no offense, but...

[Longhorn_Fan68]

Is it just me or is it about 99.99% likely that something offensive will follow that statement?

 

[YChang]

no offense but that's a stupid question

 

[txboy_in_az]

"No disrespect to......"
"With all due respect...."

 

[chuychanga]

Anytime you hear, "I'm not racist, but..." you know something racist is about to come out.

 

[PFD]

"You've got to keep an eye on those two, because they're going to try to get the upper hand," Parcells said about quarterbacks coach Sean Payton and defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer. "Mike wants the defense to do well, and Sean, he's going to have a few ... no disrespect for the Orientals, but what we call Jap plays. OK. Surprise things."

 

[Knoxville-Horn]

"I have a lot of black friends...."

 

[Dude]

"Can I be honest with you" is usually followed with a criticism that I should not feel guilty for saying because, after all, I'm being honest

"Pardon my French" is a good way to announce that you know your audience doesn't want to hear you cuss, but because you preface it with this handy phrase you get to curse without offending them

A good ending phrase, after you've said something offensive is to just add "...I'm just sayin..." It works best if you kinda shrug your shoulders when you say it.

 

[Steel Shank]

Not to toot my own horn, but I just ate two delicious ham and cheese sandwiches that I expertly prepared myself this morning.

Thank you. Thank you very much.