One of those odd deals where the girlfriend thought I was mildly interested in seeing the movie and I thought she was. So we decided to go thinking we were doing the other a favor.
We could have completed the O Henry irony tale if we'd been armed with daggers. No doubt we would have simultaneously murdered each other for being subjected to such an endlessly tedious movie.
Jake Gylenhall is giving it all he has, but a twinkling eye and Errol Flynnesque acrobatics help this disaster about as much as a garbage scow loaded with golf balls and old tires are helping the BP Gulf oil leak.
The thing was evidently written by a ten-year-old who'd played the game many times. I know, we'll have a saucy female lead! We'll also have a plot involving royal court intrigue, betrayal and assassination! (Okay, I'm on board for that!)
But we'll really make it good by having this gimmick about a the Sands of Time Dagger that can reverse time but only for 60 seconds unless you find the secret supply of magic sand but be careful with the knife around that because it could destroy stuff and, oh no!, here come the bad guys we can put the dagger in the magic rock but now we don't have to so we can go find the secret sands and, and, and, and...(wha? Please, stab me with that dagger now! For the love of God make this endless blabber of expository dialogue about something I have ceased to care about end! Here, I've opened my shirt. Up between the ribs and into the heart. DO IT!)
So, we didn't much like it. I wish I had the dagger so I could get my two and a half hours back.
We could have completed the O Henry irony tale if we'd been armed with daggers. No doubt we would have simultaneously murdered each other for being subjected to such an endlessly tedious movie.
Jake Gylenhall is giving it all he has, but a twinkling eye and Errol Flynnesque acrobatics help this disaster about as much as a garbage scow loaded with golf balls and old tires are helping the BP Gulf oil leak.
The thing was evidently written by a ten-year-old who'd played the game many times. I know, we'll have a saucy female lead! We'll also have a plot involving royal court intrigue, betrayal and assassination! (Okay, I'm on board for that!)
But we'll really make it good by having this gimmick about a the Sands of Time Dagger that can reverse time but only for 60 seconds unless you find the secret supply of magic sand but be careful with the knife around that because it could destroy stuff and, oh no!, here come the bad guys we can put the dagger in the magic rock but now we don't have to so we can go find the secret sands and, and, and, and...(wha? Please, stab me with that dagger now! For the love of God make this endless blabber of expository dialogue about something I have ceased to care about end! Here, I've opened my shirt. Up between the ribs and into the heart. DO IT!)
So, we didn't much like it. I wish I had the dagger so I could get my two and a half hours back.
