need help with getting child custody

[bmoore15]

I'm thinking about trying to get custody of my child from his mother. He is a 5 year old boy. Both his mother and I are 22 years old, yes I know I made a mistake at a young age.
She is living with her boyfriend who does not have a job because he has been waiting for almost a year to get a call to go back to the oilfields and hasnt bothered to look for a different job. She works in a job where she makes probably about $8-9/hr at best. They live in a crappy apartment and their apartment has always been a mess. She has had 2 cars repoed in the last couple of years and they currently only have 1 car that could break down any minute. She is also pregnant without the money to support the new baby that should be here in the spring.
My fiance and I are both in college right now and getting married in November. We have a nice, little modest home that we will live in but wont live together until after the wedding. We both have solid jobs that pay very well for college students. We do both only work part time but I graduate in December and will get a nice full-time job after that, at least hopefully. Our finances are in great condition right now too.
Would all of this warrant given us custody of my son? And if so how would we go about doing this? Any information or suggestions would really be appreciated. Thanks in advance for your help!

 

[Bluepies]

Grow a vagina and you might have a chance.

 

[CanaTigers]

Document everything, keep records of everything, save every text message, email, message and evidence of any kind, hire a very good lawyer and prepare to spend some money. It took a few years and about 30k total but I got mine.

 

[Djibouti, Djibouti]

I don't know if Bluepies is being serious or not...my experience has been that gender has less and less to do with custody proceedings. to a certain extent, it may depend on what county you're in and what judge you're in front of. I certainly wouldn't dispute that it wasn't that long ago that women were usually favored in custody issues before TX courts. however, the modern trend in many cases is to have joint conservatorships with close to a 50/50 custody split.

do you have a legal agreement regarding custody? things such as changed circumstances and best interests of the child will be in issue. your job may go to this. economic conditions at Mom's house may go to this. many factors can ultimately weigh in different ways. evaluation of the suit will be different depending on whether a formal custodial is already in place.

as noted above...document as much as possible. additionally, get quality legal representation. it's a bummer as good attorneys can be very expensive. but just like everything else in life, you tend to get what you pay for. I would probably favor going to a lawyer who focuses exclusively in family law, which is rather common.

the state bar website or your local bar association (ie Houston, Dallas, Austin, etc.) would likely help you find an attorney to suit your needs. looks for the family law section of the bar on the individual websites.

I'm sure there are some family law lawyers on hornfans that may have more specific suggestions for you.

 

[elface]

Good luck. Wrapping up an agreement on a contested child custody. this will be the second anniversary of the filing. The advice above is solid.

Contested custody is expensive and time-consuming and it can weigh heavily on the kid(s).

Do you have jt custody with the mother having exclusive right to determine residency? Do you get additional days over the standard possession order? With the daily log I kept, I would have been able to establish the number of days over the SPO, where I put the kids to bed and other everyday activities(a substantial number).

What does your fiance think? That will be crucial as you will be married before this ends.

One of the standards for changing custody is a change in the child's circumstances. It seems that reduction in household income of mother would qualify. Any drug use? alcohol abuse? etc.

 

[GHoward]

The good thing is you can (or will be) to afford a lawyer, and she won't.

I'm assuming you have already talked to this woman and tried to reason with her? Are you paying any child support right now?

 

[pulque]

Where do you live? If you can afford it, I might be able to give you a referral to a good family law professional.

 

[notreally]

it is going to be a tough road unless there are more "crazy" circumstances than you are sharing.... which i am sure they are.

just being generally "irresponsible and lazy" isn't enough to get them. if her decisions are not putting the child in danger, then it is really tough to get anything more than 50/50.

i feel for you. it is an expensive process. hell, i had to fight for visitation, not custody, and that cost about 7500. we didn't even go to court.

good advice above. document EVERYTHING. every payment, every stupid decision, every thing. every thing. some of it may not be useful later, but some of it may make the difference. it all adds up.

 

[scottsins]

if she can't afford a lawyer, you need to hire one to go apeshit on her. You also need to try and gather evidence like others have said. evidence of the house being filthy, etc.

You need to hire a lawyer and have him bombard her with pleadings and whatnot. i do that in cases like this and often the non-represented person literally just freaks out and gives up.

 

[2002_Horn]

You need to go hire a family law attorney to help out with your situation. I would also suggest hiring a PI to tail her. I don't know if you currently have an order in place (this is crucial). I would recommend trying to work her to get more visitation, and document the hell out of it. If you are consistently exercising more than standard visitation, that can be a big deal. If the child is in school, I would be as involved as possible.

There are so many facts and circumstances that can go into this. I would recommend with moving forward to finding a very good family law attorney. I practice family law, but I am also happy to give you some referrals depending upon how much money you want to spend. You could spend as little as $10,000 and as much as $100,000, but you do get what you pay for.

 

[l00p]

I would like to add something and I think Mr. Scottsins will agree. Be careful what you say online not just regarding her. Regarding everything and everywhere. You never know what eyes will see something and it can be taken a mile or out of context. Make each and every post as if your mom and dad were reading it. If you are in doubt, refrain.

I have a friend, as does Scottsins, who had this type of thing come up in proceedings. It did not make things impossible, just more tedious when the fewer complications were the better situation.

You never, ever know. Good luck and listen to the advice from above. You are getting good advice from a couple of great attorneys already. HEED IT to the letter.