondly.

As long as she isn't getting wasted and putting the kid in danger, I've little problem with it - unless the kid gets unruly and disturbs the revelers.
 
It would bother the crap out of me. A lot of you are worried about the kid, but it's obvious when that's a problem and when it's not (i.e. drunk driving, etc.).

I would be more worried about how annoying it would be to have a baby around at all the social functions i attended. Babies make a lot of people uncomfortable in such a setting. Plus you've got the crying and the diapers. Don't annoy the **** out of your friends, stay home or get a sitter. You're not in college anymore.

Just my opinion
 
I think you are right to be bothered. You don't take even a well behaved one year old on a pub crawl. I recently took my six year old nephew to Uncle Billy's for lunch on a Saturday and felt weird about it.

Game watching parties, probably OK. Late night adult drinking house parties, borderline - I probably wouldn't do it but it depends on the group and the situation, and the kid will probably fall asleep in the back room anyway. Broken Spoke.... eh, I can maybe see because that can be a family-type deal. But not a pub crawl.

btw, when is this pub crawl? I haven't been on one in years and I think it's time...
 
Kangsta & El Guapo nailed it.

Bottom line: it would probably creep me out a bit & be a big Debbie Downer to the night.

There is a time & place for brining your kids around other people; this is not one of them.

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I'd def. be bothered.

The whole "it takes a village" thing doesn't mean that you should take your baby to the bar.

I can slightly relate. I have a buddy that just got married and his wife won't let him out of the house. If she does, she has to be with him. We tried to have a guys night and he brought her. I called my girlfriend, had her come over, gave her $40 and told her to take said wife to a bar. Wife refused to leave. Night ruined.
 
The problem isn't the health and safety of the baby, at a house, bar or otherwise. The problem is you get wierded out drinking in front of the kid.

The thing you have to ask yourself is how much you like your friends. If you start telling them they aren't welcome with their kid, you are going to start seeing them a lot less. It sucks, but it is the truth. These parents are hoping that their being there outweighes the fact they brought a kid.

All of that said, a one year old is more than old enough to have a baby sitter. How young are these parents? Can they not afford it, are they not comfortable with leaving their kid or are they just clueless to how they are changing the dynamic? By the time our first was one we were dying to have a night off to bar hop.
 
She needs to realize that she's a mommy now instead of a party girl. She should either not go to the pub crawl or kennel the kid for the evening.
 
Babies suck and should not be allowed in public.

Little kids (3+), on the other hand, are fun and often say the "darnedest" things.
 
atx - that would be correct
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The pub crawl was last night and yes, I was weirded out doing sake bombs 1 foot away from a baby. I'm not going to say anything to them as obviously they think this is normal but I guess I can expect to see the baby at bars from now on. Awesome.
 
i'm actually shocked that the bars let the kid in. wife and i tried to meet the in laws at the southpark meadows little woodrows when the kid was five months old for a happy hour. he was asleep in his carseat carrier thing, but they wouldn't let us in with the baby. we ended out going to pluckers.

i was initially kind of pissed, but then i realized that, hey, you're a dad now. things change a bit. little woodrows was well within their rights to refuse our entry.
 
She is being selfish imo. A house party is one thing....again depending on the situation. You would think she would have left early (bedtime for the baby) before the booze kicked in and the party got wild. Going out to a pub crawl is another.

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if you still want to go to bars, either pay for a sitter or don't have kids.

kids at bars=not cool
kids at game watching parties, no big deal if people there can handle it and don't think game watching party means stay till midnight.
 
rule #1 never shake a baby
rule #2 babies and kids that whine don't belong in public
rule #3 don't be galveston baby's dad.
 
No kids at bars. Day time parties are OK, I guess. Night time parties are for adults. I would honestly leave a night-time house party if I saw a kid there.
 
Knowing me, I'd be the one that felt so bad for the kid that I stayed sober and wound up watching over the kid while mom was doing Jager Bombs and dancing on tables.

It's somewhat irresponsible and selfish of her to bring her 1 year old (not a little kid, but a 1 year old). F that B.
 
I, like many here, disagree with their parenting style and it would unsettle me being around that situation, but it is their choice. If the event is not on your property and they don't ask your opinion, then I think you have to just keep quiet and live with it.
 
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