Rich people, don't answer this question

R

Ramathorn

1,000+ Posts
Growing up, I thought I was going to be filthy rich, like 2 tiers below Donald Trump rich. But when I was 25 and hustling, working OT, etc, I thought to myself, you know what, this just isn't worth it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to bang down Loopy's door to borrow some ramen noodles to feed myself tonight, I do ok. I can get whatever I want, I've seen the world, etc.

Now, I don't really care. I have everything I need. I don't think I want to live in the nicest house in Westlake or drive the nicest car. I'm just eh about it.

This post isn't assault on the wealthy either. About 90% of you worked hard for it and deserve everything you have. Kudos.

A few things I've learned in life, to those left in college, heed this old dude's (ok, I'm not that old):

1. Specialize in what you want to do. Your degree does actually matter.

OR
2. Be an entreprenuer. Have an idea and either fund it yourself or be passionate enough to sell it to someone to fund it for you.

If no on #2,

3. Get an internship and get your foot in the door. That thing they said about networking, it is actually the key.

4. Your degree is not a receipt for a 40k a year job. Those are coveted, believe it or not, early on anyway.

5. It won't happen overnight for most.

6. As George Burns said 'eitehr do what you love or love what you do."
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Geez, my post really drifted away from it's main idea. Anyway, original question, at what age did you realize you weren't going to be filthy rich and at what age did it not matter to you.
 
I'm probably not the guy you were aiming this post at because, being an old hippie, professional student, I never had any thoughts of being rich unless it was by winning the lottery. As you suggested, I eventually found something I really enjoyed doing for a living and that's what mattered. Research shows that once you get over the poverty level and are able to meet your basic needs in life, the correlation between income and happiness goes way down.
 
I think that it's fully possible to want to do something because you love it, no matter how much or how little you'll be compensated. I'll run into this choice sooner or later. I'm leaning towards general surgery, and the big choice is private practice straight out of residency (maybe a fellowship, that's the way things are headed) or academic medicine (a fellowship for sure). Academic medicine pays around 30-50% of what private practice does, but I want the chance to do research.

I think that qualifies as the kind of choice that you're talking about, and I don't feel bad responding to this post because I am very poor.
 
I've always had dreams of becoming filthy rich, working for myself, retiring young, and leaving a philanthropic legacy - a la Warren Buffet (albeit on a much smaller scale). I've never been a fan of the "deferred-life" plan and set high standards for myself to achieve as much as I could financially while I was young, so I could have the rest of my life to travel, enjoy life and make a difference.

I did well for a while, and managed to save up a nice sum 7 years post-UT. Nothing to retire on, but enough to start making a difference. I started helping a few people here and there etc, which gave me a taste of what I wanted to do and a thirst to do more some day. Hopefully once I became filthy rich I could do more was the idea.

Well, that dream came crashing down earlier this summer. One guy who I had helped enormously thru out the past year surprised me by declaring bankruptcy on a sizable amount of money that I loaned him to get him back on his feet. This coupled with a series of bad misfortune caused a domino effect in terms of cash flow that I have since not been able to recover from. My credit went from good to bad in a hurry and I now can't even qualify for a loan to help myself.

On top of this, my family wasn't doing well financially and led me to ultimately decide to move back home to support them. I recently moved back in with my mom and am currently working to put my two sisters thru school. One is at UTSA and another is heading off to UT next fall.

All this to say I have gone from poor college student to fairly well-off in my late 20s, back to being dirt poor again, and now having to support more than myself. I guess I realize I'm back to square one but I haven't given up on my initial dreams of becoming filthy rich just yet. I still have time. I don't think I will ever give up on those dreams because I have so much I want to do with it.

End of rant.
 
A desire to become filthy rich is probably not a recommendable prime motivator, only because it can happen for only a very small sample of the population. There's otherwise nothing inherently wrong in that desire or outcome, IMHO.

I definitely subscribe to the do what you love or love what you do approach. My profession was a good match for my skills and the work has been very satisfying, notwithstanding the tons of ******** that come with any career. I'm the guy always saying "isn't this great!" Its helpful to have that attitude.

Another point of view I think important is something like "all God's chillun's gotta work". If this job/career isn't working for you, work your way to another. But "not working" is not recommended as a thing to hold out as an alternative. Again, not because its inherently bad, but because most folks can't get by with it and it is destructive towards other strategies.

A degree with a good track record of performance is very important, at least in my trade, for new graduates. Less than 3.0 equals move along.
 
Quality of life is subjective.

I could live in a much larger house, have zero debt and drive two brand new cars just by working late most evenings and getting off to work early. It's not rocket science IMHO. You need to be self-employed, well funded, and motivated and you can pretty much write your own ticket if you are smart and can sell.

that being said- my wife and i chose to make sure one of us was always at home every day when my kids got home from school. We decided that my taking a very active role and coaching their teams was something worth doing in building a long term relationship with my kids. It's also personally emotionally gratifying I must say. When my kids were infants I did not mind working late and popping the extra cash in the kitty. As they got older I missed them and they missed me. Kissing them on the forehead in bed each night was not my idea of parental involvement.

We have financially sacrificed. I have a small fleet of new beamers and mercedes pick up their kids at the end of my practices. That is their choice. I know kids who get EVERYTHING you can imagine materially, and you know what their kids want most wehn they are younger? More time with their parents. As they get older peer groups are more important in all honesty despite earlier parental involvement. So for me the sacrifice is on the front end.

We are almost at the point of shifting the priority back to putting cash in the Kitty. It's going to be tough to make the sort of money I could have built up by working darn hard the last 8 years, in fact short of a miracle it won't happen.

I think the key is to find balance. For some the money is extremely important, oftentimes because of family financial history. It's a LOT better to have enough money than not enough money that's for damn sure! However, I can't look back and sit on a pot of gold and replace the memories and moments with my kids.

My wife and I pretty much have our life built around our kids, and we do not regret it. Working until 9 every night, and driving a new beamer every other year simply wasn't the carrot I was looking for.
 
I always grew up thinking I would be middle class. Even when I was thinking of going to medical school the money wasn't a motivator. When I got older and started working I realized work was work. it pays the bills. Even if I enjoyed my job, I didn't like the idea of being tied down 40-60 hours a week. I actually had this grand scheme of finding a job that normally pays 80K a year, but working 20hours a week, and taking 40K. Thats still my dream.
Now Im a teacher. I make enough money to get buy. It will be tough when I eventually have kids, but other teachers make it, so I know I can. I'm fine with it. I'll never fly first class... oh well. I'll never own a >30K car. I'll never stay at 5* hotels. I stopped caring about money when I was in my early 20's. I still have material possesions, just not the "best" status symbols. I have a car, just not a benz, I have a phone, just not a iphone. I go on vacations, camping/hostels and LaQuinta if I want to spoil myself, instead of Omni or resorts. I eat hamburgers instead of steak.
I also haven't worked a saturday or sunday since 1999. I get 2.5 months off every summer... spring break, 2 weeks at Christmas. Its a tradeoff. I see people a lot poorer than me and wish I could help them out more.
 
Great posts by all........Summer of 79, you are on the right track my friend. Let me share a few thoughts:

At age 39, I don't consider myself old, though certainly older than many on this board, but not nearly as old as some ........but I have had to put quite a bit of "life" under the tires.

I can tell you there will always be the chance to earn more money......but your most precious gift is time. It is the only thing that we can't "get back" in this life. Your kids yearn for it. It is a challenge to give it........but if you truly sit back and look at the folks in your life that appear the happiest..........almost all of that happiness/contentment is found in the relationships that they have invested in over the years.

None of those relationships are more important than your spouse, family, and children. Fathers cast long shadows, my friend.

I lost my oldest child and only son, Mitchell, 1 year ago from complications tied to his 2 1/2 year battle with leukemia. He was an outstanding athlete, incredibly smart, and kind to others. Although I miss him every day, it isn't out of regret, but simply out of loss.

Much like what you describe, Summer, I am that dad as well. Coaching him and his friends from age 4 up.......and even still now.....after his passing. I can look back on my time with Mitchell with a smile because he knew that he was the priority in my life. When times got tough, he loved his mom, but he asked for his dad. When the treatment hurt or the procedure scared him.......I was the one in the room.

Even though his life was cut short, I was privileged to watch him display the very characteristics/traits that I was trying to instill.......but he played them out on a much bigger stage - with far greater positive influence - than I could have ever imagined.

All is well.

I am now father to an only child.......a wonderful sister......and I intend to follow the exact same "plan" with her. So, I guess I just wanted to encourage all of you to very simply.........be generous with your time........love your loved ones.........tell them so..........because you are never guaranteed one more second than what you possess right now.

Even this Sooner can wish all my Longhorn brothers the best in this regard.........hook'em



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Jadubya, sorry about your loss. My boy is 2 and a half, and as I have stated many times, my life is over should anything happen to him.


Kids certainly add perspective.


Great post, sorry that your team will go down Saturday.
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Thanks, Ram....I provided that post not for sympathy....although I appreciate your kind words.....but to provide some perspective.

Speaking of perspective.......I know that Stoops isn't very well regarded down Austin way.....but he is a man of great character. My family has seen him well over 50 times during the course of our cancer treatment with Mitchell.....nothing for publicity.....just showing up to check on kids/families and offer help/encouragement.

Saturday will be a great game as always.......Horns looked great against CU........hopefully they won't continue their impressive play at the Cotton Bowl. LOL
 
My thoughts....at just turning 30 this year and a year removed from finishing my Master's degree (which I thought was suppose to lead to riches! haha)...Now I just want a job that pays me well enough to pay the bills, save for retirement, travel and buy a house in the future. I like what I do...but I've certainly explored avenues where I can make more money...even though about going back to school. I just hope that eventually I'll be financially comfortable enough to just draw and paint all day.
 
some very heart felt posts on here. it is interesting how your perception on life, money and happiness changes as you grow older and evolve mentally.

i am curious, from a financial standpoint, what do you all define as rich? 25, 50, 100, 500K?
 
In Austin, I would say around 200k is the beginning of rich. Obviously it goes way up from there and depends on how many kids you have etc. A single guy with no kids making 200k is rolling in dough.

A guy making 200k with 4 kids and their college to save for and 2 car payments and a house payment etc. is doing well but probably not that rich.

As with everything its all relative.
 
Nothing wrong with having money, but the best things in life are indeed free. Just being alive and relatively healthy is an incredible blessing.
 
My goal was to be a pro athlete. I worked in a cube and trained real hard at a sport that is real hard to be good at. I no longer work in a cube. I now coach my 5 year old's tball team. I manange fund accounts for rich people and make a decent living. Funny thing is is that 7 years ago, all i wanted was freedom to pursue getting that pro card. Now, I have that freedom and I choose to pursue more wothwhile causes in my free time than getting a pro card. It's funny how life works out.....
 
What is rich (moneywise)? Thing is, if you think about that much, it will tend to be beyond where you are at, wherever that is.

Surely we are rich if we have housing and food, and in this part of the country, AC, a means to support ourselves, and time to make a difference in the lives of those close to us.
 
Being rich doesn't buy happiness, but neither does being poor.

Some of the worst people I have ever met in my life were rich. Some of the nicest people I have ever met in my life were wealthy.

Some of the worst people I have ever met in my life were poor. Some of the nicest people I have ever met in my life were poor.

You're either happy or you're not. No amount of "stuff" - or lack thereof - will make any difference.
 
fifteen years ago at 32 I was pulling down close to 100 K per year selling construction equipment.

One night my wife sat me down and told me I needed to go back to school and get my teaching certificate so that I could teach Government and coach football because that is what I always wanted to do. Long story short I did it.

We are broke and I could care less, I am having the time of my life coachiing the offensive line and track and at the same time teaching 18 year olds how our nation is supposed to work from the eyes of a patriot.
 
I think I knew from the time I was a small child that I wasn't going to be rich. Which why I think I worked so hard for so many years, even when things were going better for me than I even dreamed possible. I was always preparing for disaster to arrive. I had a few minor set backs but I always seemed to stumble into something that made up for the loss and then some.

Honestly a great deal of my success can be attributed to dumb luck, putting my faith in people that worked hard (and rewarding them generously even when I didn't really have it to give), and really believing in the old adage "If it sounds too good to be true it probably is".

It can be hard to define success and for some even harder to know what rich means. I'll give you a clue to what I believe. If happiness is not a part of the equation you can neither be rich nor considered successful.

We all want tons of money. We can't all have it though. All you can really do is prepare yourself for upcoming opportunities and be able to take advantage of them as they pass by. You can substitute the word money for any other goal. Be it happiness, satisfaction or whatever. You could even insert failure there as well. A great many people work hard to set themselves up for that too. They are generally the most successful group at attaining their goal.

I will add one thing although it will not happen for everyone, life with money and no debt is a hell of a lot more fun than the other way around.
 
If we are talking household income, 200K is Rich. 100K is rich. If any one of 2 parents doesn't work, they are rich. I think in Texas, 30-100K is enough depending on children, etc. I could live on 30K a year. I actually live on 40K a year just fine. I pay my bills, live in a decent place, have a car,eat decently, put a little each month in a retirement account, and still have enough for a few things that are considered luxuries (laptop, bikes, etc). What I've found out, though, is the more money I make, the more I spend. I don't feel any more or less rich than I did when I made 15K a year working part time during school. So it kind of makes sense someone saying 200K isn't rich. They probably see things as digitalcable/HBO and a 60in HDTV, iPhone, and steak dinners as necessities.
 
I'd say i am in a weird sort of group. I do what i do because it allows me to do all the fun things i love to do when i am not working. I don't care that much about my house so i never really spent a lot there. I do have a fetish for cars, and I have spent a great deal of money there. It is idiotic, but wtf I love it. The wife and i can travel and be able to send our kid to a good school. I do what I do so we can do those things. Those are important to us. What i do to get really is not. Would I love to have a job i was passionate about? Most certainly. Would I trade one i was passionate about and give up what we have so i could find some sort of professional harmony or fullfillment? Not a chance. I don't hate what I do either, but don't love it per se. If I could find the same level of financial comfort doing something I really loved then I would do it, but at the moment they don't pay ski school instructors quite what the pay oil and gas financiers. Anyway, I go with the idea of figure out what you want in life and then figure out a way to get it. IF that is your career then find one you love. If it is being able to buy a big house then maybe you sacrifice career happiness for money. If it is retire at 40 you better find something you realy love, or be ready to be a desk slave hardcore. Anyway, i think there are many way to look at this. I have a very happy life that is fullfilling based on what I can do when i am not at work. My work allows me to have that.
 
Over the last three years, I switched my major from electrical engineering to physics to environmental science, and now I'm a teacher.

So I guess somewhere in there is when I figured out I'm not getting close to rich. Ever. But that's OK. I don't waste money on stupid crap very often at all. Most of the things that I want to do with my life have little to do with money. My life's (hopefully) going to be about what I do, not what I have.
 
At 53, I am more convinced than ever that living below your means is the key to a happy life.

The converse is that caring and/or attempting to keep up with the Jones's will almost guarantee unhappiness because there is always a richer or more successful Jones.
 
I was an undergrad majoring in finance with dreams of Buffett and Lynch dancing in my head. I was the administrator of the student-managed investment fund for two semesters and we brought in alot of investment bankers and fund managers to speak to the class. Some of them were impressive during their presentations. Going to lunch with them later, I was disappointed at the way they treated everyone from drivers to waiters to wives. I had heard about doctors having god-complexes and seen some who seemed the type, but I had never seen anything like these guys. Without fail, they all seemed to see themselves as capital-allocating masters of the universe.

Meeting these guys is when I learned filthy rich and influential, because I didn't trust myself to not become one of them. That's not to say I'm much, if any, better. I worked for, or as, one of them long enough to semi-retire without too many stresses.
 
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